Are you having mother/MIL stay with you after baby is born?

lhylcn · February 2009

Almost all of my friends have done this but similar to the post below, I feel like I will just want to be alone with the baby and DH. I guess it would be a huge help though, to have someone around to assist with changing, cooking, etc.

Anyone else doing this and how long are they staying? Are they physically staying with you in your house?

lovebook · February 2009

My mom's going to stay with us for the 1st couple of days ... I feel like I'm really going to need her to help with basic things like eating and giving advice about how to bathe the baby and helping out when I need a nap! I think I'll just feel better with her at our house, knowing she's there to help if need be. MIL lives less than a mile away so I expect to see her frequently at first, too.

oliviasprettymommy · February 2009

hell no. I see this as more of a hindrance than helping. Dh, Dd and i need time to bond with the baby, and having someone there invading my privacy even if it is mil/mom is very unappealing to me.

kmdixon · February 2009

My mom will be staying with us. My parents live 8 hours away, and I know that I am going to need help. Besides, I talk to my mom on the phone about 5 times a day...so she is going to spend as much of the summer with us as she can. And I wouldn't want it any other way. Not to mention that DH loves my mom, so he is thrilled too.

rbidi · February 2009

My mom lives ten minutes away and still works full time, so that isn't necessary. She'll probably be over everday after work to help out, clean, cook, like with our others. My MIL is not the domesticated type, so no.

dan&jon11/11/06 · February 2009

my mom is around the corner and she said if DH or I need help to give her a call and she will be right over.

inbetween · February 2009

My mom will temporarily be living with us for the next 6 months or so. While, I wouldn't have had her stay if it wasn't for our situation, I think it all depends on your relationship with your mother. As long as you know she is going to be helpful, and not trying to control everything, I say go for it!

kaylenpar1 · February 2009

My mom will be living just a few miles away- she offered to come stay but I want to be able to get in a normal routine as soon as possible, such as getting up like I would be going to work and cooking dinner. She'll be there to help as much as I want, but I'm going to have to get used to cooking and cleaning with a baby sooner or later- might as well start sooner.

Leadiabetic_R_Star7 · February 2009

My mom and dad will be with us for the first few days.... Not my MIL/FIL at all - I could not handel that and neither could MH.

Then after MH goes back to work my sister will be staying with us for about 5 days to help me out around the house and to watch the baby while I shower

mollymurphy · February 2009

Yes, but we're trying to time it so that she arrives at the end of DH's paternity leave...trying being the operative word: we'd love to be alone for at least a week after delivery. She'll stay 12 or 14 days and be staying the house w/us, but only because we're so far away from home...we couldn't justify the plane ticket (or the jet lag!) for her to stay a shorter amount of time. My mom's a big help, though, and doesn't need to be waited on hand and foot: she always pitches in and enjoys taking over the cooking while she's here anyway.

ETA: It's also sort of clear to us that my mom considers this part of her privilege as my mom...she's played 2nd fiddle to my SIL's mom w/the other grandkids: we can use her help after DH goes back to work and honestly, she's so excited about this baby that I couldn't deny her an invitation to be here and be the first to spend time w/him.?

mavilabride · February 2009

My mom will be staying for at least a month. Soooo glad we're having a summer baby

Sonya Flanagan · February 2009

My mom is coming to stay with us for about a week. She lives in Oregon and I get to see her once every 2 years.

misslady79 · February 2009

Neither will be staying with me. Both live in Texas(same neighborhood, literally around the corner from one another). But, my family is coming out here the first week of July for vacation time. It'll be almost 2 months after the baby is born.

mrsjazzsinger · February 2009

It will depend on when I have the baby (my sister graduates from college just after my due date in Seattle where my family is) but the plan is for my mom to come up around the time I give birth for a bit, but she'll be staying with her sister (my aunt) who lives about 5 minutes away. That way she can be there to help out, but won't actually be staying with us.

We are going to fly down to Seattle when she is 6-8 weeks to visit DH's side of the family and the rest of my family instead of having everyone come up here - we have a tiny condo and no room to host family, and we really want the first month or so to just bond as a family without the distraction of lots of family coming and going.

HDxNxJ · February 2009

We live with my parents still. We have a mother daughter set up, so Yes, my mom will be very involved with my recovery, but to be honest, I wouldn't want it any other way.

