MOTHER IN LAW/BABY SEX DRAMA

MsMoseley · April 2009

My mother in law is getting on my lassssttttttt nerve! She is soooooo convinced I am going to have a little boy, and she is already making preparations for "him". I cannot stand this,because it shouldnt matter what the sex of the baby is as long as its healthy. Also, she is telling ME what kind of diapers I am going to use, what kind of crib I am going to get, she tells me the baby wont be using a binky (pacifier)....ARE U F**KIN KIDDING ME???? Whats a nice way of saying...back the f*** off....??? This isnt her baby....my hubby told her once, lets see if that sticks...but Im really annoyed.

Rogue Lily · April 2009

I think "Back off" works just fine.

mrs_sherod · April 2009

Wow, that does suck. Try to talk to her about how she felt being pregnant and someone tellng her what she will and won't do. Really, she's just trying to help, but her approach is all wrong. Yes

icybubbles85 · April 2009

i'm right there with ya, i told my husband the first time his mom calls me and says, "hows my baby" shes gettin punched in the throat

cleigh11 · April 2009

Does she live close by? That would drive my nuts! I would just tell her that while you appreciate her insight, love and support, this is your baby. You would be happy with either a healthy baby boy OR girl and you'd appreciate it if she would wish for a healthy baby too! Then let her know that unless she plans on buying all of your diapers and crib etc, she can shut her smelly mouth:-) JK

I would ask your hubby to be stern with her, too! It may be a little easier than you getting upset.

GL!

magdusia · April 2009

poor you! i have some difficulties w/ mine also, but not so bad! sucks!

Try to kindly tell her that you and her son would like for her to limit her opinions b/c you already have ideas for YOUR baby.

if that doesnt work... ignore her and just get what ever you want.

why do inlaws have to be so difficulat! i love my mom.. she doenst interfear in my and my husbands life at all.. but yet, my husband thinks she's too quite lol.. so i guess either way you're screwed

magdusia · April 2009

icybubbles85:
i'm right there with ya, i told my husband the first time his mom calls me and says, "hows my baby" shes gettin punched in the throat

haha! Yes

scisson · April 2009

THERE IS NO EASY WAY, TRUST MY FIRST DAUGHTER I DID TELL HER AND SHE DIDNT COME TO OUR HOUSE OR CALL THE HOUSE, AND SHE DIDNT SPEAK TO ME FOR 7 MONTHS. ALL I WANTED WAS SOMETIME WITH MY NEW FAMILY AND SHE STARTED TAKING OVER, I LOST IT. BUT NOW MY OLDEST IS 7 1/2 AND WE GET ALONG GREAT! MY SECOND ONE, NO IN-LAWS ARE PRESENT THEY ALL LIVE OUT OF STATE AND IT IS SO PEACEFUL. EXCEPT FOR MY DH WHO IS GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE!!!LOL. GOOD LUCK

Kitt_LeFang · April 2009

i've been in the same boat with overbearing in laws!! The best advice i have with my experience is to have you and your husband sit down with her and calmly set some boundaries and right away! Remind her this is your baby and she can not just take over cause she's "grandma". This is to be an experience between you and your husband not every member in the family needs to be involved all the time.

I suggest the book Boundries, it will really help set some boundries between you two and for you to take a nice polite but FIRM stance with her. And your husband should be involved so that she knows you and your husband are both on the same page.

SmallandNeedy · April 2009

scisson:
THERE IS NO EASY WAY, TRUST MY FIRST DAUGHTER I DID TELL HER AND SHE DIDNT COME TO OUR HOUSE OR CALL THE HOUSE, AND SHE DIDNT SPEAK TO ME FOR 7 MONTHS. ALL I WANTED WAS SOMETIME WITH MY NEW?FAMILY AND SHE STARTED TAKING OVER, I LOST IT. BUT NOW MY OLDEST IS 7 1/2 AND WE GET ALONG GREAT! MY SECOND ONE, NO IN-LAWS ARE PRESENT THEY ALL LIVE OUT OF STATE AND IT IS SO PEACEFUL. EXCEPT FOR MY DH WHO IS GETTING ON MY LAST NERVE!!!LOL. GOOD LUCK

?Holy caps.?

sparkle990 · April 2009

This is what I mastered saying by the end of my first pregnancy, "I'm glad that is what worked for you, we'll be trying different things with our child." Most of the time they are trying to give you advice - but it's done in an overbearing/rude way. Good luck!

PS It's amazing what people say to you when pregnant. It's like an open invitation for people to be rude!

nadiarl · April 2009

I have been wondering why in-laws do this. Maybe they feel like they will otherwise be left out. The woman's mom is usually cool because she knows she will be included because she is close to her daughter, but MIL worries that new mom will not include her. Oh well, it is no fun to deal with pushy people, especially ILs.

EnglishMajor03 · April 2009

I'd just let H deal with it. I dont' have a great relationship with my MIL, nor would she act like your MIL, but if she did I would put him on the case. It's his mom and honsetly, he needs to support you, which to me, means, taking care of this ridiculousness :P

getnmarried910 · April 2009

I can totally relate! My MIL wanted a girl so badly with our first. We didn't share the sex, and when we asked what her guess was, she said (and I quote-absolutely NO exaggeration) "I think it's a boy and I've never been wrong. But I want a girl so I really hope I am this time. I don't want a boy." So far, she 0-2 with our kids. She thought DS would be a girl.

You may just have to be firm with her. My IL's were very opinionated on my decision to exclusively BF (because then they couldn't feed her because I used bottles as rarely as possible), that I chose to stay home, that we wouldn't share the names we chose, that I don't let them touch my belly (I HATE it with a passion), that we wouldn't let her buy the travel system that she wanted because it was cheaper and she didn't like the one we picked out. The list could go on and on. I truly feel for you. My MIL and I had it out 2 days before my baby shower. Honestly, best thing I have ever done. I put my foot down. We've had a lot of BIG bumps along the way, but she's learning that she is NOT the parent, we are and she doesn't get a say in how they are raised...but it's taking a LOT of work.

epopp85 · April 2009

I know where you're coming from. My MIL didn't care so much about the sex, but the words, "I'm pregnant." had barely left my mouth before she started jumping down my throat about making sure that bf and take vitamins etc. It took alll of my self control to keep from telling her to fvck off!!

At least you're DH is backing you up. Mine was all, "yeah, yeah!" I almost killed him in the car on the way home...

GreenEyedGal · April 2009

Yeah, my MIL is convinced I'm having a boy too, which annoys me for some reason. I guess because when she first found out I was pregnant, she said she hopes I have a girl, so now is she going to be dissapointed if I have a boy???

vegemom302 · April 2009

Ugh that would drive me crazy! Sorry you're having to deal with that.

Hoax · April 2009

My SIL is the opinionated one. The moment she found out that we are pregnant, she announced that its a boy. I had to be firm when I spoke with her and said that both me and DH don't care about the sex, we just want a healthy baby which shut her up.

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