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my mother just yelled and used my middle name

BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member
in Babies on the Brain

Which means she is direly serious. ?

I called, like good daughters do, just to say 'hi' and because she had a bad cold when I had last spoken to her last friday (I think). ?When we spoke last week I talked to her about how I am beginning to consider the possibility of having a baby by myself. She, being an all-around amazing person eager for her first grandchild, offered child care. So, we talk about her having a cold and about my work day, then she asks, 'so, how are you in other ways?' So I tell her that I was 'fine'. ?So she asked again and I told her about my last client visit of the day.

So then she asked again and when I didn't start talking baby plans she virtually exploded.

'Emilie Lynne you know what I mean, and I have been doing research, and (I was too stunned to hear my middle name that I forget what else she said here). I reminded her that I am just beginning to think about it and it is going to be expensive and I am going to be prepared but she was having none of it. Why? ?Because my mother has essentially decided that in order to have a grandchild she will do ANYTHING. Essentially all I need to do is get pregnant and be the gestational carrier. Seriously.

I asked her is the crack she got was good because it is important to get safe crack. I have some clients who could set her up for a fair price. She did not respond super-well to this. I tried to explain that I don't really want to merely be a surrogate mother for her next child, but that I am working on it in hopes of being a mother soon and though it may not seem possible, I want this more than she does.

?

I suspect that some of you are thinking I should never have told her anything about my thoughts about getting pregnant on my own. But I am too close to her not to and just couldn't be luckier to have her in my corner.?

(Doesn't mean she isn't ?a bit crazy.)?



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Re: my mother just yelled and used my middle name

  • weelass24weelass24 member
    Your mother is awesome.
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  • crownedbeecrownedbee member

    I probably would have reacted the same way you did.  It's important that she's there to emotionally support this decision, but also that she's willing to be the childcare provider once your child is born...but that's where the line should be drawn.

    I guess you should be a little happy, at least your mother isn't begging you not to have children because she isn't 'old enough to be a grandmother.' --I have to deal with this constantly and it bugs the crap out of me (she is the same age right now that my grandma was when I was born.  Even if I get pregnant today, she'll be a year older by the time the baby is born).

    I think it's really great you can talk to your mom about these things, and that she is so supportive of you, but she needs to learn boundaries.  Good job setting them!

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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member

    crownedbee - With most mothers, you might be right in suggesting that I successfully set a boundary and even gained yardage. ?However, ?I can assure you that I gained no ground; that would require a Jersey barrier. ?

    If she weren't so amazing she might drive me crazy, but without my parents telling me that I can do this, I might not have the guts. ?There are a lot of internal barriers - guilt of raising a child without two parents and a father specifically, fear of so many things, sadness of not having a partner. ?As bratty as she sounds, she is fab.



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