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NBR: What are your thoughts on living together before marriage
A co-worker and I were just discussing this. She feels that people should be married before living together. Me being half her age, I felt that it was fine to live together first. What are your thoughts?
Maybe this is a question too...did you and your DH live together first? How common is this? My DH and I lived together for about a year before we got engaged and married another year later.
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Re: NBR: What are your thoughts on living together before marriage
IT'S HORRIBLE.
sinners!
DH and I started living together about 5 1/2 years ago. Of course we'd been together for 4 years already but that's beside the point.
I think it's important to live with your SO before marriage. You get to learn A LOT about that person that you may not have known before. And you can work kinks out BEFORE marriage that way it doesn't cause any extra strain!
I moved in with DH about 6 months after we started dating and we lived together almost 2.5 years by the time we got married. You never really know someone till you live with them and I was not going to marry someone I could not live with you know?
My parents were very against it at first and so were his. I think the norm back in the day was to get married first.
We lived together a year before getting engaged, then 6 months before we were married.
My entire family pretty much is riddled with divorce, and I thought that would be one good way to ensure that we were right for each other prior to getting married, so we didn't end up in the same boat. ?
We lived together before marriage and still talk about how glad we are we did it that way. Living with someone is so different. They have tons of weird habits (I'm messy and scatterbrained, which you don't really get the scope of until you live with me, DH will not clean the bathroom, even if a rat family were burrowing in the rug) that you need to know if you can handle before you get married.
Ideally, I would've done the right thing and not lived together before marriage but we learned so much about each other and got the inevitable problems out of the way before we got married.
i couldnt imagine NOT living together before getting married. it was just the next logical step while we were dating. plus, if youre against living with him - i assume then youd be against shacking up at his house overnight? no?
eta: and yes, we lived together actually within 2 weeks of starting to date. we just knew and it worked out perfectly
My H and I did not live together before we were married. I have no opinion on it, whatever works for other couples is great, but for us, not living together before marriage was great, for a few reasons:
1. We were high school sweethearts, and it was good experiencing living all on our own for a while, instead of going straight from parents' house to living with significant other
2. Since we'd already had sex, living together was our something special. We didn't wake up on Saturday morning and drive ourselves over to the church to be married and then go back home together. We came to the church as single people, coming from our single homes, and we left a married couple who went home to their joint home for the first time. I don't know...it was just neat.
But H and I knew each other very, very well. We'd dated for 5ish years, and had been friends and classmates since we were in 4th grade. If we hadn't known each other so well I probably would have wanted to live with him a little while to see what he was like all the time.
Personally, I dont have a problem with it. DH and I, however, didn't live together until after we were married. His parents had moved him into our house (I lived there for a year before we got married) while we were on our honeymoon.
edit: although we didn't "live" together, we did have "sleepovers" on the weekends and spent alot of time together. We had sex before marriage, but also wanted that special thing after the wedding.
We lived together 5 years before we got married! We were really young when we met though and weren't ready to make it "official" but definitely wanted to be together full time.
For me wedding planning was a big stress...I would have hated to have the added stress of moving in together at the same time.
I would encourage my children to live with their partners as well, if they were serious about them and the relationship.
I should start by saying I never had a problem with people living together before marriage but said I wouldn't out of respect for my parents.?
Now when i met my husband and we got engaged he moved to my home town and got an apt. Since we were already engaged my parents said we should just live together because I was staying there a lot anyway. I am glad we did. But, I wouldn't have lived with someone before I was engaged.
Whatever feels right to the couple! I didn't live with my DH before we got married, and i though it was great! I liked my space, but its not like i didn't spend the night at his place every weekend...hehehe.....
After we got married we went through "roomate" issues though, you know the "who's turn is it to take the trash out" or "could you put the toilet seat down!!" etc. ?It was kind of funny because those were the little argument we would get into our first year of marriage, all could have been avoided or at least got it out of the way if we lived together when we were dating....in my opinion, hehehe
My upbringing said LTBM was not cool. And, unlike so many of my peers, I actually agreed.?
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we did not live together before we were married. we each owned our own homes so it didn't make sense. i will say though that you learn A LOT living together and i can totally see why it would make sense to do it before you make a lifelong commitment to each other.
Two angel babies 11/09 and 4/10
I think it's a double-edged sword. On one hand you may fall into the trap of the guy thinking why propose when he's already got the girl, then on the other hand I feel like you don't really know a person until you've lived with them.
H and I didn't live together before getting married and I wish we had.?
We moved in together about a month before we got engaged.
I don't care at all about anyone else.
DMoney will be a kickass big sister
aokiedokie
DH and i were engaged for almost a year and a half before we got an apartment together. we moved in about 8 months before our wedding.
totally necessary, IMHO. i don't think you can really know someone until you've lived with them. the first year of marriage can be stressful enough without suddenly discovering all the weird living quirks of your SO....
If my first husband and I had LTBM, we never would have gone thru with it and it would have saved a lot of grief. We didn't b/c we were young and parents didn't approve. This time around DH and I did for geography's sake and it worked out beautifully.
DH and I have been together since we were 18 and I felt the same wayabout #1 and #2. I'm not all about it and will probably encourage my children not to live together before marriage.
Almost exactly this, except DH and I only dated for about 4 months.
My dad really didn't care though about us living together, because he has always lived with his gf's, and all ended up breaking up after 2-3 yrs of dating. Good thing he never married them. His wife now (2nd wife) and him dated for 2 yrs, moved in together for 2.5 yrs, and now have been married 2 yrs. I think you never truly know the person until you are around them 24/7, and know all their bad habits.
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This.
Lol, no seriously, we didn't live together and I don't think it's a good idea if you're interested in living a life that's pleasing to God. Clearly that's not everybody's priority.