Parenting after a Loss

How about a Dear MIL post?

I'll go first.

Dear MIL,

I am truly glad to have you visit your grandchildren, even on the semi-weekly basis you seem to favor. However, a few requests:

-- We'd like some notice please. I know that YOU don't work and have very little else to do, but WE do and having visitors pop up at any given time is rather distracting. 

-- At this point, you are now elevated from the role of "guest" to "household member" and this is not a restaurant. If you want something to eat, the cereal is there, the milk is over there, and the bowls are right in front of you. Help yourself.

-- Please don't stand there and watch me cook/clean/change the baby. If you aren't going to ask if you can help, get the hell out of the room. 

-- I consider nursing to be a private moment between myself and my babies. There is no need to come into the room at 5am and start loudly talking to me while I am half asleep and half naked. If I wanted your help, I'd ask for it. Meanwhile, please refer to #3 above. 

Re: How about a Dear MIL post?

  • Dear MIL:

    Please stop wearing so much perfume when you come over.  We have asked you to tone it down.  Not only does DD smell like butts once you leave but now she smells like cigarette smoke being covered with a gallon of perfume.  Gross.

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  • OH my, is she at your house at 5am? I would be going crazy by now. 

    Definitely have her help if she is going to be there.  Just hand her a baby and tell her what to do!  If she does not want to do that have her earn her keep and fix dinner!

    I love your new siggy pics!!

    Owen - January 2009 Image and video hosting by TinyPic Owen is a big brother!!! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • (I hope this doesn't offend anyone religious)

    Dear MIL-

    I know that you are a born-again Christian. ?You know that I am agnostic. ?We have told you a million times that we are going to let the baby make up his own mind about religion when he is old enough. ?If you want to give us baby gifts, give us baby gifts. ?Do not give us religious propaganda for the baby. ?I do not need "Baby Praise" in book, DVD, *and* VHS form. ?I do not want to read to him from "My First Bible," or "God is My Best Friend" and "Easter Is Not Just for Bunnies." ?Did you even look at these books? ?The latter starts out, "When Jesus died on the cross they wrapped his body in cloth." ?Nightmares much? And what's with singing him "Jesus loves the little children." ?Seriously, "red and yellow, black and white..."? ?Am I yellow in this scenario?

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  • dr.g - both my family and DH's family are very Catholic.  We are also agnostic.  It has been very uncomfortable to explain why we don't have DD wear the cross necklace she got as a gift, why there will be no baptism, why she doesn't need an Easter dress, and why the crucifix is not hanging in her room.  I have also had to ask my mom why she insists on blessing DD with a cross on her forehead every time she leaves her.  It's just weird!

     Dear MIL - 

    I am glad you are gone.  You left yesterday after a week of hell on earth.  Why have you felt it necessary to call us 3 times in the past 24 hours?  We don't miss you and we're just plain out of things to talk about.

    Also, when I told you not to take naked pictures of my child, I meant not to take naked pictures of my child.  Waiting until DH and I go out for drinks with friends to strip my child down and take pictures of her spread out like a Playboy model on a blanket is disrespectful and pisses me off beyond belief.  I will fly to Arkansas and kick your ass if I even think I see anything anywhere on the internet that looks like my naked baby.  Don't think I am kidding.

    Your DIL

  • dr. g - that cracked me up!  "Easter is Not Just for Bunnies" sounds like a real gem. 

    Dear MIL,

    I like you - I really do.  Why must I declaim it constantly?  It sucks that I work on the weekends now, but please don't turn my job into a comment on how I feel about you.  I promise that I am not tutoring just to avoid you.  

