How long did you TALK about TTC before actually following through with it?

TheMrs923 · March 2009

The topic is ever more present in our daily conversation together and we're both ready but, for the longest time I've been saying, let's wait and try to get pregnant in July (I know the possibilities of it working on the first try are microscopic) that way, when I'm due next April, I'll be coming back to work at the very beginning of our fiscal year making my work life a lot easier. But, lately, especially now since I know I'm starting my "fertile" week this week, I feel like just asking DH if he wants to try this month.

Is it crazy to be so spontaneous or, is it good to be of the mind set that, we could try now and when it's meant to happen it will?

What are your thoughts?

yogisunam · March 2009

I think I told DH about a month or two before I had my IUD removed that I wanted to have kids sooner rather than later, and he said he was on board. The IUD came out about 5 months before our wedding and we started the next month.

staycee · March 2009

you could start now and still not be pg by July... or even next April. There is just no way to know how this part of your future will play out.

sgrl · March 2009

We were married for almost five years before we started TTC. We "impulsively" went ahead and started TTC even though I wanted to wait to time our due date after my third anniversary with my company (more leave). We lost the first pregnancy. I am biased, but I say go for it if you're ready. There's always a reason to wait.

ETA: We talked about TTC on and off throughout our marriage, but seriously talked about timing from about 2006 on.

Newspaper Articles · March 2009

How long did you TALK about TTC before actually following through with it? 5.5 years, but this probably doesn't help you any.

TheMrs923 · March 2009

staycee:
you could start now and still not be pg by July... or even next April. There is just no way to know how this part of your future will play out.

This is very true, so, I say, it's time to practice lol!

jennabee13 · March 2009

We've been talking about TTC for over a year. Had planned on starting numerous times but pushed back for various reasons.

cedge05 · March 2009

We started talking about it shortly after we got married but it wasn't until our 3rd anniversary that we set a date. One month later, in December 08, we officially started TTC. We got pregnant in Feb but lost our baby last week. We were lucky in that it did not take too long but who knows how long it will take once we start trying again. I would say stick to your July goal but don't get upset if it doesn't happen right away.

TheMrs923 · March 2009

Newspaper Articles:
How long did you TALK about TTC before actually following through with it? 5.5 years, but this probably doesn't help you any.

Of course it does, but, I guess the better way to say what I'm asking is, did you wait until you had a check list of things taken care of or did you two talk about it, decide you wanted a baby and just went for it? I guess though, everyone is different

lo45fd98wq32 · March 2009

We have been talking about it actively since our wedding in August. Much more lately. This weekend he said we could try this summer, but I think he was joking.

Jason'swife · March 2009

Our conversation went something like this:

Me: I refuse to bring condoms on our honeymoon.

DH: Er.... I dunno....

Me: Common Honey, even with the best timing in the world there's only like a 1 in 5 chance that we'd end up pregnant.

DH: Ok, whatever.

I'm sure you can figure out what happened.

Moral of the story: It can and does happen on the first try sometimes.

Oh, and don't drink the water (or more likely, the Mai Tai's) in Maui.

Stick out tongue

staycee · March 2009

I didn't answer the question in the post title.

how long did we talk about it? About 14 months while we were dating. (we dated for 18 total before the wedding).

at our ages, we were both looking for "the one" to settle down and have kids right away with. Little did we know we'd be TTC for 20 months.

Newspaper Articles · March 2009

TheMrs923:
Newspaper Articles:
How long did you TALK about TTC before actually following through with it? 5.5 years, but this probably doesn't help you any.

Of course it does, but, I guess the better way to say what I'm asking is, did you wait until you had a check list of things taken care of or did you two talk about it, decide you wanted a baby and just went for it? I guess though, everyone is different

I basically had to wait for DH to be on board. We discussed having kids before we were married of course. Then life happened and he kept pushing it back. So I had to be patient and wait for him to be ok with it.

Which worked out in our favor somewhat. We bought a house, we're out of consumer debt and he's almost done with schooling. So we can focus on having a baby now. (if it will ever happen. I'm currently on Cycle #10)

heather_09_15_07 · March 2009

We planned to start trying right after getting married, and that is what we did.

buckin · March 2009

We started talking about it shortly after getting engaged. We started TTC about a year later (six months after our wedding). That was 2 years ago. DH was onboard but didn't want to do the whole charting thing and timing sex..he just wanted to "go with the flow." I started charting ummmm 8 months ago I think? Diagnosed with PCOS two months ago and he is now pushing for baby..like offering to go the dr with me for every new test etc. It's kind of sweet but also a little overwhelming.

sgrl · March 2009

We wanted to sell our house - that took over a year. We moved into our new house and wanted to sell a lot that we owned, but it was taking forever and I was getting weepy and hysterical since we'd already put off TTC for over a year waiting for the damn house to sell, so we just said screw it and went for it - and the lot SOLD in December. I'd like to have more money in the bank and a fence built in our backyard, ideally, but those things will come.

mrs_b_2007 · March 2009

once we were married, BC was out. we knew anything could happen & we were 100% OK with that. we did still sort of TTA in a few ways (like staying away during my estimated O time, and the good ol' p&p)

our philosophy was always if it happened, it happened. we've always been more than ready financially & emotionally.

it's been about 1.5 yrs since our wedding and we are just now getting to the point where we are anxious to settle down and actively try. so yea, that's our deal.

