The Proposal!!

pm88 · April 2009

I'm not married, nor engaged!!

But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!

heather_09_15_07 · April 2009

He asked, I said yes. The end.

A&Aa · April 2009

priscilla_ilj:
I'm not married, nor engaged!!
But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!

But you're trying to get pregnant? Call me old-fashioned, but.... Confused

nlvaden · April 2009

heather_09_15_07:
He asked, I said yes. The end.

pretty much....

Ashleyyyyy · April 2009

He took me out to dinner on the waterfront in Seattle and when we were exiting a horse drawn carriage was waiting for us. He proposed in a park.

Ashleyyyyy · April 2009

A&Aa:
priscilla_ilj:
I'm not married, nor engaged!!
But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!
But you're trying to get pregnant? Call me old-fashioned, but....

Ditto this.

andrew's wifey · April 2009

He proposed to me on his birthday, at my parents' house, our entire family was there, I knew it was coming, but I acted surprised anyway. Oh, and said yes.

oller2be · April 2009

I was leaving to see some family over in Switzerland for 3 weeks and DH saw me off to the airport, and on the way he told me that he didn't want to ever be without me and that I was the best thing that ever happened to him. I thought he was proposing right there in the car and got all weepy. When he dropped me off, all I got was a hug and a kiss. But 3 weeks later when I walked through the security point he was there with my parents wearing a tux and kneeling on one knee with a ring box open in his hand! We were all crying (even my dad) before I even reached them.

lo45fd98wq32 · April 2009

We were eating pizza. He called me into the bedroom.

Nothing fancy.

pm88 · April 2009

Yeah I am. My parent's generation in up in my family are all married. But none of my cousins or anyone else. My sister is has been with her husband 10 years and they have a 9 year old, but they don't want to get married. Not anytime soon at least. I would love to get married. But he's not ready yet. Most people here have kids without getting married. I wouldn't mind having a baby before marriage. I've been living with him for 2 years.

californiastars · April 2009

We were driving home from his parents and we were talking about how the next time all the family would be out would be for our wedding. I told him I wanted a year to plan and that we want to get married right after graduation (college not highschool). That pretty much meant we needed to be engaged right then and there. By the time we got home we were engaged and already had our wedding location picked out (did a driveby of the chuch before heading home)

Oh and you are TTC and not married? I am old fashioned.

heather_09_15_07 · April 2009

Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.

mrs_kelly1014 · April 2009

priscilla_ilj:
Yeah I am. My parent's generation in up in my family are all married. But none of my cousins or anyone else. My sister is has been with her husband 10 years and they have a 9 year old, but they don't want to get married. Not anytime soon at least. I would love to get married. But he's not ready yet. Most people here have kids without getting married. I wouldn't mind having a baby before marriage. I've been living with him for 2 years.

If he's not even ready to get married, how is he ready to have a baby?

ETA: While I personally wanted to be married before having a baby, I realize everyone does not feel that way. I understand that there are people who will be together for 20 years and not ever get married and are very committed to each other.
However, having a baby with someone who is "not ready yet" to get married might make me think twice.

RLR5819 · April 2009

We were at my work conference in Hilton Head Beach, we went out to the beach before dinner - he asked, I said Yep

Bubbalini · April 2009

priscilla_ilj:
Yeah I am. My parent's generation in up in my family are all married. But none of my cousins or anyone else. My sister is has been with her husband 10 years and they have a 9 year old, but they don't want to get married. Not anytime soon at least. I would love to get married. But he's not ready yet. Most people here have kids without getting married. I wouldn't mind having a baby before marriage. I've been living with him for 2 years.

I am sorry if this sounds mean because I understand that people have different cultures and ideas on what is right or wrong, BUT just because people in your family made that decision doesn't mean that you have to follow suit. How is he ready to have a baby if he isn't ready for a wedding?

swimrbride · April 2009

DH apparently that morning decided he was going to propose so went and bought the ring. We were going out to dinner and a movie with a friend of mine and her bf about 45 minutes from where we were living. One the way back home it took almost 3 hours because they had the road shut down, so we didn't get home until 12:30-1am. I was exhausted so I started getting ready for bed and had my shirt off already and I turned around to see him on his knee. I sort of shook my head no in disbelief then I finally got the word yes out. But I did momentarily freak him out with the shaking of the head.

pm88 · April 2009

Marriage isn't a requirement to have a baby. We just don't want to get married yet. I'm not old-fashioned and neither are my parents or family.

