2nd Trimester

s/o of Porn topic...

Not all men look at porn. My husband has never found it to be hot, he actually thinks it's trashy. We have not had sex since December... It's been 4 months and he never makes me feel bad about it. He never asks or even brings it up in a way where I feel guilty. THIS is what I feel is normal.

 

 

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Re: s/o of Porn topic...

  • My husband looks at porn when I'm not around and it doesn't bother me at all. I'm sure if it did bother me he'd stop. I've looked at it a few times but just find it hysterical and have no interest in it. That's normal for us.
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  • But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...
  • Thank you for saying this.  My DH is exactly the same way... he thinks it's trashy.  Sometimes I'm the one who wants to watch a porn to get in the mood & change things up a bit, but he only agrees to it once in a while.

    Just because all the guys you have ever been with watch it... doesn't mean there aren't guys who don't care for it.

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  • Yes

    I can honestly say that in 7 years, we have never had this issue. The only time porn has been introduced into our home...I was offering up a naughty movie for BOTH DH and I. DH never makes me feel anything but beautiful in bed, big ol' belly or not. I love my DH!

    ETA::I should add that while I love that this NOT an issue for us, if I was not in the mood, and DH felt the need to "take care of himself" (as the OP put it) I wouln't be upset. 

     

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  • imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

  • DH is not interested in porn at all. My gf all that was the weirdest thing, plus he hates strip clubs.

    I know guys watch porn though, I have all guy friends. DH is just an exception to that rule. 

  • Mine doesn't look at porn either.  We've mostly been enjoying ourselves since my BFP, but there are times when I just can't stay awake.

    If there was a medical reason not to, he wouldn't be upset, he would be really supportive.  I think in that case I would WANT him to enjoy some porn, but he wouldn't.

    We haven't gotten near seventeen times in a week, though.

  • imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

  • I'll have to go find where this topic started...

    But DH doesn't watch porn.  I don't know if he masterbates though.  Honestly, I would feel bad if he wasn't!  We used to have sex everyday and now he is lucky if he gets it once a week.

    Besides, masterbation is something that everyone should do. Smile

  • imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     It's ok if you don't believe that. Our husbands are different.

  • my bf doesnt look at porn either...Im normally the one saying lets watch a movie to change things up as well...but I wouldnt be mad if he wanted to...he doesnt like it as well...but I always kinda wonder if guys just say that to make us feel better or actually dont like to look at that stuff????
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  • imageMrs.Foreste:

    Thank you for saying this. My DH is exactly the same way... he thinks it's trashy. Sometimes I'm the one who wants to watch a porn to get in the mood & change things up a bit, but he only agrees to it once in a while.

    Just because all the guys you have ever been with watch it... doesn't mean there aren't guys who don't care for it.

    Ditto.

  • imageLillyBug923:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     It's ok if you don't believe that. Our husbands are different.

    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

  • Thank you for posting this.  I agree not ALL men look at porn.  As I replied in the original post, it is not fair to stereotype men in that way.  People are individuals, even men.
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  • imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     It's ok if you don't believe that. Our husbands are different.

    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

    Are you kidding me? You are attacking me because my husband doesn't like to watch porn and masterbate? Grow up.

  • imagefall_bride_2004:
    Thank you for posting this.  I agree not ALL men look at porn.  As I replied in the original post, it is not fair to stereotype men in that way.  People are individuals, even men.

    Exactly!! Not saying that he's never seen porn, or been to a strip club. But it's not something he enjoys.

  • imageLillyBug923:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     It's ok if you don't believe that. Our husbands are different.

     

    My husband is the same - he has no interest in masturbation. He says it's just not appealing to him (I actually tend to feel the same way). He's not into porn - he says all he thinks about is that that girl is some guy's daughter... he can't get into it, which is fine for me!!!

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  • imageLillyBug923:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     It's ok if you don't believe that. Our husbands are different.

    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

    Are you kidding me? You are attacking me because my husband doesn't like to watch porn and masterbate? Grow up.

    I'm sorry you are feeling attacked, you have to understand that some people may not find it normal and/or believable that your husband hasn't had sex and/or masturbated in four months.  Not a big deal, I'll let it go.

  • afgafg member

    This is not an issue in our home. 

    I don't think all men watch porn

  • My DH subscribes to Playboy and was actually going to discontinue the subscription a few months ago but I urged him to keep it, at least another year. I know he enjoys looking at it (which is fine by me) and as long as it's not out in the open where company and the children can find it/see it I have no problem with it.

