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3rd Trimester
Probably flamable post about mixed race families
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Re: Probably flamable post about mixed race families
My nephew looks just like my sister and nothing like my BIL. They are both white. I think it has more to do with luck of the draw in genes and which are more dominant.
As an aside, I read a news story about a set of fraternal twin girls born a couple years ago. Both parents were both half white and half black. One girl looks white and the other girl looks black. Thought it was really interesting how genetics work like that.
I dont think you should have to appologize. I think people are taking this way too far.
I completely understand where you're coming from. One of my best friends has a child who looks NOTHING like her. And people DO assume the child is adopted. It makes my friend feel kind of bad that she should have to explain this to others, and it makes me feel bad for her. Maybe it makes me a bad person, I don't care, I just know that if I had a kid and they looked nothing like me, OF COURSE I would love them, but yeah, it would bother me if people were always assuming he/she wasn't even mine.
Ok Hippy, I'll bite.
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Javi is mixed race. ?His dad is Bolivian (indigenous at that) and I am Scots/Irish and about as pale as they come. ?I have been asked if he's "mine," if he's "mixed," and if I am upset he doesn't look more like me, if I am upset that he's not "whiter" all by people I don't know on the street. ?I throw up in my mouth a little bit every time some random stranger doubts I am his mom. ?I also *HATE* that people assume he's somehow not "mine" even if he was not biologically my child - adopted, etc. ?They're still your kids. ?Finally, I hate that people cannot see past skin/eye/haircolor and see that there are some features of mine in him - the way he squinches his nose, his smile, etc. ?So yeah. I swear he looks like me, even if others don't think so. ?Why? Because I love him, and I see myself in him regardless of his skin color.
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Rant over. ?
My DH is african american, DD is light like me but you can def tell who her daddy is. I think if you are sad that your kid doesn't look like you - you maybe shouldn't have kids. DD is with DH all the time and people know that he isn't the uncle, stepdad...
this is all WOW!
So true.
My baby girl will be bi racial and I know that she will probably look more like my DH ( who is hispanic ) vs. me ( white ) I am not one bit sad that she will look like him. I think he is very good looking and his sisters are beautiful so I know I will have a good looking girl.
I'm white and my fiance is hispanic. I already know that the chances of having a blonde haired blue eyed baby like me is slim and none. Although I would love for my daughter to have my eyes (hair is dye-able, so that doesn't matter. She will prob color it once she's older anyway.), since I love blue eyes, but I also realize that she will prob end up with the perfect tan (a combo of mine and her fathers skin), and I could tell from the 4D ultrasound I got, she is going to have alot of similar features that me (and my family) have. More so then her dad. (Thank god! My fiance as a girl would be UGLY! lol)
So, although she may not physically resemble both of us, he will have traits from both of us. And I think that's all that matters.
Finally, a reply that makes sense. I am just shaking my head.
While I don't think it's a big deal if my kids look like me or not (some of them do, some of them not so much) I myself was adopted and I know that my family and I did get sick of the comments about how different I looked. People are shockingly bold about prying, and it's hard for many people to say "Now that is really none of your business!" I do remember feeling like I was in a very unwelcome spotlight when people were scrutinzing my face for traces of my parents, and feeling tense while I waited for my parents to respond to comments about our differences. So while I couldn't care less if my kids look like clones of me or not, I am glad that they look enough like me or their father that they won't endure that awkwardness.
FWIW, the things that I find the most beautiful about each of my kids are usually features of the man that I love that I can see in them.
When you learn how to spell apologize you can move on to learning to spell and comprehend the term enabling. I'll give you a head start...enabling is not a good thing.
My son is the spitting image of his Italian father. I could only be whiter if I was carved out of ice, so I knew my blue eyes, pale skin and light hair weren't going to hold on against his dark hair, black eyes and olive skin.
But every day, there is something of me I see in him. The shape of his face, the tilt of his eyes, the dimple in his chin. That's me.
More important though...he is mine because I love him, and he loves me. If there was never a visible sign, if I conceived him with someone else's egg, if we flew to Russia to pick him from an orphanage, he is ours because of love. It wouldn't matter if he was black, Asian, hispanic, Indian, Middle Eastern, etc. His blood would be ours because our hearts would beat every time his did.
And for what it's worth, mixed race children are stunningly beautiful, and to my eye, usually more lovely than the sum of their parts. I have known many in real life, and "met" more on the Nest. An example? Lanie's Jo may look like her Filipino father at first glance, but there if you are able to look past the superficial, there is plenty of Lanie in that utterly beautiful child.
My SIL is white and BIL is black and both of their kids look just like her. They have blond straight hair, blue eyes, and really really light skin. My daughter that is white is actually darker than one of her sons. Their family has super dominant traits because my DD looks just like DH.
With that said I don't really don't understand why it is a big deal if your kids look like you or not because they are your kids and the only person that should matter to is you.
I'm half mexican & half german & I look like both of my parents - I definately have my dads pale skin...My aunt who is mexican married an Irish guy & my cousin has red hair & freckles...You never know. Genes are wierd that way.
Even though JK+8 kids are Jon's coloring they do resemble Kate & a few act just like her. Looks aren't the only thing that makes up a person.
This whole post is just ridiculous.
When my son was born I saw no resemblance between he and I. I was once even asked if he was mine, although I thought it was funny it didn't bother me. I don't need my son to have brown hair, green eyes, and pale skin to bond with him. And it does not bother me in any way that he looks like his father, in fact I kinda assumed he would. eh, duh.
What does bother me is the assumption that because my son and I don't "look alike" that we don't have just as strong of a connection as we would if he were my "clone"(as you put it). Also, everyday I see myself in him more and more. We will never have the same skin tone or eye color but that doesn't mean we don't look alike. And even if we had no similarities that anyone could see - he is my child - he is perfect and I wouldn't have him any other way.