honestly- whats the hardest part? and #1 thing you needed

quickchick · February 2009

What was the HARDEST part of the first few days home? I am just trying to mentally prepare myself for whatever could be ahead... Do you think it was sleepless nights? breastfeeding? pain from recovery?crazy inlaws lol?

Also is there anything (that you can buy) that you could NOT live without that you didnt realize you needed before your baby was born?

thanks so much ladies for taking the time to respond... i know you are busy bees!

CMDR513 · February 2009

It's hard to adjust to the "non-schedule." Each day is quite different. It doesn't help being home by myself from 2:30 PM- 1:15 AM.

HarrietNJMommy · February 2009

The sleep deprivation is the hardest part for me. It still is.

The #1 thing I can't live without is a Miracle Blanket for swaddling.?

Andrewsgal · February 2009

For me Lack of sleep was/is the hardest part of both kids. I could not live without my hotsling, Bjorn, miracle blanket and breast pump (buy a good one!)

Crazycrustacean · February 2009

The hardest part for me was bfing. My nips were killing me. Lanolin worked wonders & I couldn't have lived without it. DD also hated her car seat. If I had known then what I know now, I would've gotten a different one. Or at least put the extra foam into sooner.?

I really would have loved a boppy lounger for her to relax on. We have a regular boppy, but I was afraid to let her sleep in it.?

noimnotmarried · February 2009

HARDEST part of the first few days home bfing.

could NOT live without swaddle mes.

KeepingItLowKey · February 2009

The hardest part for me was pain from recovery (vaginal birth). And then my second week home (TMI alert) the constipation. I had to go to the ER because it was so bad! Colace is your friend.

Everything with baby was much easier for us than I expected. She was a long sleeper from the start and the times she was up in the middle of the night were AWESOME for me because I was working 2am-10am up until I delivered and getting 1-2 hours of sleep- so being up with the baby on the couch totally beat being up at work sitting at my desk.

There wasn't much that we didn't know we needed. We loved our bouncer and SwaddleMes at first, and needed more newborn clothes than we had (baby was 8 lbs 4 oz and in newborn clothes for 6 weeks) but that's really it.

GirlGenius · February 2009

Sleep deprivation while trying to nurse and recover from the birth! Hands down the hardest. Having him was a wild joy, but the agony of being without sleep was hardest because every day you're STILL tired, if not more so.

Weirdly, the Peanut baby sling was the big suprise those early days! We had all the other unsurprising basics covered and were set. I was on my back for a week cause of my tear so DH would put the baby in the sling and walk him around and make meals for us to give me a chance to get extra sleep. The baby LOVED it and rested well in it and he and DH really bonded.

After 4 weeks, though, he HATED that sling and now loves my Moby!

shinysparklybubbles · February 2009

I'd have to say everything!! But the thing that pissed me off the most was people just telling us they were coming over and not asking. I had DS at 745 pm on a Monday, everyone was there waiting, saw him for 20 mins and left, this was fine with me. The next day the in laws show up at the hospital without even asking, for pete's sake I had just given birth 15 hours ago! I was very annoyed about that.

I wasn't prepared for how emotional I'd be once we left the hospital. We left on Wed and I cried a lot till Sunday but it gets better.

Even if you plan on breastfeeding, make sure you have some bottles and formula just in case. DS stopped nursing once we left the hospital and it was a nightmare at 3 in the morning trying to sterilize nipples, etc.

CrazeyJaneyR · February 2009

i wasn't prepared for how crazy i would feel from the hormones - that kicked in about 1 week after she was born.

?I couldn't live w/out my brest friend nursing pillow.?

userdeleted · February 2009

1. Lack of sleep was the hardest part by far. I swear that I started hallucinating from lack of sleep in the middle of the night sometimes! Just know, when you're in the thick of it, that it's only temporary. I'd say that by about 8 weeks DS was sleeping better - to the point where I didn't feel crazy. By 12 weeks his nighttime awakenings were down to only 2, and by 16 weeks he's down to 0-1 nighttime awakenings. Every baby is different, but almost every baby will eventually sleep

2. No, there was nothing that I didn't think of beforehand that I desperately needed. Don't go buying up tons of stuff now - you'll probably never use half of it. It's not so hard to send DH to the store after the baby is here to get something that you realize might be helpful

3. Now that I typed out #2 I realized there was one thing. We had DS sleep in the pnp bassinett for the first 2 months. We didn't realize until he got here that the pnp mattress was way too uncomfortable for him. He wouldn't sleep on it until we got another bassinett mattress from BRU that was softer.