    He also has several DVD's but I can't even remember the last time he watched them. 

  • imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

    Ummm, I don't think that's true - there is no need for a specialist here just because a guy doesn't need to get himself off. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you a specialist of some sort? Do you have medical information on this? My DH is a physician and says that your opinion is BS.

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  • My DH watches porn occasionally, but often times, it backfires, because he gets frustrated with it, wants me instead. 

    But he works 3rd shift, so I don't think he would survive without porn - lol - there are times where we literally just DON'T see each other for a week other than in passing, him on his way in from work and me on my way out.

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  • imageJewelzNBean:

    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

    Ummm, I don't think that's true - there is no need for a specialist here just because a guy doesn't need to get himself off. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you a specialist of some sort? Do you have medical information on this? My DH is a physician and says that your opinion is BS.

    You are being silly.  I didn't state facts, it's my opinion.  If my DH didn't have an orgasm for 4 months I would be worried, that's all, you can calm down now :)

  • My DH doesnt like normal porn either...he watches videos of us, hehe.

    I think lots of men find traditional porn trashy but that doesnt mean they dont masterbate.  He could easily be masterbating to a picture of you.

    There is such a stigma attached to masterbation and I dont understand why. 

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  • I think all men masturbate but not all men look at porn.

    I highly doubt mine does. I've never asked and would not be upset if he did, but honestly it's not his thing. But I'm sure he's "taken care of himself" from time to time.

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  • imageJewelzNBean:

    Ummm, I don't think that's true - there is no need for a specialist here just because a guy doesn't need to get himself off. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you a specialist of some sort? Do you have medical information on this? My DH is a physician and says that your opinion is BS.

    "One research study, by the Cancer Council Victoria, has shown that men who report that they regularly ("more than five times per week") masturbate have up to one third fewer occurrences of prostate cancer. The researchers hypothesize that this could be because regular ejaculation reduces the buildup of carcinogenic deposits such as 3-methylcholanthrene, produced from the breakdown of cholesterol, which could damage the cells lining the prostate. The researchers also speculated that frequent ejaculation may cause the prostate to mature fully, making it less susceptible to carcinogens."

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12887469

  • We've eliminated all pornography from our house. What with me reading erotic romance and him looking at it online, we came to the agreement long before my BFP that porn (all forms) was unhealthy for our relationship and gave each other unrealistic expectations in the bedroom... or any where else you might do it.

    My DH doesn't look at porn and I think it might upset me a bit if I caught him doing it- but I would talk/ask him about it before getting pissed off.

    But I'm all about masturbation... nothing wrong with that. If my DH didn't take care of himself when I'm going through a hormonal "dry" period and acting all frigid then I would worry. (Just don't lie to me abou it Wink)

  • Lets just say that my DH says he doesn't take care of himself, and maybe he doesn't. Maybe he does? I don't really care. However, unless you and your DH share the same body, you can not say for certain that he does not. Anyways, whatever works for the two of you I am all for it. As long as you are happy and he is, no harm done.
  • imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     

    Wow, even for me 4 months is a long time to go with getting off. But I understand with medical issues for pregnant women, some times you have to do that. I do think some guys are shy about admitting they masturbate. My husband is a little shy about it, but admits he does it. He just doesn't advertise to me when he does it. Maybe your husband isn't comfortable admitting it.

  • Wow, I'm surprised at how many husband's aren't into this.  My DH and I used to buy DVD's together and watch them when we're feeling in that mood.  Not every time, but maybe 20% of the time we would watch.  Everyone's different though!  My sex drive is way down lately and I would be shocked if he isn't doing his thing! I wouldn't want him to get all built up, LOL.
  • imageSteffaniO:
    imageJewelzNBean:

    Ummm, I don't think that's true - there is no need for a specialist here just because a guy doesn't need to get himself off. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you a specialist of some sort? Do you have medical information on this? My DH is a physician and says that your opinion is BS.

