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3rd Trimester
Why aren't you or won't you be a stay at home mom?
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Re: Why aren't you or won't you be a stay at home mom?
I can't due to finances, but I wouldn't anyway. I've worked so hard for my degree, and I do define myself for my career too, and I have a great job I enjoy. That being said, I did wish my maternity leave was longer, just to care for the baby beyond just 3 months old.
First I have always wanted to be a SAHM. ?Fortunately, hubby has a job (police officer) that will support us and provide health/dental/life insurance. ?We have no credit card debt anymore, have nearly paid off $40K in student loans and are saving for a house. ?For those of you that say finances are the reason for you not staying at home I recommend the book The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey. ?This book has changed our financial life together. ?Lastly,?I also work at a daycare so I don't make a lot of $$ so if I worked I'd get paid $50 a month to have someone else raise my child. ?
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Once Upon a Princess Tutus
My Life as a Future Mom
Once Upon a Princess Tutus
My Life as a Future Mom
1. We can't afford it.
2. I absolutely love what I do and I went to school for a long time for it.
3. I think that some people are cut out to be sahm's and some people aren't. I think I'm more on the not side.
High five, sister! I am the breadwinner right now as well, hubby has a year left of school, unless he gets a job offer sooner he'll work and finish school PT.
I had always intended and dreamed of being a SAHM, but this was until a few years ago really, when my career took off and I realized I really do love my work. I figured that out during a 6 month period of being unemployed and went into a deep depression because my identity was just gone. Maybe that isn't 100% healthy but I think we all do define ourselves to a point on what we "do" whether it's work or be a SAHM.
Anyway I live in one of the most expensive areas of the country (Seattle) and Hubby and I have both talked about how we want to be dual income. If we weren't we would struggle.
Fortunately my career trajectory is technology project management, which means I can probably work PT and make..a lot. That's my goal, I don't know if I'll be there doing full time PM work by the time I take time off but hopefully I will be close.
Of course, this could all change given that I've only known about being pg for 4 days now. Who knows how my mind will change once this baby becomes more and more of a reality?
If I had the option, I'd probably work really part time, and be home otherwise. I have to work full-time for financial reasons....I make more than DH, and we use my benefits. DH is in school - so hopefully when he gets out he'll land a great job and we can revisit this whole thing.
That being said, when I took this job I negotiated to be able to work from home two days a week with the baby...so I'm pretty psyched.
same for me
Oh if life were a bowl of cherries for us all. -IT WOULD BE GREAT. My spouse and I aren't the best of budgeting fanatics, although trying to be. With a baby boy on the way and the whirlwind of the economy and the flucuating prices of common goods, Finances are the main reason !!!
I don't think I would want to put that burden on my spouse at this time.
Ditto... probably. I currently work PT and only make $12 and change an hour, and that's about what part time child care costs at a licensed day care center in our area (b/w $10-12/hour for one child for part time). After taxes, gas, etc., it would cost money for me to have DS in a licensed daycare every day (I could never leave my child with an unlicensed stranger - it would have to be someone I know and trust, or a licensed daycare provider).
I am also worried about becoming one of those extreme overprotective no-identity-outside-of-my-husband-and-kids SAH moms, so I'm trying to work something out where I can return to work for one or two days a week instead of 5 (job share my part time job with another person!). This would be great, as it would let me get out of the house and make a few extra $$ (the money I earn doesn't contribute to our household income, it's just spending money for me, and more importantly, savings).
I could leave DS with my mother for one day a week and put him in a daycare for one day a week if I worked two days. I wouldn't feel guilty about doing this (I think it'd be fun for him), but I would feel guilty about sending him to daycare every day so I could earn (net) $2 per hour, or less. If I was the breadwinner, or if DH and I had comparable salaries, I would have no qualms about leaving him in daycare - but in our case, it doesn't make as much sense.
At this point, we just have too much debt. My income is mostly going toward paying it off. In a few years we could probably afford for me to not work, but then we'll be wanting to save more money for retirement, for vactions, things like that, so I'll more than likely continue working full-time.
I do work from home, though, so I don't have to put my kids in daycare (HARD doing it this way, though, and honestly, there are days when I dream of putting my son in daycare so I'm able to concentrate on my job).
I am a SAHM. While it would be wonderful to have my old income on top of DH's, we are making sacrifices for me to stay at home. Sure we used to take big fancy vacations and eat out all the time but now we stay closer to home and cook more...things like that.Neither one of us would trade it for the world. We believe that a woman's highest calling is motherhood.
?This is our situation, as well, since child care is so expensive these days! ?I'm looking for work-at-home opportunities to supplement Hubby's income in addition to the freelance writing I do.?