A&Aa · April 2009

heather_09_15_07:
Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.

Its not, of course. However, I firmly believe that unless circumstances prevent you from marrying (state laws banning same sex marriages, religious beliefs preventing remarriage/divorce, etc...), a child should live in a home with two committed parents. Do you need to be married to be committed? Absolutely not. However, unless you have a specific reason for not getting married, why not get married THEN have kids? I am a teacher and see way too many kids without two positive parental influences in their lives. I don't care if it is two moms, two dads, a dad and a mom, or any other combination of the two, but I think a child deserves that commitment.

With that being said, can you be a good parent without a partner? Certainly. But I have yet to meet a single parent who has told me that it is easier and better on their child.

Rant over

newbie425 · April 2009

I knew it would be happening before my graduation, but not how or when. So one day after a long internship, I met him at his parents lakehouse. He wanted to take the boat out for the first spin (of the year) around the lake. I refused, until I had eaten, I was in a ?horrible mood. I went and popped a microwave meal and said, ok whatever, i'll bring this on the boat.

So we hopped on the boat, drove out to the middle of the lake. his sister called a few times on the way there (even though she knew) b/c she was lost, trying to get to the Royals game.

Eventually we got to chatting and he popped the ring. I was like, no way, are you for real? lol I was shocked b/c it was such a surprise, it caught me off guard. It was a great moment. we came back in and watched the royals game on TV and called all of our family and friends. The next day the IL's came over and we had a great celebration. The cutest thing about it is that he took his younger sister (out of school) to help him find the ring!

iteachk · April 2009

We were vacationing in Belize with our families. He proposed on a balcony overlooking the ocean at sunset on New Yer's Eve. With the ring I had been eyeing for months. I was completely shocked. I figured he might propose the next year.

Yeah, he's good.

californiastars · April 2009

mrs_kelly1014:

priscilla_ilj:
Yeah I am. My parent's generation in up in my family are all married. But none of my cousins or anyone else. My sister is has been with her husband 10 years and they have a 9 year old, but they don't want to get married. Not anytime soon at least. I would love to get married. But he's not ready yet. Most people here have kids without getting married. I wouldn't mind having a baby before marriage. I've been living with him for 2 years.

If he's not even ready to get married, how is he ready to have a baby?

This

Bubbalini · April 2009

heather_09_15_07:
Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.

Nope, I completely agree with you that marriage is not a requirement for having a baby. I don't think the non-married, non-engaged part is what is curious to me here. It is more the "he's not ready for marriage, but he's ready for a baby" that worries me. I'm pretty sure that my marriage is a walk in the park compared to taking care of another human.

staycee · April 2009

mine is so unromantic.

we'd already picked a date about 6 months before (that was only 6 months away). We'd already booked the reception and the church.

I knew the night he was going to do it when he said he was taking me to a fancy restaurant that I'd been wanting to go to. I told him that we needed reservations - he'd already made them (Which he never does!).

we walked up to the lighthouse above the Queen Mary after dinner to sit on a bench and watch the sunset. Since I knew it was coming, I was totally messing with him. "Gee, we should go". Since I knew he was waiting for all the other lingering people to leave. He was shaking, poor guy.

Jlynn3 · April 2009

We were walking the waterfront in Philly one night after dinner. He turned to me and said... "Well, its about that time." My response was "Time for what?"... Next thing he's on one knee and slipping the ring on my finger. Obviously I said yes.