4. You are a very cute pregnant lady! I love your second siggy pic. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

robertsgrl · February 2009

Hardest part = trying to recover from surgery while getting no sleep. i would literally get 30min of sleep at a time and was delirious. Also, emotionally was very hard. I was very much depressed and still shocked from everything that had happened. My biggest mistake was not mentally preparing that c/s was a possibility. My pregnancy was low risk problem free up until the very end, so I never thought I would ever in a million years need a c/s.

Couldn't live without = my mother coming to stay with us. She stayed for 2wks and did all of the cooking, cleaning, walked the dogs, took shifts with the baby, and even brought food up to my bedroom so that I'd eat. She was WONDERFUL. I honestly don't think DH and I would've survived if she hadn't been there to help.

Jilybean17 · February 2009

I would say the hardest part is BF and getting up at all hours of the night to BF. One thing I couldn't live without is our swing. I didn't realize DS would have to be in constant motion! He hated the bouncer early on so the swing allowed me to get things done around the house without carrying him everywhere 24/7!

CMDR513 · February 2009

Blankets

KTH919 · February 2009

I agree with others that sleep deprivation is the hardest part. I would highly recommend that you get a book about babies and sleep. I wish I would have read one before DS was born. It would have helped me realize what newborn sleeping tendencies are, plus it would have helped me start good sleeping habits from the start. I didn't realize that I would have to undo a lot of the bad habits that I created for him. For example, he's always fallen alseep in our arms or with us sitting in front of him in the swing. Now, we're trying to correct our bad habits to make him a better sleeper. There are plenty of books out there. I have Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and The No-Cry Sleep Solution. Good luck with your new one!

eris1995 · February 2009

BF'ing was very difficult in the beginning. The lack of sleep wasn't bothering me so much at first, but now I am beyond sleep deprived. The best thing I did was see a LC, I wish I had seen her sooner when we were having problems, it would've saved me a lot of stress.

He doesn't like the sling, but loves the baby bjorn. That really helps out when we're out running errands.

jewelsonu · February 2009

the first night was the hardest. breastfeeding is not as easy as i thought it would be. i was on the phone with an LC at 1 am my first night home.

you are very sore when you come home. i feel much better now. make sure you have pads, colace, motrin for when you get home.

i am thrilled with my pnp. ds has been sleeping in there. it has a newborn napper so it is been very nice.

your hormones will be out of control. i was not prepared for that.

hjl050308 · February 2009

The hardest part has been the sleep deprivation and the feelings that go along with bf-ing (he lost almost a pound in the first week which is normal but I beat myself up over it and doubted my ability to be his sole source of nutrition and almost had DH buy me formula). Honestly, the hardest day so far was the night he came home. Nobody prepared myself and my husband for how hard the first night is. I.e. we took him upstairs at 10 (we now know that's too early) nad put him down after being asleep for about 5 minutes. Once he felt he was out of our arms he screeched and screamed until430 that morning. It is all a learning experience, to be honest. I am still in the very early stages

Things I couldn't live without, the boppy and support from DH and family (don't be afraid to ask for help!). Also, we didn't have any newborn clothes (OB and all tests said he was going to be over 10 lbs but ended up being 8 lbs 1 oz) so DH had to go buy outfits to get us through until he gained more weight.

Sunny1inTucson · February 2009

In the first few days, BFing was painful. Nips were sore and every few hours you had to do it again! Now it is a breeze though.

I couldn't have lived without the newborn boppy lounger and I suppose swaddle mes or just a good swaddling blanket.

ETA: Ah yes, the constipation. My muscles were like - no, we are not doing any more pushing. Lol. I eventually had to have DH go out and buy me some stool softener because nothing was happening down there.

quickchick · February 2009

rach- THANKS!!!

noimnotmarried · February 2009

i also agree w/ those who mentioned the hormones and feeling emotional. i wasn't expecting the mood swings .

Alligator · February 2009

Hands down, it was the lack of sleep for me! I'm finally (at almost 6 months) feeling like I'm rested. There were nights where I would find myself being kind of rough with DS b/c he wouldn't sleep and I needed sleep sooo badly. Next baby if I ever feel myself getting that way, I am going to ask my Mom or in-laws to come over and help so that I can get some needed rest. I had a natural pain-free waterbirth and I always say that was nothing compared to taking care of the baby for the first month or so. Good luck! (and enjoy your baby!!!!!!!)

robertsgrl · February 2009

KeepingItLowKey:
And then my second week home (TMI alert) the constipation. I had to go to the ER because it was so bad! Colace is your friend.

ditto. start taking Colace now, even if you think you don't need it. please just trust me on this one. I had to be manually disimpacted. Besides being in labor, it was the 2nd most painful thing ever.

also, go by BRU and buy at least one Kiddopotamus swaddle me. it's the one with the velcro straps. DS slept 100% better when swaddled and starting at 1wk of age could break out of the regular swaddling blankets.

ncbelle · February 2009

The hardest part was letting go of any expectation of a schedule or doing anything aside from taking care of baby.

