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Stay at Home Moms
question about "child care"
I'm all set to be a SAHM once the LO gets here. DH and I are planning for the future and are budgeting for LO.
Do any of you plan on putting your LO in child care/mother's day out/head start programs a few days a week to help with development/social skills/ etc? If so, what age?
I've read articles stating that children in daycare are more ready for pre-K vs those who've stayed at home full time - in regards to social and developmental skills...but there are articles stating the opposite too.
I do worry that my decision to SAH for LO is a good one for her when she's a baby and needs constant attention but she may be behind in other areas because she'll lack the structure that daycare could give her.
thoughts?
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Re: question about "child care"
I started my kids in preschool when they were 4. Before then they were exposed to other kids through playgroups and the nursery at church /Sunday school.
My sister in law never socialized her child until her daugher started her first day of kindergarten...and she's doing great. So I don't think keeping them home is bad for them, but it's also great to socialize. I think either way is fine as long as your kids are exposed to a variety of activities (lots of crafts, learning games, large/fine motor activities etc.) so as long as they're active and learning, I don't know if it matters so much where they get it. I liked doing playgroups and stuff for my own sanity.
My DD won't be doing anything like that. This is her only opportunity to be home and be a kid, so that's what we're doing. We socialize by getting out of the house every day, park and pool, zoo, meeting w/family and friends, etc. As she gets older, we might to dance lessons or something too.
I also think this socialization concept for SAHMs is a recent phenomenon. With every situation there are pros and cons, including SAH.
chounTX I have been a SAHM since my DS was 4 months old, he is now 27 months. I have never cared to much for daycares since there are so many children to one adult and the fact that children are ALWAYS sick because they are catching each sick child?s virus. If and when I have to go back to work I will definitely hire someone to care for my DS at my home. About the education, you will have more time to work with your child. I made it a routine to read a book or two every night before bed time. While I was reading I would point out things on the pages and say ?blue bird? ?red apple.? Children are very smart and soak up so much. They only use it when your least expecting it. lol Before my DS was talking very well I would ask him where the ?green tractor? was and before long he was able to point out what I called out. Children seem to soak up a lot when it is fun or interesting. Children under a certain age prefer to play by themselves. It doesn?t mean that they are anti-social. Babies have a lot of basic skills to learn before their first birthday like moving the hands, holding on to stuff, crawling, cruising, walking etc. when they show interest in playing with other children you could start play dates and mommy?s morning out. Play dates are a great way that to build friendships for both the parent and child. Here is a web site that I found that talks about developmental milestones. https://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/devmile.htm every child develops at a slightly different rate.
Babies grow so fast and do so many new things in their first year and I am so thankful that I was able to SAH to experience all those 1st! I wouldn?t trade them for the world.
I wish you the best of luck and I am sure you will be a wonderful mother. Oh I also wanted to add that where I live our churches have 2, 3, and 4 year old preschool. Where the 2 year olds go 2 days a week 9-12, 3 year olds go 3 days 9-12, and 4 year olds go 4 days a week 9-12 then on to grade school. I personally think that is a smooth transition than just jumping in to pre-K five full days a week.
The last part of my post: I personally think that is a smoother transition than just jumping in to pre-K five full days a week.
Kindergarten is hard-core nowadays. The kids do a lot more than just play all day and get used to being away from mommy. They jump right into full-blown school. A kid who has been at home with mom for five years without any preschool may have a much harder time adjusting than a daycare kid.
Honestly, wait until your LO is here and you see what they're like. I started "playgroups" when DD#1 was about 5 or 6 months old. We all freely admitted that at that age they were more for the moms than the kids. But now she has friends that she has known since she was 6 months old. We still get together about once a week either for a playdate or an outing like to the zoo, museum or just the park. I also started Kindermusik with DD#1 at about 4-5 months. She just loved it. We did it straight through about 20 months (just before DD#2 was born). It was great for her socially and developmentally. That said, DD#1 is my social butterfly and drama queen. DD#2 is much more withdrawn and my observer. She also started Kindermusik at 6 months and also loves it though she interacts less and watches more. She sings and whatnot, but prefers to stick close to me. She comes along with all the other kids to any playdates but has taken a lot longer to get herself involved and still doesn't do the best in new situations.
