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Not sharing, waiting for news from friends/family...

cesicesi
in 1st Trimester

So dh and I will wait till our first ultrasound on tuesday to tell the kids; but I feel compelled to hold out sharing with a neighbor who I get together with weekly for playdates b/c she miscarried in Nov. and has been trying since September. 

My sister has been trying for two months and although she is clearly very excited when I shared with her today, she mentioned how disappointed she has been.  When I told a co-worker last night, he congratulated me of course, but also remarked how he and his wife have been trying since Nov.  I feel a little guilty b/c dh and I didn't plan this (though we are thrilled), and it's like the stork got the wrong house.  Anyone else holding out?

Mercedes DD Greta Lisae 4.28.05 DD Ava Maren 6.23.06 DS Finnegan Thomas 8.10.07 DS Declan William 9.23.09
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Re: Not sharing, waiting for news from friends/family...

  • franciscazfranciscaz member
    We are being selective... there might be a problem so we felt we should tell DH's family.  My brother's wife m/c last month though so I told DB and told him when he feels they are ready to hear the news we will announce on that side.  Friends, co-workers, etc won't know until 13 or 18 wks even (if I don't show again FOREVER like last time).  I'm a pretty private person IRL.
    Mom to Harmon 1/17/08 and twins Rachel & Callum 8/28/09 Photobucket 29o0v13.jpg
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  • LizBuschLizBusch
    we didn't hold out, but i have those same feelings of "guilt" (for lack of a better word) sometimes. after we told, we found out that one of my coworkers has been trying for SEVEN years to have a kid and another of our friends has been trying for a long time as well, and here we are getting pregnant easily without even really trying...sometimes i definitely feel bad!
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  • AEberlyAEberly
    I have had 2 miscarriages between my son and my now pregnancy(5 weeks).  It was very hard for me to hear about other people's pregnancies, especially if they weren't planning it or if it took them very little time to get pregnant. My two miscarriages were a year apart, and now almost a year later I am pregnant again and hoping this one sticks.  It is not something you should feel guilty about, but I would suggest you be a little sensitive when you share the news and talk about your pregnancy.  I was always happy for those people and just sad at times because I thought it wasn't fair.
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  • wildridewildride

    I have a similar situation with my sister in law, who I love dearly and I know has been trying for over a year, and one of my best friends who has been trying for over 2 years. ?We had 2 cycles and boom. ?It was hard to hide that from my SIL because she and I were talking about it in December, how fun it would be if we got pregnant together blah blah blah. ?When we told her, she was?exuberantly?happy for us and didn't say anything at all about her trying for so long.

    I am very nervous about my other girlfriend, though, because she has really really wanted kids all her life and I only just decided I wanted kids a few months ago.. I don't even know if she's aware we decided to have kids, never mind about getting PG. ?I will try to tell her some time when we don't have to hang out the rest of the night, because her personality is probably to be happy then upset. ?BUT I have no say about the reasons the universe is like it is...

    Anyway, I can understand where you are coming from, maybe just be sensitive about how you go about it and don't emphasize how long it took.?

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  • goodi_2_shoes_19goodi_2_shoes_19
    My BFF and her DH have been trying for like a total of two years. They've gone through a few fertility screenings to see if there were any problems but nothing. I was talking to her a few days up til my BFP and she was the one that told me I should test. I did and it was + I was in complete shock. I was only charting for two months. Of course I told her and told her I was sorry too. I felt like it wasnt fair. It only took me two charting cycles and her she was doing all she could for two years. She said she was happy for me and not to be sorry. I ended up telling everyone after a week though. I rather have my family and friends there for me in case something happens rather than go through it by my self. Knock on wood that nothing bad does happen.
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  • Toots4droolsToots4drools

    We tried to wait until the end of the 1st trimester but I couldn't keep my mouth shut.  We were so excited when we found out...We had to tell our parents then a week later we told our siblings.  I had to tell my closest friends but the DH has been really good.

    If something happens (knock on wood), I think it's better to have support from your friends and family.

    Good luck!

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  • amramirezamramirez

    im seven weeks and we are holding out on telling our parents until the first ultrasound and i decided not to tell anyone at work just for the simple fact that everyone likes to make their smart a** comments lol. i have a five year old and a six month old. we are so happy for this 3rd one since we want possibly four in all.

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