The one thing I couldn't live without was DH's help and support - although I guess you can't buy that. The one buyable thing I definitely have to have is some sort of sling or wrap to wear the baby in.

eris1995 · February 2009

KTH919:
I would highly recommend that you get a book about babies and sleep. I wish I would have read one before DS was born. It would have helped me realize what newborn sleeping tendencies are, plus it would have helped me start good sleeping habits from the start.

I second this 100 % ! Now that DS is 2 months and his sleep has gotten worse I just started ready Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. And let me tell you how difficult it is to read it while sleep deprived and taking care of an infant.

I really wish I had started reading parenting books while pg also. I knew all about products and what supplies I needed, but I didn't know exactly what to expect at different stages. Someone can always run out to the store and get you supplies.

Alligator · February 2009

Oh, and I couldn't have lived without my Moby Wrap. DS always wanted to be held by me and it's the only way I could eat or brush my teeth or anything. I still use it a lot, especially if we are going shopping or something.

Also, we ended up cosleeping in the very beginning. I hated that DH wasn't with us, but he is a wild sleeper so he would go into the guest room. I still wasn't getting a ton of sleep b/c DS would grunt or move or whatever, but it helped that we could face one another and he could eat (or just suck) and I would doze off.

MoinMoin · February 2009

sleep deprivation was and still is the hardest part. i knew i wouldn't be getting much sleep - but man, nothing prepares you for it. i was absolutely delirious for the first month. getting better bit by bit.

i couldn't live without my Boppy pillow, lots of burb clothes, my baby carrier (we have an ergo) and blankets. for me personally i went through a lot of tylenol, colace, and snacks. i wasn't prepared for the crazy hormones - i cried a ton that first month.

peanutontheway · February 2009

Hardest part: being SO tired and BFing.

Couldn't live without: Boppy and breast pump (I have Medela PISA)

samfish2bcrab · February 2009

I had a vaginal delivery with forceps so ice packs, tucks pads, the squirt bottle you get at the hospital, tons of advil and tylenol and Bran muffins were imperitive. Loose track pants and gigantic pads (NOT the always brand) and underwear that I didn't mind tossing. In retrospect i wish i'd had one of those donut things to sit on.

Duting the first week i had to go out and buy an extra alarm clock so i could get up for feedings. Lila needed to be woken every 2.5-3 hours.

Also a book in which to record the times of poops, pees and ounces eaten.

bbnaynay · February 2009

I would say be prepared for anything! The hardest part for me was the inconsolable crying. My baby was colicky and I was not expecting that at all. She would cry for hours at a time for no real reason. The only thing that would keep her from crying was breastfeeding (and occasionally the bathroom fan). DH and I both expected crying but nothing prepared us for that. It did get better but those first 6 weeks were really hard. What got me through was the support from my husband and doing my best to stay positive. My mantra was, "it will get bettter, this is temporary." Hopefully you won't have to deal with anything like that though!

I could not live without the boppy and her bouncer. Both have made our lives much easier!

robertsgrl · February 2009

One more thing...go buy the DVD of Happiest baby on the block. Watch it now with your DH. Neither one of you will have time to watch it after your LO is here, and the DVD was so much more helpful than the book (because you could see examples of what to do as well and because real moms were on there telling their stories, etc.) It's only 15min long and didn't cost much at all but was priceless. I think this is the one thing every single person on here and everyone I know IRL is behind. My OB who has 2 kids even said it was the only book/DVD that ever helped her.

MrsAMB07 · February 2009

Sleep deprevation, non-schedule, and breastfeeding were the hardest. Surprisingly recovery was the easiest, but I think I was pretty lucky.

I wish I would have gotten a moby or other kind of wrap/carrier and def. will with #2. Other than that we needed some really good swaddling blankets because I didn't realize DS would depend on it quite so much, and be so good at breaking free from day 1!

InLovewSB · February 2009

Alot of things are hard those first few weeks.

