- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
how do you deal with other people's unruly children?
We go to a playgroup twice a week that has people from all over the world. There is one little girl who is just out of control. Some of the other 3-4 year old little girls are hyper, and not always careful, but not really a problem. Today, during circle music time, she picked up a little plastic chair and was waving it around. Her mom was just singing the songs and ignoring her, so I took it from her and put it back at the table. I was concerned that the babies, who sit on the side in bouncers during this time, were going to get hit (she came within a foot of one).
Later, this same little girl took a toy from my dd (which I don't think is a huge dea), but when dd reached for it a few minutes later, the little girl shoved her in the chest and pushed her down. I picked up dd, comforted her (she wasn't hurt but upset), then said to the little girl, calmly but firmly (a la Supernanny) "It's not okay to push people. You need to apologize." She didn't, and another mom told me that she doesn't speak English (and later told me she doesn't really speak anything). I know the girl's mom saw what happened, but did nothing. The mom and girl and Indian, but the mom speaks good English.
So-what do you do when a kid is being mean, physically aggressive, or dangerous around other kids? I am totally okay with correcting other people's kids' behavior, because I'm a teacher and that's what I do. I don't want to overstep my bounds, though, and become "that mom" at playgroup, but I also don't want to wait until a kid gets really hurt before it's taken seriously.
Thanks for reading. This got kind of long because it's also a vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: how do you deal with other people's unruly children?
I am a teacher too, so I do the same thing you do and correct other peoples children only because it is in my nature to do so, especially when they do not! I have a friend who I recently reconnected with and she has a 16 month old who she lets RULE the house! So when them come over to my house he does the same, climbs on my table and chairs. Opens all of my cabinets and empties them. Just crazy, and she at first would just laugh at him, so I finally spoke up and said something to him, like if you climb on my chair again I am going to put you in a time-out. And sure enough he did, so I put him in it. Only for 1 minute, later my friend confessed she had no idea what to do so that is why they just laugh at him, because they are embaressed, niether her or her husband have ever been around kids! So since then I have helped her try to re-direct him, taught her how to do a time-out, etc. and he has been much better since! Sometimes it is just that they don't know what to do!
Generally, I don't interefere unless another child's behavior is affecting the safety or well-being of my child. I have no issues with it since I was a teacher (now a SAHM). I try to do things by the book - never raise my voice or try to intimidate, stay positive, and explain in a way that a child can understand. Thankfully, it doens't happen very often though...maybe twice in 2 years.