Because I'm a WAHM, I started DD#1 in MDO at 15 months (and had a sitter for the summer before that) just so I had some time to do work. DD#2 will start this September at 19 months and we'll also have a sitter this summer. I think she'll adjust and get there but I know it'll be more of an adjustment. If I didn't need to work, I would probably hold her out until she was 2. I'm looking into some in home daycares and things like that but it's hard to find one part-time and even there would be a new situation and social situation. I love DD's preschool/MDO program and love her teachers so I know they'd be great with DD#2. Still, it all really depends on your LO and on you. If you need time to yourself and if your LO needs time to him/herself then you do it. If not, you wait. I know places that start as young as 6 months and plenty that don't start until 2. You've got time so wait and see. Your little one will get plenty of interaction, structure and attention with or without MDO. It's up to you to provide that either way. Two short days a week won't get them there...
My pedi has said the same thing - daycare children start with a leg up socially in preschool. BUT, it does not take long for kids to catch up! And there are benefits to staying home, just as there are disadvantages.
As for us, we have done a lot of classes and playgroups. We started our first class and playgroup when DD was about 6 months old. DS has been in them since birth. Since DD turned 3 we've been enrolling her in child only classes to help her make the transistion to preschool in the fall. She's done very well.
Just because your child stays at home, doesn't mean you can't have structure in the day, but honestly, one of the things I love about SAH is that we are flexible to do SO many things.
(m/c 1.17.07, m/c 5.15.07)
DS - 03.15.08
DD2 - 12.03.09
DD3 - 3.28.11
I agree with Ciarrai. Wait and see what your baby's personality is like. My DD is very social, so I schedule playdates and take her to kindermusik classes and give her opportunities to socialize with me. We'll probably do a half-day preschool for a few days a week when she's 3, but I feel like she gets plenty of opportunities to be around other kids right now.
I think this is the sort of thing that you'll spend time worrying about right now, but once your LO is here, you'll figure out what's right for you guys.
DS is in daycare 2 days a week and started when he was 17 months old. Prior to daycare he had a nanny one day a week - that was really for me, not him. It was my day "off" and my day to schedule all dr and hair appointments for me, do all errands that were too difficult for me to do with DS, get my volunteer work done, etc.
DS did early intervention for expressive communication skills for 6 months (he is totally on target now, just started very late) and both his EI counselor and my pedi recommended having him in daycare/pre-pre school. DS is VERY high energy and VERY social. He is also very sensory seeking. They (and DH and I) just saw that he is the type of kid who thrives in a social atmosphere - moreso than the playgroups and classes I had him in (and we do a LOT of classes and playgroups).
I wanted him to only do one day a week since that is what we had with the nanny, but everyone I talked to said that it was too disruptive to do only one day, and very few daycares would do it, which is why he is in 2 days a week. The one we picked is a daycare, but they structure it like a pre-school with circle time, music class, art every day, gross motor time, etc etc etc.
He LOVES it and is really thriving there - so for us it was a very good decision. It has helped him with group/social skills, some eating issues he had, his verbal skills have improved dramatically, his patience/turn taking, etc etc etc.
So. I agree with other people who say wait to see what type of kid you have. My DS is one that needed that group environment with a separate caretaker. Not all kids need that.
I worked until DD was 9 mos old, so she was in daycare fulltime, and she thrived there. I really do think it was good for her - they knew much better than I did what she should be doing, in terms of development and whatnot. And how to give it to her. Now it's up to me, and that's a big responsibility!
Anyway, to answer your question, now that I SAH, we also send her to daycare, but only one day a week. We live away from all of our family and friends, and DH works a ton, so if it weren't for this, she wouldn't ever have time away from ME. So, really, I send her more so that she's not too attached to me. The interaction with other kids and development is an added bonus.
NO need to worry! My siblings and I did not go to preschool and we all turned out to be perfectly normal socially. I would even say my brother and I are social butterflies and my sis is just average social.
There is no reason you cannot teach your child SO MUCH while you are SAH. You will have one on one time with your child that your child would most likely not get in a daycare/preschool/MDO situation.
I would like to start putting DS in some activities when he is 2.5 or 3, say one activity one day per week for an hour or so..something brief, but active. Maybe gymnastics or something like that. But it would not be for the socialization, it would be for him to get his energy out because he is a very active little guy and needs to run around alot, and honestly, it is tough to run with him all day.
Anyway, I wouldn't be worried that your child won't have social skills. You're just borrowing trouble that isn't there.