so...what are your thought on shower for #2?

shari_rngleson · April 2009

i just got invited to a baby shower, and this is her 2nd! ?i always though that showers were only for your first baby..i would never have one for #2!

would you???

~CoCo~ · April 2009

I could go either way on this- if there's a large gap between babies, or if the 2nd kid wasn't planned, they'd maybe given everything away... So that's OK with me.

If this is a run-of-the-mill second kid, and the family is NOT in dire financial straits, then nope, waaay too gift-grabby for me, and I'd pass. I might send a card of congratulations, or an inexpensive outfit or something, but I wouldn't go to the shower.

EastCoastBride · April 2009

There are special circumstances,but by and large, I feel showers are for first time parents. As showers are GIFT GIVING events, I feel having multiple showers for more kids is asking a lot of your friends. I have heard of people giving "sprinkles" - very SMALL showers for only the closest of family and friends, and that I can roll w/ .l But full on showers where everyone under the sun is invited? Tacky in my book.

If people want to "celebrate the baby", they can have a party once the baby is actually here to celebrate it!

thatgirlang · April 2009

I'm having my second and want no parts of a second shower. I feel that there are still ways to celebrate the baby and pregnancy without a shower.

RoxyLynn · April 2009

You're right, showers are only for first-time mothers (no matter if there are 10 years between #1 and #2). Even ithough it was (presuably) the hostess's idea, the guest of "honor" should've declined the offer.

I know dozens of women with 2 kids (and one or two with three children), and no one has ever had a shower beyond the first baby. I'd "have another obligation" that day, decline the invitation, and - as I always do - bring a gift after the baby is born.

surprisebaby4us2009 · April 2009

RoxyLynn:

You're right, showers are only for first-time mothers (no matter if there are 10 years between #1 and #2). Even ithough it was (presuably) the hostess's idea, the guest of "honor" should've declined the offer.

I know dozens of women with 2 kids (and one or two with three children), and no one has ever had a shower beyond the first baby. I'd "have another obligation" that day, decline the invitation, and - as I always do - bring a gift after the baby is born.

I totally disagree. Its been 11 years since my last child, i have new friends, and a new life with my fiance. I didnt care if i had a shower or not but his family and my friends insisted. So, awesome!

The thing is, some people have showers for multiple pregnancies and i really dont mind at all. My friends have showers for babies a couple of years apart, a different sex baby, or for multiples. Not only do i go to the shower to celebrate the new baby, but i also bring a gift for mom and baby after the birth. I think it is TACKY to look like a cheap ass because you are too old fashioned to celebrate a new life... (and i love my friends and their children)

k_kapral · April 2009

I believe that it also just depends on the situation/circumstance.

If you have a HUGE gap between children or you're in financial stress I think a second shower is okay. Other than that it's kind of weird.

Also agree witth another poster about the idea of a "sprinkle" instead of a shower... but gift giving should be limited. Some people get very upset if you don't do things by the book and I wouldn't want to piss any relatives off FOR SURE! lol

Gem17 · April 2009

I wouldn't have one.

honeybeez · April 2009

We've done casserole showers for 2nd babies. Food for when mom comes home from the hospital.

DNK777 · April 2009

Around here showers are for first-time moms only. I would not have one for #2 especially since I had one for #1. I might do a meet the baby though, but it would only be very close friends and family.

DiscusCoach · April 2009

I am rather against them except for extenuating circumstances. I do like the idea of a little informal "sprinkle" or something. That is nice.

An example of extenuating circumstances would be my sister who had the babies 5 yeas apart (a girl then a boy). She is a military wife and, while stationed overseas, the levy near base housing broke and she had water up to her window sills in 30 minutes. She lost almost everything. Even the stuff upstairs that wasn't sitting in the water was covered in mold. She had nothing for baby number two when the time came.

Stellar1 · April 2009

It depends on how long is between the two kids. A woman I work with has a five year old and she just had a baby. Our team at school threw her a baby shower and I was totally fine with it. I know of another girl who just had her third girl in less than a few years and I didn't go to her shower. I thought that was a little much.

gr8skin4u2 · April 2009

I agree with most of the pp - it depends on the situation. How many years between the children and their family situation? Maybe it is the father's first child, his family would want to do something for the new baby.