He will never live down "Its about that time"

pm88 · April 2009

A&Aa:
heather_09_15_07:
Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.
Its not, of course. However, I firmly believe that unless circumstances prevent you from marrying (state laws banning same sex marriages, religious beliefs preventing remarriage/divorce, etc...), a child should live in a home with two committed parents. Do you need to be married to be committed? Absolutely not. However, unless you have a specific reason for not getting married, why not get married THEN have kids? I am a teacher and see way too many kids without two positive parental influences in their lives. I don't care if it is two moms, two dads, a dad and a mom, or any other combination of the two, but I think a child deserves that commitment.
With that being said, can you be a good parent without a partner? Certainly. But I have yet to meet a single parent who has told me that it is easier and better on their child.
Rant over

You have a good point. My dad and his first wife got married, had a child, and a year later divorced. She still had two very committed parents whether they were married or not. Single parents do have a really tough job, but just because I'm not married doesn't mean we're not going to be together. My sister is an example of that. I'm not following what my family does or believes in. We're just not getting married yet. Simple as that. When he proposes, I will definitely say yes. Whether there is a baby before or after that.

californiastars · April 2009

A&Aa:

heather_09_15_07:
Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.

Its not, of course. However, I firmly believe that unless circumstances prevent you from marrying (state laws banning same sex marriages, religious beliefs preventing remarriage/divorce, etc...), a child should live in a home with two committed parents. Do you need to be married to be committed? Absolutely not. However, unless you have a specific reason for not getting married, why not get married THEN have kids? I am a teacher and see way too many kids without two positive parental influences in their lives. I don't care if it is two moms, two dads, a dad and a mom, or any other combination of the two, but I think a child deserves that commitment.

With that being said, can you be a good parent without a partner? Certainly. But I have yet to meet a single parent who has told me that it is easier and better on their child.

Rant over

I agree completely

pm88 · April 2009

I respect everyone's opinions.

I love all the proposal stories!!

A&Aa · April 2009

priscilla_ilj:
A&Aa:
heather_09_15_07:
Huh. I wasn't aware marriage was a requirement of having a baby.
Its not, of course. However, I firmly believe that unless circumstances prevent you from marrying (state laws banning same sex marriages, religious beliefs preventing remarriage/divorce, etc...), a child should live in a home with two committed parents. Do you need to be married to be committed? Absolutely not. However, unless you have a specific reason for not getting married, why not get married THEN have kids? I am a teacher and see way too many kids without two positive parental influences in their lives. I don't care if it is two moms, two dads, a dad and a mom, or any other combination of the two, but I think a child deserves that commitment.
With that being said, can you be a good parent without a partner? Certainly. But I have yet to meet a single parent who has told me that it is easier and better on their child.
Rant over

You have a good point. My dad and his first wife got married, had a child, and a year later divorced. She still had two very committed parents whether they were married or not. Single parents do have a really tough job, but just because I'm not married doesn't mean we're not going to be together. My sister is an example of that. I'm not following what my family does or believes in. We're just not getting married yet. Simple as that. When he proposes, I will definitely say yes. Whether there is a baby before or after that.

I would change that "When" to an "If". Nothing is definite until its done. Sorry to be harsh, but its true. I'm sure your sister is an example of that, but my four friends who got pregnant before being married and then eventually ended their relationships are also examples.

If he's not ready to be married, he sure as HELL ain't ready for a baby.

Anna&Matt · April 2009

softskate31:
Why would you intentionally want to have a baby with a man who isn't ready to commit to you - what makes you think he will commit to the baby??
I can see it if you don't like the institution of marriage - and that is your reason - but saying he isn't ready is a little scary IMO.? There's always exceptions to the "expected norm" and internet strangers don't know you and your situation - but please think about what intentionally having a baby with a man who isn't ready to marry you could mean down the road.

This. Honestly if he "isn't ready" to get married he's not ready to be a dad. Even if he was ready to get married he may still not be ready to be a dad.

We know a lot of people who have had a baby before they got married and only one couple is still together now (out of 6). So please really really evaluate your relationship before you have a baby to make sure you are doing what's best for you, your BF, and the potential baby involved. GL with whatever you decide!

And to answer your question we went out to dinner - he asked me - I said yes.?