It's hard dealing with the conflicting advice - LC say feed on demand, baby feeds constantly, mom says set a schedule, nipples say OWW! It's hard dealing with husband and messy house and dirty laundry and dishes. It's hard getting no sleep and not always being able to sleep when baby naps. It's hard (because of the hormones) to see your still flabby belly and still swollen feet and still black belly button and wonder when they'll go back to normal. It's hard to deal with the effects of a c-section when you wanted a natural birth. It's hard to handle a baby that cries and cried no matter what you do, just can't be consoled. It's hard to eat right when day is night and night is day. It's hard to just accept that you are always covered in baby puke and your hair hasn't been washed for two days and you can't remember the last time you brushed your teeth. In fact... it's hard to deal with the fact that you can't remember, literally, ANYTHING because of the sleep deprivation. Even now, I stop mid-sentence because I've forgotten what I was going to say.

It is frickin' hard. And you look back after a few days and wonder how you are even able to do this at all and still function. But before you know it, the worst is over - the baby sleeps four hours in a row, your nipples stop hurting, your husband stops acting like baby#2, your prepregnancy pants almost start to fit again, you bathe yourself with some schedule of normalcy, and you have a decent meal.

So when it's at its worst, just keep chanting to yourself - it does get better, it DOES get better.

The number one thing that I couldn't have lived without was my husband. He provided my few moments of peace, of levity, of sanity. There were moments he drove me crazy and I wanted to cry, but I don't know how I would've done it without him. Seriously.

PhilsWife07 · February 2009

The sleeplessness was killer. This was largely in part related to breastfeeding for me. And I had a c-section so I was extra exhausted by my recovery, too. I can't stress this enough: SLEEP NOW!

AmyDrinkie · February 2009

The hardest parts were doctoring my episiotomy and prompting my husband to help me with stuff (he was, and still is, clueless). ?Not getting sleep was hard too, but it was easier for me to accept that than the physical pain I felt.

If you are going to BF, GET SOME NIPPLE CREAM. ?I cannot stress this enough. ?Personally I prefer the Medela kind much better than Lansinoh b/c it's runnier and doesn't hurt as much to spread on sore nips. ?Around here I could only find it at the lactation center at the hospital but now my Target carries it. ?BRU probably has it too but there isn't one in my area.

Also, going along w/ doctoring the episiotomy, get some Dermoplast spray @ Walgreens. ?The can my hospital gave me ran out on my 3rd day @ home!

AmyDrinkie · February 2009

Oh - also, do you have pets? ?We have a lab and a cat that are VERY co-dependent, and I really wish we'd have gotten rawhide bones and toys beforehand. ?Of course we were not able to play and snuggle with them right away so something to distract them would have been very helpful.

KristenJcksn · February 2009

The hardest part for me was everyone wanting to see DD, I felt like I never got time alone with her to get to know her. Next time I'll probably make people wait to see her, bitchy, but I don't care! You need time to bond with your baby!

amarriedbttrfli · February 2009

Hardest part(s) - there are multiple

Sleep deprivation

Recovering from c-section (I was in labor for 12 hours, pushed for 3 hours, and then had a c-section. Every muscle in my body hurt PLUS I had a huge incision in my stomach.)

DH going back to work / anticipation of the first day home (It wasn't as bad as I thought, but it was lonely. Still is.)

Being stuck in the house, all day, every day

Stuff I couldn't live without for the first couple weeks:

My glider - it was one of the only comfortable seat in the house after my c-section and it was great for breastfeeding

Boppy pillow

Lanolin - my nipples HURT

Pump - DH had to go out and buy one the first day we were home

Newborn clothes - DD came earlier than expected and lost about 10% of her weight in the hospital, so DH needed to go and buy more newborn clothes (If she went full term she would have been about 9 lbs.)

Stuff I can't live without now:

Bouncer (with vibration) - she sleeps in it at night

Swing (with vibration) - she naps in it during the day

Swaddle Mes - we have Swaddle Mes, Sleep Sacks and the Miracle Blanket and so far we like the Swaddle Mes the best. They are the easiest to get on and off.

midwestgal08 · February 2009

I think that I allowed too many friends and relatives to be there when we got home. ?I ended up getting completely overwhelmed and sending people home early so we could figure out how to mix a bottle. ?(By the way, you'll probably be on an emotional roller coaster.) ?

?The lack of sleep was/is difficult. ?My best advice is to stick to your guns. ?Get to know your baby before you let your mother or mother-in-law infiltrate your house with advice. ?

JimsBride08 · February 2009

The hardest was BFing and not being able to go upstairs. I couldn't live without my Boppy and breast pump! Engorgement was awful and I had major oversupply for the first week.