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2nd Trimester
My mom wants me to buy everything used for my first baby
I'm not the type to spend $1000 on a crib, I'm actually pretty frugal. But, since this is my first baby I would prefer to buy the big things new so they can last through 2-3 kids (hopefully).
My mom is very upset with me that I went and bought a jumper for $75 new when she found the same thing on Craig's List for $25 used. I said $50 isn't enough of a savings for me to buy it used when I may need to buy a second one for baby #2 down the road...
How do you handle this with your parents? Anyone else going through the same thing?
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Re: My mom wants me to buy everything used for my first baby
"How do you handle this with your parents?"
Unless they are buying the things/raising your child, who cares what she thinks? It's not her choice or decision. Just tell her that it's not a big deal to you and there are certain things you want new. It's not her concern.
My MIL is great for buying used stuff. I just encouraged her to buy used to keep at her house so it will be less stuff for us to haul over there. It seemed to work out well.
It's pretty easy with my mom- I tell her no and that theres not a discussion for it and she shuts up. But we have that type of a relationship that I could tell her to shut up and she wouldn't be offended.
Now... I did buy the crib & changing table off craigslist... only because I saved $250!
It looks brand NEW! My mom talked about the stroller and all that. She wanted to go to garage sales to find them. I just told her...that i found a pattern I like for all that stuff and it's on my registry. It's my choice! Know what I mean?! 
If she wants to get that off craigslist...then good for her. She can keep it at her house for when she watches the baby!
Stand your ground... it's your baby and I think everyone should get to enjoy buying stuff for their first baby!
Hugs,
Ashley
We are getting items new, too. I have done a ton of bargain hunting online though. If we were really strapped for cash I would buy used, but it doesn't make any sense for us to go used since we want more than one baby, too.
Besides, you don't know how it was cared for before it became yours. That's what I always worry about with cribs, carseats, etc.
If you can afford new, why not?
My Mom doesn't comment on what I choose to want or buy for my baby. If she did, I'd tell her that I don't want to buy all used things.
I am pretty frugal too (and broke right now!) so I can't afford to spend $600 on a crib either and you don't have to. There are plenty of options out there that cost much less. My crib is $150 new and has great reviews.
We were "gifted" a crib from my cousin who already has two girls and isn't planning on having any more. We paid them $50 anyway, that way I could consider it my own, instead of something she could possibly want to regift or the like. Only problem was it is a light wood crib and our furniture is dark wood.
After it sitting in pieces in the baby's room, DH and I found another crib, that is dark wood, and snatched it up. I told my mother and she thought it was ridiculous we got another crib, when we had a perfectly good, non-matching one already...
I just stopped telling people what I was buying. It's none of their business, really, anyhow. And I'm "gifting" the lighter wood crib to a family friend who is due the same week I am.
I can certainly understand wanting to buy most things new for your baby, especially your first. And, I think things like cribs, car seats, etc. are best to buy new.
But, I will say that things like Bumbo's, exersaucers, swings, etc. are used for such a short amount of time, that buying it used (or borrowing form someone if possible) really is a good idea. And, because those larger items are easily cleaned and generally very sturdy, they will most likely last through a few children anyway.
But, you are not 'wrong' in buying stuff new if that's what you are comfortable with. Just saying that it might be wise to save while you can, because you get so much stuff when you have a new baby, but a lot of the big gifts stop once the baby becomes a toddler, and THAT is when you need the money to buy all the other stuff older kids need/want (bed, clothes, bike, etc)
I have this problem too, but not with my mom - it's with a friend of mine.
I have said that I am not buying anything at this point - just registering for stuff for my showers. Anything that we don't receive from others, we will look and see if we can get it used - but if others want to buy it new for us, then that's great!
Some things I can imagine myself buying used, but other things just seem better new.
Can you blame it some on the DH? like, "I know, but DH is picky and wants everything new since we might use it again for another baby." - just so its not so "you against her"? We regularly use each other as scapegoats, lol.
You could also blame it on hormones or something. "Ever since I got pg i've just been grossed out by anything used thats not just wood or metal" - this is halfway true for me. Only thing I'll buy used at this point is a changing table since I know I can wipe it down and all. Something about fabric items you can't throw in the wash or sterilize that a stranger did god-knows-what with is just not something I wanna put near my brand new baby! Even just leaving stuff in the basement can easily grow mold on them.
HeHe...my mom started out that way. She found a glider and ottoman for '$50 obo" on Craigslist. She was so impressed with herself for finding such a great deal. It was cute to watch her gloat about it. However when the seller never contacted her back, we went over to BRU and she fell in love with the most expensive Dutailier glider on the showroom floor. She insisted that we needed that model, I said "mom...it's $500"
Before my eyes, she turned into a child trying to negotiate for a toy, "But Alyssa, feel how comfortable it is" and "How about for your birthday?"
We walked out of there after dropping $700 on a glider ottoman combo...she had the biggest grin on her face. Mom's can be an interesting character sometimes. She would have NEVER spent that much money on a single chair...I think being that this is the first grandchild has gone to her head.
I'm getting pretty much everything used. Mostly from my sister and SIL so not quite like Craigslist but I will get a couple things from Garage sales and Craigslist. I do however understand the want to get things new that are the heavily used items. I'll probably also re-cover a few things that my sister gave me.?
It's a personal preference. Tell her you want what you want and aren't apologizing for it.?
Honestly when it comes to baby stuff used is the way to go. I got most of my stuff for DD used and it will be used again with this baby. Baby's are not "rough" on things like we might be and most everything is in really good condition used. We had a used crib, carseat (from family), excasaucer, changing table...The only big thing we bought new was the swing because she hated the front to back swing.
Save your money for diapers...your going to need it.
Don't sweat it.
My mom doesn't say anything at all and loves all of the baby stuff.
My in-laws on the other hand... They did me a favor and picked up my BOB Revolution stroller at REI the other day (we had paid for it and had it mailed to the store near their house to save the $75 shipping). Anyway, they made comments ALL DAY during easter about "gosh...how could you spend $399 on a stroller" and blah blah blah. DH and I are big runners so a nice running stroller was a priority. We just ignored them. We can afford it, we love it, and it is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS.
Ignore ignore ignore
.
We're planning on buying virtually everything used. Baby stuff just doesn't get scuffed or damaged enough to justify paying for new. I do plan on using a lot of the used stuff for multiple children as well.
But, that should be your choice, not your moms. Just tell her that you're not comfortable with the used route and that should be enough. Besides if no one bought new, there would be nothing for us used goods shoppers to buy
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
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Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
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Its your money. Why does it matter to her how you spend it?
Our first child will have mostly used. I doubt it matters to the baby, it only really matters how the parents feel. If you want used buy used, if you want new buy new. I don't think one is better than the other.
I bought a mix of new and consigned stuff for my first. They outgrow everything so quickly that it's very gently used. It's a personal opinion but if I could do it over again I would get mostly consignment stuff b/c you don't use jumpers, bouncers,etc for very long. I am not on a tight budget but I save money when I can. Kids are so expensive so why not save when you can. that being said I did spend on a crib and really nice furniture.
I am sure that my used stuff will make it thru baby #2.