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Austin Babies
mcgee
member
The Case Against Breastfeeding
mcgee
member
Thought-provoking article from The Atlantic.
https://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200904/case-against-breastfeeding
Mike and McGee: Parenting, Decorating, Renovating and Living a Greener Life in Austin, Texas
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
This discussion has been closed.
Re: The Case Against Breastfeeding
I hope this won't cause drama here like it did on PAL and the baby boards....
And at that, I'll say no more. ?Except that it's nice (for once) to read something that doesn't insinuate that I'm the devil for FFing by choice. ?Okay, now I'll say no more. ?;)?
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
**hugs**
:-)
Well, obviously the author (or editor) was trying to be provocative with the headline, but I thought it was a good article. And I liked the overall message - breastfeeding may have some benefits, but the studies aren't clear. If you want to nurse, do it. But don't feel that you're dooming your child if you formula feed.
- From a mom who BF for about 8 months and the FF.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Totally agree.
<a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Home D
I agree, I also thought it was a good article. It is nice to hear (even if it is not very often) that those of us moms that chose to FF did not automatically doom our children to a life of obesity, sickness and stupidity.
I have also always found it ironic that Abby, who was FF from 6 weeks to one year has only been sick a hand full of times (about 3 times total that have landed us in the DR office).
I thought she presented interesting information, but her tone was so bitter that I think she hurt her case by sounding insecure and a little neurotic. Did she miss the memo that being a mom is a tough and often thankless job? You can bet that if I found myself sitting up "seething" at my DH for not being able to feed a baby in the middle of the night, I would find a way to pump or supplement even just a little bit.
I have no opinion on BF versus FF.
52 Choices For Better Health
I thought her argument was hurt my hyperbole - mothers aren't feeding their kids 9 times a day at 6 months, and you wouldn't be 'half-naked in public for the 10th time that day' at any point in breastfeeding. Such hyberbole makes the reader question her facts as well. I thought a NYTimes? article was done much better in explaining the history of BF/FF and the true and not-so-true benefits of both.
Truth is, even if FF I would have been the one up in middle of the night and feeding the girls still 90% of their feedings. I consider the girls to a large extent my job, especially at that new baby stage, and I'd get up in middle of the night to feed them whether BF or FF since my DH needs to go to work and earn the $$.
And I don't think I've ever judged a mom for FF. Heck, Elena took formula and I wished Julia would have to let me go do things at least every once in a while without the girls. And double heck, if I did FF Julia probably wouldn't be anemic right now!
Now I did judge the parents of the little 1-yr-old running around the 2 weekends ago with what appeared to be coke in his bottle.
6-yr-old Elena and 4-yr-old Julia.
My Blog! All about my girls and quilting
I really need to read this article. Its so loooong though....
I ff with pride, and never had a moment's guilt over it. But I always roll my eyes when women go on about how breast is best, they are giving their child the best possible start, blah blah blah.
Like they are saying, Oh its fine that YOU give formula but I'M doing what's best! Sounds like passive aggressive judging to me.
And then that's if you buy into the whole breast is best thing, when I have my doubts. Too many times on these boards I've seen posts about breastfed babies who are not gaining weight. How is that best?
The author does state that she had breast fed both of her older children for at least a year, so at the time of writing the article, I think she'd been nursing for something like 28+ months? Wasn't clear if her kids were close enough together that she nursed during each pregnancy and thus nursed continuously for that period of time. I'm too lazy to go back and double check.
Anyway, she was obviously burned out on nursing but resented the attitude in her social circle that formula = bad mothering. Her burned out attitude definitely colors her writing, but then, she wasn't exactly writing it as a scholarly article. I also understand being frustrated because my husband couldn't nurse - I remember being really upset when Meredith was about two months old because I was starving and wanted to eat some of my diner before nursing, and he refused to walk around the house with her and try to keep her calm for a few minutes. I didn't have a stash of frozen BM yet that he could use, and he didn't want to give her formula. It was not pretty.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
I haven't read the whole thing (yet), but I agree that she sounds bitter and overstates the "problem" of BFing. And having read a lot of Friedan, I think it's ridiculous to compare BFing (a complete and total choice) to "the problem that has no name." Society definitely makes it FF easy and accessible, whereas the ability to break out of the roles of middle class wife/homemaker in the 50s was almost impossible.
Furthermore, there are plenty of women who choose FFing over BFing. If you feel scorned by your "friends" because you FF then maybe you need to find new friends. While I plan on BFing for as long as I can I will not feel any shame in FFing or supplementing.
For me the thing I like about the article, coming from a FFing mom, was it was refreshing to read someone supporting the choice to FF. No I do not think ALL BFing moms judge FFing moms but there is a general societal feeling that they are doing what is best for their child by BFing (so therefore moms that FF are not). I am not saying it is always (though sometimes is IS VERY intentional, hello LLL and other like organizations) but it is there. I will admit I felt a lot of guilt about not BFing and NO it was not put on me by DH, friends or family. Everywhere you turn you hear/read ?breast is best.? So naturally for some of us, we are bound to think/feel we are not doing what is best for our child if we do not BF. I mean when women who are struggling with BFing have to be told ?formula is not rat poison? when they are considering FFing something is F#$@ed up!