Stategrl21 · April 2009

There is a local Rose garden that we had talked about wanting to go to and take pictures and get pics of each other. So he told me to get dressed up and that we would go.

So we're there and I'm taking lots of nice pictures of the flowers, scenery and we took some of each other. Then we sat down on a bench and were chatting a bit. He asked if I was ready to go to dinner and I said yes. Then he reached into the camera bag while saying he wanted to take a few more pictures of me before we left but that he had something for me to wear first.Then he got down on one knee and said 'Brittany I love you' and I said 'Yes!' and he was like 'let me finish' and the said 'Brittany I love you, will you marry me?' I said yes and we kissed and I started jumping up and down and then we called our parents and siblings. My sister were screaming as loud as I was

bancbev · April 2009

ashley21babe:
A&Aa:
priscilla_ilj:
I'm not married, nor engaged!!? ??
But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!?
But you're trying to get pregnant?? Call me old-fashioned, but....
?
Ditto this.

I not married nor engaged and we have been TTC for 5 months. ?For some people, marriage just isn't important. ?For us, we "might" go to the courthouse and elope but not sure yet.

heather_09_15_07 · April 2009

Hey, I'm married and waited to ttc until after the wedding. I just hate the judgmental tone that some people take. Just because that choice was right for me and my family doesn't make it right for everyone.

pm88 · April 2009

I understand where everyone is coming from. I honestly do.

We live together, we're very committed, and we want a baby. I know he would be an excellent father.

Nicole731 · April 2009

Marriage = 'lifelong commitment' that can be broken at any time

Child = lifelong commitment that can NEVER be broken.

I, too, don't understand how he can be ready for a baby but not for marriage.

As far as my proposal...I found the ring before he did it, so I knew it was coming. I pretended I didn't know. He still doesn't know to this day. Hah.

MsBeaglesly · April 2009

bancbev:
ashley21babe:
A&Aa:
priscilla_ilj:

I'm not married, nor engaged!!

But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!

But you're trying to get pregnant? Call me old-fashioned, but....

Ditto this.

I not married nor engaged and we have been TTC for 5 months. For some people, marriage just isn't important. For us, we "might" go to the courthouse and elope but not sure yet.

I am getting married in May - just decided on this a month ago. Been TTC for almost 8 months. Marriage and having babies is a personal choice.

pm88 · April 2009

Thank you ladies for understanding and thank you ladies for your opinons.

*BlackSheep* · April 2009

ashley21babe:
A&Aa:
priscilla_ilj:

I'm not married, nor engaged!!

But I would love to hear everyone else's stories!!

But you're trying to get pregnant? Call me old-fashioned, but....

Ditto this.

Yea, This

sazzette · April 2009

We talked about getting married for a while and told our parents during the Holidays (we got promise rings for each other). I didn't get a ring until 8 months later when we did and engagement party that was beautiful. HE even went down on one knee in front of 40+ people. Everyone cried! lol

We wanted to have a baby so bad that we though of having one before getting married. FOr our families it was a big deal for us to be married first so we did that and I don't regret it but I could have done it the other way around too.

Bubbalini · April 2009

I just realized you are in college full-time. Please, please tell me that your boyfriend has a full-time job with health benefits?????

ETA: health benefits that cover you as well.

palomaLuna · April 2009

mrs_kelly1014:

If he's not even ready to get married, how is he ready to have a baby?

Ditto this.

Edit: Just read that you're in a committed relationship and would make an excellent father. Yes That changes things, a lot! Best of luck with your plans.

jessicasue87 · April 2009

well it was christmas morning and we were opening gifts and the last gift i opened was a lock box with a note that said to find the key i had to follow the clues. so it was a scavenger hunt throughout my apartment to find the key. finally i found the key and opened the lock box and there was a ring box!! well i opened the ring box and it was empty but a note that said to 'turn around' and when i did there he was on one knee with the real ring box opened and the ring inside!! it was great something that we will both remember forever, and then after we got dressed and ready we went to my parents house and told them! they were so excited and the rest of the family found out at dinner that afternoon.

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