Anyone else feel OLD?

Julia-Henry · March 2009

Hi Ladies, I'm 39. I have a 3 yo, and am working towards TTC #2. I'm also starting to feel like I'm too old for this, not biologically - well, if it can work, it will work, and plenty of women my age or older have babies... But old in terms of life situation - all of my real-life friends are done TTC and have kids in school, or they are much younger and I'm starting to feel almost embarrassed about TTC...

I met a mom the other day who is only 4 years older than I am, and has a 25 yo college student son! ANyway, I'm just feeling a little, well, old...

Do you ever feel this way? Any ideas that might help? I'm starting to second-guess everything now...

Irishsapphire · March 2009

Yes, my 20 year high school reunion, and lot of girls that that I went to school with have a lot of kids--only two that I found really struggled with fertility problems.

My community bible group prayed for me last night (most women in their twenties). Let's see --SARAH was mentioned-feeling a tad bit old and as well my WANT to have a child--okay so I admit it --it just feels like it is easier for other women to get pregnant---I thought it would be easier for me.

I guess I just felt like I had prayed so many ways to God, and I was exhausted--like I do not know how to pray for this anymore.

I do feel that you have to live your own life and not compare your life to others. Obviously, at our age, we have to do more from a fertility standpoint in order to have children, but the advantage is that it may be a better time in our life to have children than younger mothers.

I have started going back to my Obgyn and asking about different fertility options--blood tests, semen analysis, possibly clomid in the future, and using OPKs--it is more work. But I think it will be worth it. : )

FrannyS · March 2009

I know what you mean! Some of my friends my age (39) have small kids but several of them have teenager (or preteens) and here I am just starting! Often my DH and I think we are too old for this. If nothing happens this year we probably won't continue trying.

On a positive note, one friend had a baby at 42 so you never know!

NewMrs07 · March 2009

Yeah, I work with a girl who had her first kid at 16!!! She's 32 and has 3 kids, with the oldest one being 16. Makes me feel real old to have my first at 39!

Melissa070707 · March 2009

I feel old sometimes. My son is 15, my daughter will be 1 next month. I am literally starting all over again!! But I wouldn't choose it any other way. I can tell you there is a big difference in having a baby when you are younger and when you are older, but they are both nice for different reasons.

So, basically what I am saying is have your baby when it is right for YOU, and enjoy life!!

itsmexine · March 2009

Sometimes I feel that way too. I tried not get pregnant for almost 38 years. And I just want it to happen so much but when it doesn't and AF shows up I sometimes think should I really be doing this at this age? I'm kinda old aren't I. But then about 3 days later after the AF cloud dissapates I'm ready again.

I also look at my sister who is 40 and has a 16 yr old her daughter will be going to college in in 2 yrs so it makes me wonder if I'm too old but on the flip side my brother and SIL who are 41 have 6 yr old and 3 yr old. I see how much joy they have in their life and can't imagine not having a dear child with DH.

I don't feel old right now though even though it is past my bedtime Wink

leffe1 · March 2009

I feel old when it comes to having children I guess. My aunt had her 1st at 39 and my grandma her 3rd at 43!!! I hope some of their luck rubs off on me SOON! Other than that I feel the best I have ever felt in my life at 37...

mimi525 · March 2009

Right there with you! I am 39 and trying on my first. I am always complaining about it.

shyntrue · March 2009

I'll be 41 in 1 month... We are trying for our 1st. BUt, we just got married in October. Waited a long time to find the right guy. It might take a little while, but it will be worth it I think!

BirdieBrd · March 2009

I've never felt embarrassed by my age and TTC but a lot of my friends are/were older when they started having kids so that might be why.

The only time I really feel old is when I'm with my cousin who I can vividly remember being 18 and going to the hospital to visit the day she was born (her mom was the same age I am when she was born). She is now 19 and in college. That makes me feel old.

But honestly other than my bones being a little more stiff I don't really feel like what I thought 36 would feel like (remember when we were young and thought anyone in their 30's was OLD). Now I feel better than I did when I was in my twenties.

Wait, sometimes my husband makes me feel old when we are watching a remake of something (like the Bionic Woman) and I say 'don't you remember when this was a TV show back in the day?' and he says 'No'. Or when a song from the 80's comes on and he has never heard it. Whatever!!!!

msinformation · March 2009

There are many days when I feel the same way. Most of the time I forget that I am 37 and I don't mean to sound too vain, but I don't think I look my age either. There are times when I have to look someone's information up here at work and I'll be shocked that they are the same age as me or younger because to me, they look quite a bit older. I think I'm in denial about the whole age thing! Smile

It does get me worried though when I think about how I want more than one baby and what my age will be when they are in high school. But again, it is what it is and I can't do anything about it.

tkcarnes · March 2009

I am turning 39 in July, TTC #1 after a m/c last July, I have nieces and nephews the oldest is 17, and my much younger brother has a 4 year old, which makes me feel older to TTC. But, my doctor said everything should be ok up to 42, I should not have any problems, that made me feel better. I wish it would happen sooner than later.

Julia-Henry · March 2009

Thanks, everyone. I feel better somehow knowing that I'm not alone in this. You ladies are great!

ecu1995 · March 2009

Do you want to feel really OLD? I work at a University, the incoming class of 2009 was born in 1991! EEK...thats the year I graduated from high school, so I get freaked out that I could actually be these kids mom! BUT....the flip side is that since I do work at a University (ACC fever in our house!) I feel like I am "down" with the kids and at least stay current (or I am just fooling myself and am actually "that woman who thinks she is still 21"!).

Physically, there are days where I feel that my body is getting creaky then there are those days where I cannot trick myself into thinking that crazy spriggy hair is actually blonde (hello haircolor appt this weekend!).

But all in all I still feel pretty young, even when the Dr. told me that I am officially AMA....I had no idea what he meant, against medical advice? No...advanced maternal age!

LMHCnewlywed · March 2009

I know what you mean I had a client talking about her ex wanting kids and how he does nto have energy for it and she said "thats why people in their 40s should not have kids" it REALLY stuck with me for a long time. Especially since I know I do get tired with my son and want another. But I also know that I am more patient and can be a better parent now because of my readiness for it.

I also hate when I hear people saying things like I want(ed) to be done having all my kids by age 30", " I don't want to be an 'old parent'" and stuff like that. My parents were older when they had me and it never bothered me!

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