If I were invited and it wasn't one of the above situations, I would probably go, but not spend as much unless I knew the family was without something. I think it would be rude to make up an excuse not to go just because it was #2 child.

SaranJonathan · April 2009

I am against a shower for #2. My cousin had 2 showers (and yes they were different fathers) but IMO they could have had one for his side only. I was not all about buying gifts again. And its not about celebratin life, you can do that without a party with gifts. I always bring a gift for when baby arrives, I spend a varied amount depending on how close I am with the family.

In the rare circumstance where they family had a house fire or flood thats different.

And as for they are not financially stable makes me upset. If you cant afford the basic baby things then really you should think about the next 20 years that you will be raising that baby. Sorry I dont think everyone else should pay for someone elses decision to have a child.

dansozzi · April 2009

I was 16 when I had my 1st and did not have a shower fast foward 11 year. I am pregnant with my 2nd and will have a shower. ?I am so excited about it. ?I think it is fine to have a 2nd shower if there is a huge cap in between kids. ?Other then that I think 1 shower is limit unless you want to do like a meet the baby or like someone else said a sprinkle shower. ?

jenmarie_78 · April 2009

I threw a shower for my SIL and it was her second. We didn't have one with our family fot the 1st one, because it was so close to her bridal shower that I threw her. Someone else could have thrown her one, but I didn't feel like it was right for me too, so she didn't get one. We just threw a diaper shower, so everyone just brought diapers. It was fun...

If someone offered to throw me one for my second, I would let them do it, but I would not even think about asking someone.

yo.mama · April 2009

I would never throw my own shower, but I can't control what other people do. If someone wants to throw me a shower for number #2, why not?

aniticipation · April 2009

I love the casserole idea. I would not have a shower for a second, even if there was a large gap in between my kids. People would probably still buy gifts but it's not the same.

HapPapFam · April 2009

My mom wants to throw me a shower, it will be for #2. My son will be 5 when the baby is here, and I never had a shower when I was pregnant with him. So I guess it depends on the circumstance. I dont have a problem with my mom wanting to throw me a small shower, it would only immediate family, and 2-3 friends.

kbud9 · April 2009

Good Lord, this again? The whole showers are for first time mothers idea is just an opinion. There are many who do not share that belief. All showers are not big fancy events. In my circles we have showers all the time but they are very small and informal. People are so snooty about this. Who cares if its more than one child??

LacysLovinLife · April 2009

My grandmother always throws the shower for the new mom and the whole family pitches in on planning, food, decorations, etc. We have showers for each baby, because each party is an excuse for a get together and each baby deserves a celebration. Just MHO.

J+O · April 2009

surprisebaby4us2009:
RoxyLynn:

You're right, showers are only for first-time mothers (no matter if there are 10 years between #1 and #2).? Even ithough it was (presuably)?the hostess's idea, the guest of "honor" should've declined the offer.
I know dozens of women with 2 kids (and one or two with three children), and no one has ever had a shower beyond the first baby.? I'd "have another obligation" that day, decline the invitation, and - as I always do - bring a gift after the baby is born.
?I think it is TACKY to look like a cheap ass because you are too old fashioned to celebrate a new life... (and i love my friends and their children)

THIS 110%!

TaraBrooks · April 2009

My sister is expecting baby #2 in August, and my niece is 14 months old currently, so I wasn't planning anything for her, seeing as she still had everything from her firstborn. However,she found out she is having a boy, so we are throwing something very small together, seeing as she will only need boy clothes and perhaps new bottles, diapers and such. If she was having another girl my mother and I wouldn't have bothered.

howleyshell · April 2009

I think it depends a lot on the area of country you're in and your culture. For some it seems to be a norm.

But.... I think it's a "new" thing and I personally think it's gift grabby and tacky.

I was offered a second shower and declined.

I'm sure the hostess and all my friends are secretly grateful.

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so...what are your thought on shower for #2?

Re: so...what are your thought on shower for #2?

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