    "One research study, by the Cancer Council Victoria, has shown that men who report that they regularly ("more than five times per week") masturbate have up to one third fewer occurrences of prostate cancer. The researchers hypothesize that this could be because regular ejaculation reduces the buildup of carcinogenic deposits such as 3-methylcholanthrene, produced from the breakdown of cholesterol, which could damage the cells lining the prostate. The researchers also speculated that frequent ejaculation may cause the prostate to mature fully, making it less susceptible to carcinogens."

    https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12887469

     This doesn't mean that masturbation is necessary. It says that it's good for guys to frequently ejaculate. If a guy, for some reason, goes for 4 months without it, it certainly doesn't mean that he's doomed for prostate cancer!!! Come on, ladies!!! Confused

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  • OK, thank you for this. There was a post topic a few weeks ago and someone during the thread claimed that 99% of guys definitely do watch porn. I was like, um... no.
  • imageDMBMamma:
    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

    He hasn't masturbated in FOUR MONTHS??  Okay.

     

    Wow, even for me 4 months is a long time to go with getting off. But I understand with medical issues for pregnant women, some times you have to do that. I do think some guys are shy about admitting they masturbate. My husband is a little shy about it, but admits he does it. He just doesn't advertise to me when he does it. Maybe your husband isn't comfortable admitting it.

    (My last comment on this b/c I think it's silly to debate my and my husband's sex lives on the internet with strangers)

    It's ok if some of you don't believe that it's possible for a man to go 4 months without masterbating. My husband has. We have a strong marriage, we have been together 5 years, and he has never lied to me before. I have no reason to suspect he's lying now. But, let's say all of you are right, and he did lie, and he actually masterbates all the time.... I said in the beginning that wouldn't bother me. That's not the issue for this post. I posted this just as a statement that not all men look at porn. They don't, as has been proven by the responses.

  • imageLillyBug923:

    Not all men look at porn. My husband has never found it to be hot, he actually thinks it's trashy. We have not had sex since December... It's been 4 months and he never makes me feel bad about it. He never asks or even brings it up in a way where I feel guilty. THIS is what I feel is normal.

     

     

    Thanks for saying this
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  • imageLillyBug923:

    Not all men look at porn. My husband has never found it to be hot, he actually thinks it's trashy. We have not had sex since December... It's been 4 months and he never makes me feel bad about it. He never asks or even brings it up in a way where I feel guilty. THIS is what I feel is normal.

     

     

    Thanks for saying this
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  • imageJewelzNBean:
     This doesn't mean that masturbation is necessary. It says that it's good for guys to frequently ejaculate. If a guy, for some reason, goes for 4 months without it, it certainly doesn't mean that he's doomed for prostate cancer!!! Come on, ladies!!! Confused

    I didn't say that it was necessary. I was just pointing out that there is in fact a health link, and I don't need a physician DH to back it up - just Google.

  • imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    imageJewelzNBean:

    imageTheMrs8/9/8:
    You're right, they are very different!  Masturbation is healthy FYI, you may want to get him in to see a specialist. I would be very worried if my husband hadn't had an orgasm for 4 months!

    Ummm, I don't think that's true - there is no need for a specialist here just because a guy doesn't need to get himself off. There is nothing wrong with that at all. Are you a specialist of some sort? Do you have medical information on this? My DH is a physician and says that your opinion is BS.

    You are being silly.  I didn't state facts, it's my opinion.  If my DH didn't have an orgasm for 4 months I would be worried, that's all, you can calm down now :)

    Umm I'm sorry, but IMO referring someone to a specialist because he does not meet your definition of "normal" is what is silly to me.

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  • imageWaitingForMyMiracle:

    we came to the agreement long before my BFP that porn (all forms) was unhealthy for our relationship and gave each other unrealistic expectations in the bedroom... or any where else you might do it.

    That's a really good point, and I believe to be true as well. FI and I have always had some minor issues in the bedroom, and watching that stuff just makes it worse because we try to be like them... and trust me, with two big chubby people going at it, up on the wall isn't possible... haha

  • imageLillyBug923:

    imageMommy2Gav:
    But do you think he shouldn't masterbate in those 4 months? I think that is way too much to ask of my husband...

     He hasn't. If he did, It wouldn't bother me... I just don't agree with the "all men look at porn" idea.

     

    I'm sorry to say but he more than likely has masturbated.   He probably feels guilty for it and maybe thinks you wouldn't approve.  No sex since December?!  I hope you have masturbated!!

  • The only time Nate looks at it is if I watch it with him.  Which is like, once in a blue moon.  It's just not our thing.  You could search through our home computer & there is not one link or picture of porn on it.

    Then again, I don't care if he masturbates.  At all.

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