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Working Moms: I am feeling so overwhelmed.
I love that I work. I do. I am fulfilled by my job and it makes me a better mother that I can go to work everyday and help provide for him. But, sometimes I just feel SO overwhelmed with everything I do in a day. Sometimes I feel like it gives me a short fuse where I need not have one. But, most the time, I feel guilty for not being with Joe enough, not being with DH enough, not being there for my friends enough....I feel like I let everyone down and then I get mad at everyone for expecting too much of me (feeling bad and mad at the same time is a clusterf*ck if I ever heard of one) I have also had a cold for like a month now and I can't shake it. Oh, I went to a party a couple weekends ago for some friends who had just bought a new house and got a little bit of an anxiety attack because I just didn't know what to talk about with everyone bc I only think in two frames, Mom or Lawyer. I dont' know if that makes sense at all....but I am just overwhelmed.
Anyway, this is sort of a ramble.....but sometimes I just feel a little unglued and wanted some sympathy or someone to commiserate with.
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Re: Working Moms: I am feeling so overwhelmed.
If it makes you feel any better I am at home and completely overwhelmed. I completely understand how you feel even though our days are very different, they all end the in the same place - overwhelmed and wondering if you are doing the right thing.
I feel dumped on because I am doing the housework, unpacking, attempting to get things where they need to be, all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, taking two on-line credit course and just started a program online for a certification all with my one year old home full time. My dh works 12-hour shifts and has been working 7 on 1 off on rotating schedule - that means I am alone in this and tip toeing around his sleeping schedule. I'm physically and mentally drained - somedays I wonder how I am going to get up and do it all again. I'm supposed to be finishing our taxes right now and working on finances - I can not focus. Aidan is eating a snack and all I can think is that I wish I could throw on some running shoes and get out for a few minutes completely alone and run but I can not remember the last time I even had 30 mins to myself.
MGR and Karey, I sympathize with you both. I'm in the same boat as far as feeling overwhelmed massively right now, but for totally different reasons. I'm trying to get my organizing business up and running, prepare for a bridal market for a business collective I'm in which will be showcasing all of our businesses, working for my mom, keeping a 13 month old entertained when she's not napping (which, thank God literally, is for 2-3 hours straight every day), keeping up the house, and contemplating whether to take on another part-time business on the side to bring in some extra money while my organizing business gets going. Plus, the million other things that us moms have to do ~ our "to do" list ~ on daily basis. The things on my daily list are minor, like "write check for Char's summer tuition for MDO" and things like that, but they all add up and get incredibly overwhelming when you pair them with the big things.
I don't have any advice because I feel the same way, and I'm not even really working! I think we all just have so much on our plates that it's nearly impossible to focus on ourselves and what WE need to function. MGR, although I don't work really, I'm out of the house all day every day as if I do (I'm at my mom's), so when I get home, I can empathize with how you must feel ~ you have to get your baby fed, bathed, and to bed, then you have to eat dinner, then focus on the million other chores that went neglected during the day. I totally understand that. And you're exhausted by 9 pm, but can't really go to bed until later, and then you don't get enough sleep, and then when do you fit in things like working out....yeah. It's enough to drive even the sanest momma crazy!
Also like you, I've had back to back illnesses (right now I'm dealing with some sort of a stomach thing, while although relatively minor, is making me feel just crappy enough), and I'm SO DONE. We've had enough illness (stomach viruses, colds, bacterial/sinus infections) in my family over the past few months to last us a lifetime. BOO.
I hope we can all get some rest and sanity back, especially since Mother's Day is coming up!
whether you work or SAH, being a mother comes with so many emotions and so much baggage. i am going to have a baby with in the next couple weeks and my house is a wreck, the nursery is incomplete, the cosleeper is full of clothes and laundry and cat hair so i can't even say "well, at least he'll sleep in my room for a couple months." as of 3 pm today i am going to have 2 dining room tables in my tiny house and no idea when or where i am going to unload the old one. if i was working, i would say i am at work. because i am home, i have a lot of pressure to get things done around here. this is different than work pressure, but stress is stress.
i'm not saying you shouldn't feel bad, but this is part and parcel of parenthood. we all turn around and realize we have friends we've neglected. i have over 200 emails in my inbox and many are friends who i should have responded to months ago. the good part is, good friends understand. and if something really, honestly, truly has to get done, it will. and more kids grow up with working parents than SAH parents and they all do fine. my mom working made such an impression on me in a positive way (and she was a single parent so didn't have much choice) taht i am embarassed that i stay home sometimes.
in the end, my fave quote from Dr Sears: all your children are ever going to ask of you is that you do the best you can.
that changes from day to day, to be sure. but your love for your child won't change and that is what matters.
Thanks ladies. It is funny how it sounds like yall are yearning for a little bit of time away from your kids and the piles of laundry all over your houses and I am yearning to take a day off of work to go home and be with the kid and to get those piles of laundry cleaned
It is funny how perspectives are so different, yet so similar.
Karey, studying, unpacking and taking care of all the needs of your child sounds daunting!!! These babies can be furious little creatures can't they??
CCC, sounds like you are working VERY hard to me trying to get your business up and running and taking care of your child and the house. Don't sell yourself short!!!
V, all you need to do is get that cosleeper cleaned and you're set!! (don't worry about the other stuff...all a baby needs a crib, a boob, and a daiper, right???) Try and get some rest in while T is at school because soon enough...you won't be having anytime to rest. I love the quote from Dr. Sears. I so so so so so hope it is true.
I don't want to get away from it, actually enjoy getting all of it done and having him here all day with me - that is why I haven't started MDO yet. What I would love to have is a dh with a 'normal' schedule so that I would be able to schedule in time for a 30 minute work out, get a pedicure or get a haircut. As of right now there is no opportunity for that.
Oh shoot, I didn't mean to offend you! I meant that it sounds like we could all use a break from our busy schedules. And super kudos to you for doing it all while your DH is away!! That to me is like working 3 jobs!! (SAHM, dad, & student)
And I agree with you about the haircut....I need to get mine recolored so bad, but where's the time?!?
The internet is so bad for conversations sometimes - I'm not offended at all so please don't you offended me in any way! I am very overwhelmed today as well and I actually think it is great to get other perspectives on it. I think we are all over-worked and under-appreciated :-)
Oh, I know this feeling all too well. ?If you stepped into my house right now I'd be horrified by the state of it. ?I feel like I can never get caught up. ?I work all day, DH works even longer hours, and then the 3 hours I have at home with Orion in the evenings is devoted solely to him. ?I feel like I need to be giving him 100% of my attention since that's the only real time we have together all day. ?That means no cleaning, no dishes, often no cooking. ?Just lots of playing and tending to his needs. ?Then, after he goes to bed I have about 2 hours of "me time" and I certainly don't want to spend them doing chores.
The way we've chosen to handle it is just to let go of the idea of clean house. ?We keep it sanitary of course but the floor isn't picked up and the laundry is left in piles for the weekend. ?We also have not made many friends since we moved here. ?Our evenings and weekends are devoted to spending time with Orion. ?We haven't had the time or energy to cultivate friendships. ?Maybe some day.