Parenting after a Loss

Being selfish and feeling sorry for myself, but I need to vent

I posted last week that both of my SILs are pregnant.  They've both been struggling with infertility for over 2 years so everyone was over the moon for them when we found out.  I knew they were due in November but we found out their due dates this weekend.  One is due Nov 22nd, the other is due Nov 25th.  J5's birthday is Nov 23rd.  That means that DH's parents will most likely be out of town for the birth of one of these babies and miss J5's 1st birthday party.  And since 1st birthday parties are really more for the parent's fun, I'm feeling sorry for myself.  I know my parents will be here, but we only have a couple of friends in town here and I just feel like why bother throwing a party for like 6 people?  I never had birthday parties growing up because my parents couldn't afford it so I really want J5 to have fun birthdays.  And just to make myself feel worse, I imagine that they'll be missing his 2nd birthday too because they'll be off at one of these new baby's 1st birthday.  One SIL lives in Sacramento, the other in Louisville, and we're in Minneapolis.  So we're really all over the country.  I know that we could have a party for him maybe a weekend or two before his actual birthday, but I just don't want to do that.  I want to celebrate his real birthday the weekend before!  *sigh*  I know I'm being really whiny.  Like I said, I'm just feeling sorry for myself. 

Here's the worst part, and I almost don't even want to admit to this: Both SILs got pregnant through IVF and have super high HCGs.  So I'm hoping they'll have multiples so that they'll deliver early and J5's birthday can stand alone a little more.  Not that there's anything wrong with multiples, but I know the goal is just for a healthy single pregnancy.

Any Twin Cities MN moms want to come to a birthday party in November?

Re: Being selfish and feeling sorry for myself, but I need to vent

  • Here's the silver lining - He won't remember any of the early birthdays!  I am SURE your parents will be there for his birthday... if not the 1st, then the 2nd for sure.  And if they can't make the 1st due to the birth of the other baby, schedule it a little bit earlier or later.  Hugs.

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  • I'm sorry. I understand how you feel. You love your son and want him to have the best birthday ever! I wish I could come to his party...:(
  • I understand where you are coming from.  You want everyone there for your LO's special day.  Try not to worry yet.  Your sil's may go early and it may not be an issue at all.  You could also schedule the party later so that everyone is there.  He will not remember it.  Either way, I am sure it will be a great day!
  • I understand how that would be upsetting. Try not to worry, as others have said, multiples or not, they still may go early or even late.

    HUGS - your LO will have a wonderful party regardless....If I were in the area, I would come help celebrate.

  • I'm sorry  :(  I understand why you are upset, I would be too!  We'll come to J5's birthday!  ;)
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