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Why I'm so sensitive about my c/s

disbride061103disbride061103 member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

Not to beat a dead horse, but I feel like I jumped all over Sunndraggon this afternoon. After reading the follow up posts, I know she didn't mean to start anything and I admit I'm overly sensitive about the issue. 

I HAVE been told by several people that I didn't "give birth".  One of those people being my own mother.  I never felt a single contraction and DS turned breech 5 days before my EDD.  I know in my head that I gave birth to my son, but it really bothers me when people imply (directly or indirectly) that a c/s is not giving birth.  

There is such a negative attitude about c/s in general. I do feel like I'm judged for having a c/s and I  feel like I always need to explain WHY I had to have a c/s.   People who have never had a c/s comment on how horrible they are and how bad the recovery is.  I had a GREAT recovery and while I would like to have a VBAC with my next baby, I wouldn't be heartbroken for a repeat c/s.

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Re: Why I'm so sensitive about my c/s

  • xmasbabymamaxmasbabymama
    That sucks that people say that to you. I feel like I have to explain my CS too and I did go through labor and pushed. It's a no win, but if you feel good about it - who cares what other people think.
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  • CrazeyJaneyRCrazeyJaneyR member
    I've never once felt that way. I just don't care what other people think. I wanted a baby, and I got one, that was all that mattered to me.
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  • ShellyburgerShellyburger
    imagedisbride061103:

    There is such a negative attitude about c/s in general. I do feel like I'm judged for having a c/s and I? feel like I always need to explain WHY I had to have a c/s. ? People who have never had a c/s comment on how horrible they are and how bad the recovery is.? I had a GREAT recovery and while I would like to have a VBAC with my next baby, I wouldn't be heartbroken for a repeat c/s.

    I feel the same way. ?In fact I think I was luckier to have the c/s. ?My induction would have been horrible (not really effaced, dilated, he was way up high, turns out he had the cord around his butt and head). ?My recovery was great, born at 4pm up and about by noon the next day. ?Didnt feel a thing thanks to the spinal, my lady bits are in perfect working order and I could pee w/o a squirt bottle. ??

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  • EclypzeEclypze member

    Completely know where you're coming from.  I went to 40 weeks 2 days and "maybe" felt a contraction here and there, but i don't even know if it was that or BH.  None were more then menstrual cramps to me.

    I was supposed to be induced until 2 days before my due date and they felt her head was too large to fit through the birth canal and her weight looked like it was going to be large as well, so my OB said i'm having a C/S due to this.

    There are so many times that i wish i asked to let me try and have a vaginal delivery, and regret i just went along with what he said.  But, there are other days when i realize that my OB had the best of intrest in mind for me and DD and resulted in a no-stress delivery for my baby. (I on the otherhand was a nervous wreck lol)

     I feel i "didn't give birth" sometimes as well.. but DH reminds me either way, she came out of me...there for she was birthed regardless of how

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  • honeybeezhoneybeez
    I had one! I had gestational diabetes and a big baby that didn't drop. He would not have been able to fit thru the birth canal. You had a breach baby and you did what was needed medically. We have all given birth no matter how the baby came out! Don't let them get to you!
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  • EchowyspEchowysp member
    I'm sorry that people say that to you.  My best friend's husband says similar things because both of their kids were c/s.  Drives her crazy.
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  • j_knetsj_knets
    I feel the same way. My recovery hasn't been bad at all. I feel lucky as well that I ended up having a c-section. My DS weighed 9lb 14 oz and the cord was wrapped around his neck.
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  • darlingdoula08darlingdoula08
    I wish that I could say I knew how you felt, but I don't because I've never had one. All I can say is I know that it must be hard because I have watched women lay and cry over it because they don't want it. I would absolutely do it if my baby or I needed to. You need to have your feelings validated and if I offended you in any way I am so sorry, that was not my intent. I absolutely feel that you gave birth. I have done lots of VBACs so if you have any questions I would be happy to help if you would like.
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  • BBCfamilyBBCfamily member
    Labor and delivery happened so fast and were such a blur to me, I bet you actually went through more pain with recovering from surgery. The actual birth process is only a few hours out of the 9 months of pregnancy before and the years of motherhood after. Anyone who would say you didnt give birth is an idiot.
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  • ridesbuttonsridesbuttons member

    Tell anyone who says that you 'didn't give birth' to rub salt.  While I happen to have had both of my boys vaginally, I wouldn't have hesitated to have a c-section if it was in their best interests.

     

    Like the pp poster said, the way the child actually emerges from the mother is an insignificant part of the pregnancy (40 weeks) or the parenting (lifetime).

    promised myself I'd retire when I turned gold, and yet here I am
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  • pulchra81pulchra81
    I feel the exact same way.  I had to have a c-section because E was breech - we found out 5 days before my due date.  I feel pressure to have a VBAC because I feel like I should know what it is like to be in labor - and that E's birth was not the "normal" way to give birth.  My mom thinks I am crazy and says that I am not missing anything.  I probably will have a repeat c-section with # 2 because the risks associated with a VBAC scare me.
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  • Temp552270562505132Temp552270562505132

    yah tell anyone who says you didn't actually give birth to go kick rocks!  i had a csec.  after pushing for more than two hours and realizing that he was NOT coming out, literally did not fit, what else were we going to do?  let him live inside of me untill he went to college?  i mean come on! 

    i love that i had a c-sec.  i love it, it's my experience, and i own it!

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  • SwissPrincessBrideSwissPrincessBride
    I am sorry that people in your life are making you feel bad about that. It is insane to accuse you of not actually "giving birth". I went through 22 hours of labor then 3 hours of pushing and K was stuck and I ended up with an emergency c. I feel no shame and do not feel robbed as all that mattered at the end of the day was my daughter's health. Embrace your experience because its yours and no one else's.
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  • LucyPevensieLucyPevensie member

    I went to a group of midwives for all my prenatal care and was supposed to have a very natural, sorry "med-free" crunchy birth at their independent birth center ... well ... not so much!  We found out at 29 weeks my little guy was breech and that was that - he never turned.  I had a scheduled C at 39 weeks - found out he couldn't have turned (glad we opted out of having a version) because the cord was wrapped around his body and his neck several times and had literally tied him in place.  My surgeon - the top perinatologist at the hospital I went to (and a big supporter of the midwives) said that there was absolutely no other way for my baby to come out safely.  Basically - he would have been killed by an attempt at a vaginal birth. 

    I have never looked back.  And it's funny - my midwives were all worried about how I would feel emotionally about my C since it wasn't at all the birth I originally hoped for.  But I feel like the pp - that was the ONLY way my son could come out - my situation is the reason modern medicine is great - it saved my son's life.  I have zero regrets and TOTALLY feel like I "gave birth" - a giant baby exited my body - he just went through a window, not the door!  Popped out just like toast!  And he is wonderful and healthy and I am a mama who gave birth to a beautiful son.   

    Wheee!
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    "When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame

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  • cloud9climbercloud9climber

    I just tell people that say stupid shiit like "you didn't give birth" to suck it. ?I got a healthy baby and that's all that matters. ?

    Maybe they're jealous because they have stretched out vagina's and when they sneeze they pee all over themselves?? ?Just sayin'.?

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  • NidubbNidubb
    I totally get what you are saying, but screw them!  You have a healthy beautiful baby.
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