Help me decide: Is A Post-Baby Shower OK?

MrsBeckO · April 2009

So my sister and the wonderful CJ are hosting a shower for me in July, and my 2 SIL's have told us they would like to host one for as well (for that side of the family and the church folks). Originally the plan was to have it in late June/early July, but none of the dates worked for me and for them.. they've both said any earlier than late June won't work so now they want to do it in October -- when Camryn will be 4 or 5 weeks old.?At first I wasn't opposed to it, so I told them that would be fine (we just discussed it yesterday), but the more I think about, the more I worry.

This is our first baby, there's a VERY good chance we will still be trying to find our?rhythm?at 4 weeks old. And not getting sleep! I'm also worried about taking her into a large group of people (when she is so young) who will all want to pass her around, ick. She'll be eating every 3 hours (or more) so I will have to leave the group at some point to nurse/feed her. My final concern is that with this being our first, there are a lot of baby things we need and may not be able to wait til she's 5 weeks old to purchase (yet they've already told me to stop buying things).?

Should I tell them I think its a bad idea, or should I just stop worrying about it and go with the flow? Would you have wanted to attend a shower when your first born was only 4ish weeks old? ?

Bookworm75 · April 2009

I think you'll have a lot figured out by 4wks! You'll be surprised at how fast you figure it out. Sounds like they'll need to throw you a "Sip-n-See" since the party will be after the baby is born instead of before. I think having her in a room full of people is ok as long as no one is sick (ie coughing and sneezing) and just have them wash their hands before they touch her. It's really hard to say how you'll feel until you're there, but you will need to get the things you need now rather than wait. Maybe you can return items you get if you already have them and just get store credit and get other items you need.... just an idea.

mcurban · April 2009

Is August not an option?

At one month old, we weren't getting any sleep. But, fwiw- we weren't getting any sleep for the first 6 months! Yes, you will probably be tired, but the excitement of the day will certainly get your through.

Passing around- have your hosts remind the guests to wash their hands. Usually women are pretty good at this when holding new babies. Also, if you are planning to bf, DC's immunity will be pretty high. We took Jack on a family trip at 5 weeks and he was around 50+ people for a week. He was fine.

Nursing- it is what it is. You might at that point feel comfy nursing in front of folks at that point (especially if it's a group of women). BUT, if you need to excuse yourself- do it!

Baby things- you could TOTALLY leave things off your registry now that you know you won't use until later and then ADD them on after your first shower (I'm thinking high chair, bumbo, crib bedding, bouncer, stroller/ carrier, etc).

At the end of the day, you (the collective YOU, not YOU as in "BeckO") won't know what life if going to be like @ 4-5 weeks. Could be a great time for a shower, could be an awful time for a shower. I say, IF there's no other weekend (like ABSOLUTELY no other weekend) go for it so that this side of the family and church friends can celebrate w/ you!

naclh2otaffy · April 2009

Is it local? If so, I wouldn't see too many problems with it. My showers were canceled since I was on bedrest, but the one DH's coworkers threw for us was rescheduled for November. So I guess Babytaffy was maybe four or five weeks old when it occurred. I dressed him cute, people oohed and aahed over him, and I was happy to pass him around. I even remember sitting on the couch and nursing him at least once during the shower - I just used my drape and it was fine.

smb29 · April 2009

I had a similar dilemma with my family b/c my parents are going away for the summer. We ended up doing it early instead, but I would have done a post baby shower no problem. If nothing works in August, then I think mc had a good idea - registering for things you'll need later for this post baby shower. And if you are concerned about germs, ask the hostesses to get a couple of bottles of antibacterial gel (they can even decorate them a little for the shower) and have them remind everyone to pass it around and be sure and not touch the baby unless they've used it or washed their hands, then you don't have to be the hand washing police.

Taytee · April 2009

If you are OK with not letting anyone guilt you into holding the baby - it's fine. I personally would not have been up for a party although we got out a lot with baby in the early days/weeks.

rssnlvr · April 2009

I don't know about 4-wks-old, but it sounds like this will be a sip-and-see, which are very common. My mom is hosting one for us after Ali gets here. I think we'll probably do it more like around 6 weeks. We actually talked about it this weekend...I tend to think of them as more "non-gift-giving" occasions... just a chance for friends to oooh and ahhh over your baby, but she said that she knows people will want to bring something and will ask where I'm registered, so it's good to still have some things on the list. I think the technique of adding some stuff after your other shower is a good one!

libbyann · April 2009

Here's my brand new mom POV...I think I'd be up for it, BUT not for more than 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. We've got things figured out, but I still get really worn down if I'm out for too long...I did have a c/s though, so I'm sure that plays a part. I nursed DS for the first time under the hooter hider this weekend and it was surprisingly comfortable...I'd be fine using it in public now.

My concern would be all the people wanting to hold her. We took DS to church on Easter Sunday (2 wks) and our pedi said to keep him covered the whole time. He said that for the first 8 weeks, they're still really susceptible to catching stuff because their immune system is so immature and they haven't had any shots. He said they really like to keep them sequestered until they're 8 weeks. He gave me the go-ahead to go out in public, as long as DS wasn't being passed around..I'm not sure if that's being overly cautious or not, but having a group full of people all wanting to hold him would make me uncomfortable.

Maybe you could talk to your friend and have her do a diaper shower or a gift-card shower? That way you wouldn't have to worry about not having the stuff you need when your DD arrives. Just a thought

ryansbride05 · April 2009

We are going to have one hosted by my MIL in the Woodlands. Originally, she said she wanted to do it 2-3 weeks after he is born, but I told her I need a minimum of 4-5 weeks. She decided to do it after his birth because none the dates that worked for her worked for me too. I have the same reservations you have, but I am just going to try to relax about it and make my DH be the one to make it clear that if the baby and I need to take a break to feed, etc., that is our right and everyone just has to get over it.

As for the issue about needing most of the stuff before he is born, I had to get a little creative. After our regular shower, I chose a few things that I know we will not need for a while (i.e. the Baby Einstein exersaucer) and took them back with the gift receipts to exchange for other things that we need right away or gift cards. So, those things went back on my registry and we may or may not get them at the post-baby shower. If we don't we'll use the gift cards to buy them ourselves later. I felt a little guilty for doing this, but really, those things were going to sit in the box for at least another few months without getting any use at all, when were several things, like the monitor and travel system, that we need before he gets here. I was careful not to do this with any gifts that the giver might have a reason to see our registry again or notice that we don't have their gifts if they come over.

I'll let you know in June how our post-baby shower goes so you can prepare yourself more!

kiarox2002 · April 2009

We are having a post-baby shower that my step-mother is throwing us because my step-sister did not have any available weekends in May and I can't travel that far (Houston) after 34 weeks. ?I had really mixed feelings about this for a variety of reasons, but I think it will end up working best for us. ?We are planning to have it when the baby is about 6 weeks old. ?

2H2L · April 2009

We just had one yesterday.

It was meant to be a meet&greet, but everyone still brought gifts since we hadn't gotten to have a shower earlier. I think it was great and everyone got to ooh and aah over the baby and we weren't quite the zombies we were during the first month. I vote go for it.

abbysmom1005 · April 2009

I would be ok with it, except I would probably ask her to push it back a few weeks. If she is planning it for 4 weeks pp and you end up over due, that could mean only 2-3 weeks pp. I would not ant to do it that early. I would ask for it to be planned around 6 weeks pp minimum probably (then if you are overdue it is still 4 -5 week pp)

I think MC's idea about registering is a great one.

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