    Yur frend,

    Laustique 

  • imagedr.girlfriend:

    (I hope this doesn't offend anyone religious)

    Dear MIL-

    I know that you are a born-again Christian.  You know that I am agnostic.  We have told you a million times that we are going to let the baby make up his own mind about religion when he is old enough.  If you want to give us baby gifts, give us baby gifts.  Do not give us religious propaganda for the baby.  I do not need "Baby Praise" in book, DVD, *and* VHS form.  I do not want to read to him from "My First Bible," or "God is My Best Friend" and "Easter Is Not Just for Bunnies."  Did you even look at these books?  The latter starts out, "When Jesus died on the cross they wrapped his body in cloth."  Nightmares much? And what's with singing him "Jesus loves the little children."  Seriously, "red and yellow, black and white..."?  Am I yellow in this scenario?

     Is it wrong that I laughed out loud at that?  You win. 

    Actually, I think all of you win. I will shut up about my MIL, you all clearly have it worse. 

  • Dear MIL,

     Please do not open blank envelopes sitting on our table while you are watching DD at our house alone.  It is our mail and you do not know what is in there.  Frankly, it's non of your damn business.  Opening someone elses mail is a federal offense and you could go to jail for it. 

    Also do not play stupid when you take extra pictures I purchased of DD for my Grandma.  I had yours wrapped up in a bag that I handed to you saying "these are yours" before I left for work. 

    Please do not go into rooms in our house with closed doors.  It's closed for a reason. 

    Lastly, please do not try to download "Race to Witch Mountain" on our computer.  Thank you for bombarding our computer with tons of spam and pop ups.  Thankfully DH was able to get rid of it before it broke our computer. 

    I really dislike MIL, I can't wait for RSV season to pass which is when I will be putting DD in daycare.  I can't stand being around the woman for even a minute.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicImage and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickersLilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Dear MIL-

    Please stop asking me the same things over and over.  If you ask me once and I give you an answer, what is the purpose of asking it again.  And can you please stop telling me things about my life that you think to be truth?  For instance...think back to when I was pregnant with Kailey.  Was it really neccessary to tell me when my due date was? Especially since you were wrong?  And was it neccessary to tell me that I was having back labor, when in fact I wasn't?

    Could you also please stop making up names that you would like everyone in the family to be called?  Kailey will not be calling your mother in law nana Joy.  She will not be calling her step grandpa "pappy."

    While I have your attention, do you think for once you could not talk to Kailey like she is 30 years old?  Could you not tell her to shush because you are trying to talk? Could you not tell her to be patient and wait for her bottle? And you could PLEASE not explain everything thing that goes on in the world to her and explain how everything works, because I'm telling you, SHE DOES NOT UNDERSTAND.  That look she gives you that appears that she has no idea what you are talking about...she doesn't. 

    Now, about pictures.  You own a camera...so take your own. Please stop stealing all of mine off of myspace and facebook.  You have forced me to make all my albums private and I can no longer post pictures.  There is no need to send out vast emails of pictures of MY daughter to people she does not know and will never meet.  If you want a pic of you and her, fine, take it with your camera.  If you want pictures of her for your comptuer or something, fine, take them yourself, but do not take the pictures I work hard at, especially without asking.

     Last but not least....Leave my SIL alone.  As she is now pregnant, she doesn't need to deal with all the insaneness that I had to deal with during my pregnancy.  Get a hobby..and a new sweatshirt.

     

  • WOW! I can't believe anyone would do half this stuff. What wacka-dos. Maybe it makes me a biotch, but I'm so glad MIL is deceased!
  • Dear MIL:
    Please stop asking if you need to take off a day to watch Ella. You don't! The babysitter (my mom) is just fine. That's what we pay her to do! If something comes up and my mom can't watch her a day, we will let you know, but you do not need to ask every single time we see you! You had your chance to watch her while my mom and dad were on a cruise and you didn't offer then! Your FIL did! I think you're jealous now.  And on the weekends, we don't want to go out and party it up, we spent all week working and we just like to spend our weekends at home or wherever with Ella. Our time throughout the week is limited with her. So we'll let you know if we ever need a babysitter, but stop asking us if we do!

    Your

    DIL

  • opps.. my FIL offered, not her FIL
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