Hope that helps to give you some perspective! GL to you!

tedandlaurie04 · March 2009

We had talked about it before we got married, and I was actually convinced it would take awhile before getting pg. We started early because we were both turning 30, and didn't want to wait much longer to try for kids. We got married in Sept 04, went off BC in Nov 04, and I got pg in Dec 04. It actually scared the sh!t out of me that it happened so quickly

Jessis62781 · March 2009

staycee:
you could start now and still not be pg by July... or even next April. There is just no way to know how this part of your future will play out.

Listen to Staycee, she is very wise.

KyleneD · March 2009

We did the exactly same thing. We had the "five-year plan" but it got pushed back to 7 years. I've been talking about TTC for a while but had to wait patiently for DH. He's ready now (no more debt!) but we have had no success yet. Had we known it would take this long we would've started sooner!

nikkifudgestick · March 2009

My H and I have said since we were just dating that we wanted to have kids. We both decided that I should stop bcps a few months before our wedding (almost a year ago) and thus far nothing has come of it. We just said at the time whatever happens will happen. Now we really feel ready (and maybe a little anxious) so I'm charting. ( I NEVER had to talk DH into it. He actually had to talk me into it if anything! lol)

LitlSara · March 2009

My DH has been wanting a baby for a couple of years, but I wanted to wait until I had tenure at work. So, I knew that Feb. 2009 would be about when I would know about tenure and that's when we would start trying. It was just my little thing, especially in this economy, that I wanted at least one of us to have job security. I wouldn't start trying until you are ready to have a baby though. We just got our BFP yesterday and this was our first cycle- it's rare but it can happen.

horizon1322 · March 2009

We started talking about the practicalities of timing about 2 or 3 years ago. We had planned on not starting TTC any earlier than 2011 (when I finish grad school). Then DH wanted to go ahead and start trying shortly after we got married. So we compromised, and now we're planning on starting TTC Fall 2010.

newbie425 · March 2009

We have always known that we wanted kids within a few years of getting married (may, 08). We were in Europe all summer long and had a lot of time to ourselves. We talked ?a lot and decided on timing. We knew that I wouldn't want to be really pregnant (third tri) this summer ('09) b/c we would be traveling as well. Now that I have some health issues, I am trying to get that settled before we TTC. But I did stop b/c pill and start taking PNV last fall. Our date was Feb. but it has been pushed back for now.?

I don't think that everyone can be 100% prepared, but if you have goals, and a plan, that will definitely help.?

TanyaRenee · March 2009

We both knew we wanted children going into our marriage. After we got married, we decided to wait at least 1 year. Our anniversary rolled around, and we were house hunting, so we decided to wait until we had a house and were settled in. I felt we were at that point last summer, so we talked about starting at the end of the summer. DH was still unsure at that time. So now we have been in our house and settled for almost a year and a half. We just started TTC.

swimrbride · March 2009

We actually set a date to start TTC at some point during our engagment. We decided that on our 2nd wedding anniversary we would start trying and that we would plan on buying a house that summer. We will have been married for 2 years in May and that is when we plan to start trying. So we probably set a date for everything close to 4 years ago

Gin*In*TN · March 2009

I say spontaneous is the way to go. Of course DH (we weren't married at the time) & I discussed it for about 2 days, ditched the BC, and 2 weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Doesn't get too much more spontaneous than that.?

rebus82 · March 2009

DH kinda randomly brought up being ready to have a kid one day. We were in Cold Stone and we both noticed a cute kid and that started a conversation about how he thought we were ready, and wondered if I thought so too. I said yeah. So I went off BC, but we didn't "officially" start trying (we avoided when I suspected I was fertile, but an oops would have been fine) until a year later and then I started charting. It wasn't a spontaneous decision, but not something we planned out three years in advance either.?

I think if you've discussed it frequently, it's not really spontaneous. You have to be willing to accept that it'll happen when it happens no matter what. Just because you start this month doesn't mean you'll get pregnant. It might be a year or more before you get pregnant.?

kristen230 · March 2009

We started to talk about it seriously about 3 months before we actually started trying. We started trying in January.

Ivana_Stolichnaya · March 2009

I had baby fever for a year or two, but I didn't mention it to my husband because it was a feeling that came and went. Finally last May we were on a camping trip with some friends. One of the couples brought their 3 month old and I fell deep into wanting to have a baby and couldn't hold it in. I started bringing it up and within a month I tossed out my pills. 8 cycles later I got my BFP.

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