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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Stillbirth/going back to work?
First, a thanks to everyone on this board. I've found it incredibly helpful these past few weeks.
We found out our first baby had no heartbeat a few weeks ago at 37 weeks, and she was delivered March 22, a beautiful baby girl named "Hope".
For anyone else who had a stillbirth, when did you return to work?
Just wondering how long others of you waited. Also, if you did go back... can you let me know how that was for you (both emotionally / physically??)
Just curious, as I started back yesterday (Apr. 6th). Support has been wonderful from all staff, coworkers.. yet I'm physically very, very tired...
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Re: Stillbirth/going back to work?
I delivered Patrick on a Thursday, and went back to work on Monday. there wasn't much communication from my doctor and I really wasn't sure what to do, so I decided t just go back.
I do wish I would have taken a few more days off, as that Wednesday I had a bit of a breakdown and called in, but it also helped, for me, to get back into a normal routine and keep my mind occupied. it has gotten easier as time has gone on. (Tomorrow will be 3 weeks).
My losses were earlier - in the 21st week. After the second loss, I stayed off work for 4 weeks. I just didn't want to "face" anyone other than my DH. I started back with half days, and I think that really helped me emotionally. I was physically totally healed by that time, so I can't offer any advice on that.
Considering the tiredness, that's definitely to be expected. Grief requires a lot of our brain power. It is definitely exhausting. Just remember to take it easy and not expect too much of yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my prayers.
We lost our baby boy at 30 weeks an March 10th of this year. I had an ER C-section - completely unexpected. I teach 8th grade and am still off. I plan to return in about 2 weeks - at the 6 week mark. I am just not ready to go back yet, plus my doctor advised me not to go back until my 6 week check-up. Physically, I feel fine, just a little tired, but emotionally the grief truly is draining. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions. What type of work do you do? I often think that it will be a little easier once I can return to a "normal" schedule. Good luck to you, Jen
My daughter was delivered close to 41 weeks. I suffered a 4th degree laceration delivering her and was in terrible pain for weeks after. I returned to work after 7 weeks. I mostly worked from home and then gradually returned to the office more.
The best part of it was having idiots walk up to me and ask how the little one was doing. So yes, emotionally, it was a nightmare.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Take off as much time as you can. I went back to work 4 weeks after the death of my newborn daughter and now I feel like I rushed it and wished I had taken off at least 6 weeks.
Wow, you went back to work quick.
I went back to work exactly 6 weeks after my c/s. It was so hard driving there at the beginning because I felt empty... I thought, "so this is it? i go on maternity leave, my baby dies, and now I'm returning to work?" it was so hard emotionally.
My boss and my co-workers were so supportive... they tried anything to make me laugh, to keep me busy to keep my thoughts away from grief. Physically I was so exhausted and tired and still in pain. They helped me around the office, they didn't let me lift anything heavy, they were very helpful.
However, after a few months it was getting really hard emotionally. So I seeked for help... I began group therapy, and individual sessions with a psych and therapist... By this time I was completely emotionally and physically devastated. I realized that I went back to work too soon trying to avoid grief, and that was not a good idea... I had to take more time to heal on both ends, so my doctor put me on meds and took me off work.
It was probably the best I had done since losing my son. I finally begin to accept his death. I haven't moved on but I can say that we're okay.
Happily Married DH on 11/11/06
*My life revolves around a bunch of boys!*
Proud Mommy to these angels:
TP - Lost baby & my tube 10/12/14;
MM at 13 wks - March 2007 &
Rainbow babies:I am so sorry for your loss.
Isaac was born alive at 36 1/2 weeks via c-section. I went back to work after 6 weeks. Both physically and emotionally, there was no way I would have been ready before that.
I am a teacher, and returning to work was very, very hard. I teach middle school students, and they were made aware of what happened (thanks to our school guidance counselors) before I returned. It has been hard to be so "on" every day in front of them.
Support from co-workers has varried. Some teachers I co-teach with have been awesome. Others, including my principal, have said NOTHING to me about it.
It's a process. I am just glad I am on spring break and that there will be only 8 more weeks in the school year after our break. I need the summertime to get here!
Thank you for your responses... It has helped getting an idea of the time you all needed.
I am an elementary teacher... and it looks like a few of your are teachers as well. Like you said-- in teaching you need to be so "on" ... so maybe my going back full swing this week at 2 weeks after was a bit early... as I'm feeling more emotional in the evenings now... since I'm really on "autopilot" this week..
Work is good for me... yet maybe I need to scale back and do a few half days..?) going in in the am... and maybe coming home at 1 or so... take a nap... and rest for the next day a bit more...just until I feel a little more recovered...