I am all for supporting BFing. I think if it works for you and your family, GREAT! I do not like the campaigns that are out there for it though that basically come down to telling moms that do not BF that they are are hurting their child by not BFing.
(You *know* I had to chime i here...)
Without reading the article yet...
The fact that this debate even exists is testament to the "taboo" and shame that has been placed on formula feeding.
The mothers (and BOTB'ers) on this board do try to be sensitive to the choices that each one of us makes.
But, there is some (passive) aggressive literature out there that argues that FF is not the best solution for my child and that I am hurting their development if I don't BF. (My favorites: Lower IQ, health issues, breast cancer (for me)...)
And there might be some truth to it...heck, even my formula can says that it is the "next best thing to breast milk"...
But everyone has a right to the choices they make and I just don't like what seems like all the campaining against FF and the arrogant smug and downturn of the brow that BF mothers (not you guys) give FF's.
Off to read the article...
I think this is just proof to how politically correct breastfeeding has come. Like the surgeon general warning on a pack of smokes...I think the only reason formula companies put that on the can is to pacify the LLL.
I do plan on trying to BF, but I've always been appalled by how BAD moms feel who either can't or just don't and "have to" FF. I agree with PP--simply the fact that this is a debate is a testament to the pervasive stigma that FF has in our society. I have consistently gotten the message from both these boards (all the baby-related ones) and my friends who BF that breast milk IS a "magic elixir" that is best for the child, implying that FF is not what is best. And I have already had to deal with feelings of anxiety about what will happen if I can't BF for a year...will I be hurting my baby? Will people click their tongues (even if it's privately) about it?
So I fall somewhere in the middle--yes, the author clearly had a chip on her shoulder about the whole thing (but I was still irked at the end that she relented on her stance and conceded that there is still something about BFing that keeps her going), but it was also refreshing to hear a side of the debate that is not talked about--that BFing is not leaps-and-bounds better for baby than FF.
I'm not a mom yet, so I dont have much perspective on the truth to the statements or generalizations she makes in her article, but from a soon-to-be-mom who is struggling to figure out which method I want to choose for my child BF/FF, this article has some refreshing points.
I appreciated this article for the point it makes that FF is not a fast track to dooming your newborn. Its always nice to hear the "other" side of the story. Since day one of my pregnancy I've been bombarded by new moms, one-sided literature, and plain ol' strangers that say to me "you're going to breast feed right?!" Implying that any other option is not a smart option or that FF is a sign that I dont "care" enough about my child, I"m not a "good mom". Because of this barrage of one-sided arguments for BF I've ignorantly begun to think, there is no other way to ensure the health of my newborn BUT to breastfeed. While I'm still deliberating on which option works best for me and my circumstances, its nice to hear that if I choose the FF route, my child will not suffer health wise and that even though the stigma may still be around for a while for non-BF'dng moms, FF is not the "wrong choice".
I'm not a fan of the title, mostly because I didn't think any part of this article was "against bfing" but more closing the gap between ffing and bfing. But I guess she needed some sort of shock value to get people to read it.
What I didn't read in the article at all (and was disappointed about) is all the slack that bfing moms get today as well, myself included. There's not a single member of my family (and only one in Dh's) that bfed and no one really understands just how difficult and stressfull it really is. I've lost count of the many times I've heard from my own mother "Can't you just give him a bottle?". And especially when it comes to NIP, DS gets hungry when we're out and mom looks at me, disappointed and says " You didn't bring a bottle, did you?". UGH. Then it's followed by "well, we need to get home so you can feed". And then the guilt trips you get when other family members say they wish they could feed your kid.
I also think, and this is just my opinion on bfing, it's not so much that's it's what best for my baby, but I feel empowered by it. Bfing is HARD and I really feel like I've accomplished something by doing it. It's self gratifying, if you will. I think "WOW, I've kept this kid alive and thriving for 4 months now on just something my body produces naturally!" Other people run marathons, I breastfeed.
The article pointed out that the health benefits aren't possibly what they thought they were, but in my personal experience I have a hard time believing it. DS was 2 weeks old and everyone in DH's family, and both of us included, got a nasty stomach bug and DS was fine. I have a killer cold and cough right now, as does everyone that was at my house last week, and DS is fine. He rarely spits up, and by rarely I mean I can probably count on one hand the number of times he's had a decent amount of spit up. Would all these scenarios be different if he weren't breastfed? Maybe, we'll never know. But is it so bad for me to think that he's been the healthiest he can be because I'm giving him what nature intended?
I can also point to MANY similar instances when it come to Abby. I had strep throat 3 times before she was a year old and she never got it.
