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Parenting after a Loss
Dear Avery (my thoughts about this new pregnancy)
I'm not ready to publish this in my blog yet because I'm afraid somebody IRL might see it. But I know some of you read my "dear avery" blog so I thought I'd c&p it here to share with you.
Dear Avery,
Daddy and I have some very exciting news for you. The dolly in this picture is not the only baby from the Bahamas we brought home for you. That's right, my sweet girl, you are going to be a BIG SISTER!!!!
This news is a surprise to us -- a very welcome surprise! Some people might tell me I'm crazy. They might think that you're going to get jipped. You will only be 13 months when this new baby comes home -- still a baby yourself! I'm going to need to figure out ?a lot of things. How will I hold you both? Bathe you both? Feed you both? Soothe you both? How will I ever carry you AND a diaper bag AND a newborn in a car seat?
Some people might ask me another question too. How will I ever love you both?
Yes, you are going to have to share a lot of things. You will need to share your toys and your books and maybe even your clothes. And sometimes you might not be so happy about that.?
But let me be clear on this. You will?never?need to share my love. There's no limit to love. It just grows. And Daddy and I will always have plenty?to go around. Bringing home a new baby won't ever mean that we'll love you any less. If anything, it will mean that we'll love you more.?
You will always be our first born. The first kick in my tummy. The first smile that melted us. The first giggle that filled our hearts. These things will?always?belong to you.
And now you get to be the BIG SISTER, something that I never got to be myself. I always dreamed of having little sibling close in age. It was my biggest wish.?This new baby is going to?adore?you. And you are going to just?love?having somebody to play with. The two of you will share a bond that is different than anything Daddy and I could ever offer you. And I can't wait to witness it.
No, sweet child, I don't think you're getting jipped at all. In fact, I think you and your little brother or sister are just about the luckiest babies in the whole wide world. I am so SO happy for you.
I love you so much.
Love,Mommy
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Dear Avery (my thoughts about this new pregnancy)
that was very sweet!!
When are you going to announce to ppl IRL?
umm, never? We told MIL yesterday and I told SIL the day before. I won't tell my parents until after my 1st u/s (I'm thinking maybe April Fool's Day?) and then I think we'll keep it to ourselves until it's too obvious to hide anymore. I am dreading people's comments about it.?
Awww, I've got tears in my eyes! That's really beautiful.
(And you have succeeded in making me want to TTC like, right now, instead of waiting for the summer like we've planned!)
Really? Dont be ashamed! Do you know how many ppl IRL life i know with babies only a year apart? One of my friends did this when she was 21!! Be proud of your decision. If ppl gripe, WTH do they care, they are not the ones doing it!! I think it is awesome!!
Ditto! I think many people are doing this now, and many more want this. I know why you're dreading people's comments, but I totally agree with everything Mclstar said here!
Thank you ladies! You are so supportive.
I personally am VERY happy with our news (and so is DH!) and am actually looking forward to the challenge of it all, but it seems like a lot of people think this is just crazy and would not want to be in my shoes in a million years.
I also have lots of friends who are trying to get pregnant or who are struggling (financially and/or emotionally) with one baby and I feel like I am being "selfish" by having two.
While can I understand this to a point (one of my closest friends is struggling with major MIF), you are NOT being selfish by having 2. This is your life, your decision and your friends should be happy for you. You cant put your life on hold b/c of other people's struggles. and I am sure your friends you are talking about, wouldnt want you to!
As much as it may be hard for my friend, she is very supportive and happy for us having Hailey. She has even told me she wouldnt have it any other way and would never in a million years want me to struggle with what she is or put anything on hold b/c they are have trouble.
That was very well written! I love it. I bet you are going to encourage many SAL mommies to conceive sooner than they thought they would. Geez, even I who am scared to death to have another baby have started to consider one more. My DH is over the moon with excitement. If Yianni hadn't been such a handful and DH was here more than 98 days at a time, then I would join you.
Your pg is convenient in a way. Think about being able to use the car seat Avery used and the whole slew of baby gear. You won't forget your new baby skills. Plus, Avery does need a playmate. DH tells me this often. I think you are very lucky.
Lots of hugs and love.
Soooo sweet I love it.
Kerri
ok, you ladies convinced me -- I just published this blog entry! I added DH's video to it too! Amazing how much I can get done in one nap. DD got a shot this morning and has been sleeping for a LONG time.
I haven't shared my blog with many people in real life, not my family or anything. Just a few really good friends. I'm ok with them knowing. I have nothing to be ashamed of!
?
I am SO sorry. the last thing I want to do is make anybody sad! I hope you get your BFP very soon!!?
So sweet. You write so well.
I really think you are not jipping Avery or the new baby. You and your DH seem like wonderful parents and I think your little ones are very lucky to have you two as parents.
You shouldn't feel like you're being selfish by having 2 babies when some of your friends don't have any yet. I would think of it this way. Everything happens for a reason and we are never given anything we can't handle. Obviously, someone above feels that you are more than prepared and ready for 2
Awww...your letter to Avery is so sweet and thoughtful! She is very lucky to have you as her mama!
And I just viewed the video of your DH...so cute!!! It's funny how many times he had to roll her over to figure it out!
Congrats again!!!
that is really sweet.
I thought it was really bizarre how my BIL/SIL would tell my neice that they werent' going to have any time for her when the twins were born (she was 4 at the time)... Way to cause some resentment before they were born.
I can't wait until Avery becomes a big sister so I can tell her all the ways she is going to be able to help mommy.