No, I do not think it is bad that you like to attribute you DS's health to your hard work to BF him. What I do think is "bad" is when FFing moms are made to feel like their child will of course not be as healthy as a BFed child because they did not do the best thing for their child by BFing. (just to be clear I am not saying that YOU do this, I am talking about socitey in general)
Of course there's nothing wrong with your last line. But consider this...since Layna has been born, DH has had the flu, twice. We both had a stomach bug causing diarrhea. DS has had strept. I had a sinus infection.
And the most DD has been sick was that little fever she had two weeks ago, that I didn't even bother calling the doctor over. And she's never had breastmilk.
The thing is, nobody can prove that breastmilk is better. Everybody can come up with examples of healthy ff babies and sick bf babies. And vice versa.
Another perspective to consider - one of my good friends is an adoptive mother and is unable to have biological children. While some adoptive mothers are able to induce lactation, it is a VERY difficult process, and many find it too hard to produce milk at all, much less produce enough milk for their newly adopted baby. My friend option not to try induced lactation and used formula, as most adoptive parents do.
Her POV, as expressed to me once when Meredith was a baby (and I was nursing) was that she really resented all the "breast is best" language because odds were highly against her ever being capable of nursing a child. Think about it - you are in a situation where you don't really have the OPTION to nurse, but you're bombarded with messages that babies who are fed formula are doomed to be less smart, overweight, and less healthy than their breastfed friends. I can't imagine being made to feel that I was harming my child because I didn't have the ability to BF.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
I agree 100%.
And that's being passive aggressive the other way and could have made those same moms on this board extremely upset. You just said they obviously weren't doing the best for their kid.
Apparently it is hard to argue for either choice without some passive aggressive judging coming out to play. You state that you FF with pride, etc - so isn't that the exact same thing as another mom saying she's BF with pride? Yet that's what you roll your eyes about?
6-yr-old Elena and 4-yr-old Julia.
My Blog! All about my girls and quilting
I totally agree with this.
I have been afraid to confess (at least on here) that I have made the choice to FF.
Even when my ob asked me and I said I was going to FF, I felt a lot of guilt about it. I've wanted to post about this several times on here (and almost did in the confession post the other day) but I really didn't want this to change anyone's opinion of me.
I don't feel like this makes me a bad person or a bad parent, but I feel like a lot of people are so judgemental about it (especially in the Austin area). DH doesn't understand the guilt I have about this subject.
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Because I don't go around saying that formula is best. I don't say that breastmilk is best. I say it doesn't matter, just feed your kid.
But if a baby is not gaining weight and the doctor is concerned, then how can anyone say that breastmilk is best in that situation?
Its not politically correct but I will argue that formula is as good for your baby as breastmilk. Breastfed babies can have the same issues as formula-fed - reflux, constipation, colic....
Actually, I don't think she was being passive aggressive with that statement. Questioning whether something is "best" (which is what she did) isn't the same thing as saying that the other option is best (which would be passive aggressive).
She didn't say she rolled her eyes at people who say "I BF with pride" as much as the people who say "BFing is best."
It's ok for people to think either option is equally valid, healthy, and good for a child. One side doesn't have to be BETTER than the other.
Thanks - you said it much better than me
I BF'd for 5 weeks, then pumped for a few. I felt like such a failure when I quit, and not quite sure why. But my guilt has me considering trying BFing for our second child even though I despised it and was never more miserable in my life. It's just the literature that comes at you and an expectation that I have to try it. DD is very healthy and is progressing just fine on formula.
I say to each her own, and you're right, in any good debate, people can find evidence to support either side. Everyone has their beliefs.
I am going to take offense to this statement. My daughter had terrible weight gain issues. She was exclusively breasted through 9 months, and then received bf and ff until 12. You are not a doctor. When DD had weight issues, my first question to the doctor was to ask if I should supplement with formula. The pediatrician told me no - that was not the issue. It turns out there were other reasons for the drop in percentiles and no matter what she was drinking, formula or breastmilk, the same issue would have occurred.
To make a blanket statement about equating issues with weight gain to issues with breast milk is inaccurate and uninformed, and as nannan pointed out, just as much a bash to bfing mothers as saying bf makes you a better mother than ff.
Who says that the issue about weight gain is from BF??? Just as reflux, constipation, colic etc are found in both BF and FF kids, weight issues can be found in both BF and FF kids. This statement is a judgment call from you saying BF is not best.
I can't imagine anyone on these boards called you out for Layna's fever b/c she's FF, yet you just called out mothers on this board for weight issues b/c they BF.
6-yr-old Elena and 4-yr-old Julia.
My Blog! All about my girls and quilting
Abrooks and nanaan...you two are right. A formula-fed baby can have problems problems gaining weight, too.
I was trying to make the point that breastmilk is not any better than formula because BF babies can have problems just like a ff baby.
What?
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I think sfl is 'save for later'.
Ah, I see.
The Blog
ah, yeah, i'm going to go ahead and take offense to this too. teagan's weight issues have NOTHING to do with bf'ing. and for you to make that judgment is just absolutely disheartening. gosh that statement just amazes me....you've obviously never dealt with having a child who fails to thrive
52 Choices For Better Health
Keep reading, I admitted I was wrong.