My mom and I are very close and I definatly appreciate all the help she is going to give us. Especially when I need a nap or a shower!!

staycee · February 2009

my mom said she would be willing if I want.

but she made it clear that she will only be there to help out with the cooking/cleaning etc... To ensure DH and I have time with our baby without having to worry about any of that.

Brittany Goldman · February 2009

We are having our baby at home and my mom is a midwife, so she will definitely be staying with us a little before and a little after. My mom lives 250 miles away, so that will really only be the consecutive time she gets to spend with us and the baby. Having had 5 kids herself, there is no one I would rather want to help me out, but I suppose it depends on your relationship with your mother. My MIL, on the other hand, live two miles down the street and has shown no interest in helping us out and has even said that she doesn't want to babysit. I would rather not have her hanging around anyway. I guess it takes all kinds.

ChelleM · February 2009

oliviasprettymommy:
hell no. I see this as more of a hindrance than helping. Dh, Dd and i need time to bond with the baby, and having someone there invading my privacy even if it is mil/mom is very unappealing to me.

Could not have said it better myself. Glad I'm not the only one!

blairsgirl · February 2009

No, we aren't. I would love my Mom to come and stay with me for a couple of weeks. I feel guilty asking her to take off of work but I know she would want to do it. Her Mom did it for her all three times. But the real reason is that I don't want my MIL staying with us. She is a wonderful lady with a very big heart, but can be overbearing. MH is worried that if my Mom came and stayed and we didn't ask his Mom to stay, that we would hurt feelings. So, we decided to hire a baby nurse to help us out.

JamieNIan · February 2009

My mom WANTS to take a weeks vaca and stay with us for the 1st week. Ummm, NO! We can go visit her, but having her 24/7 for a week will drive both me and DH batty,as would his mom. I can't take it when people stand overtop of me and give me "pointers" as to what to do. I took infant care, infant cpr/first aid and given my son a good 1st 10 years of his life, I think I can handle it.

emaria · February 2009

if we're still in our house then no (my parents live close by so they can visit and i really don't need to see dh's parents who live farther away lol). ?if we're in the process of moving we might i actually move in with my parents for a week or two until we move into our new home. ?fortunately dh and i are best friends with my parents so we're good with the arrangement and so are they. ?but things are up in the air currently!

sharrow · February 2009

I would love it if my Mom could be around after the baby is born!

She works full time and my father is extremely ill, so that may prevent her from coming, but she would be with me if she could.

I truly believe it "takes a village", and look forward to all the advice and wisdom she will be able to give. Of course she is going to drive me crazy (what Italian mother wouldn't?), but having someone around to help cook and care for the baby would be absolutely WONDERFUL!

PuppyMommy · February 2009

Nope. It'll just be my H, the baby and me.

LoveEeyore · February 2009

With DD I didn't and was glad. In fact DH took about 4 days off after we came home from the hospital and I couldn't wait for him to go back to work!!

With the twins, I imagine my mom will come out for a week or so after DH goes back to work. I am annoyed and would rather she didn't (she is very needy and physically unable to lift DD or carry the newborns) b/c I'll have 3 babies AND her to care for, but she is insisting.

water-fairy · February 2009

I will be "blessed" with both mom and MIL at the same time. Our families are in Europe and this will be the first grandchild on both parts and I know they will both want to be here as soon as the baby is born, which means them staying here for 3weeks to a month. What I will try to do is take the first couple of weeks for just the three of us and then have them all fly in. I know they will be a great help with cooking and cleaning but I also know they drive me crazy separately, can't immagine what the two of them could to my nerves when put together!!!

cmd78 · February 2009

The first week is going to be just DH, DS, & I, then when DH goes back to work my mom will come for a week and then my bff will come for almost a week. My mom's a teacher so she's got the summer off & she'll probably come down a few weekends and days here and there. She's so excited for her second grandchild.

Lynette21638 · February 2009

No way! DH has a week paternity leave, and then will probably take a weeks vaca after that. I want time for just us to bond as a family. Having MIL or Mom around will just stress us out more...they can stop over, and I would love to have them cook or bring dinner a couple nights, but no one will be staying here.

I would lose my mind.

kassann · February 2009

MY MIL will be here for about 3 weeks depending on how early she's here before the babe arrives. My mom lives about 100 yards from our house so she'll be here a ton too. I'm looking forward to the nap option having them here and not doing dishes or laundry!! We have the next 18 years alone with the kid I'm going to enjoy all the help I can get!

dmstar79 · February 2009

My mother lives 3 miles away from me so she won't be staying overnight. I would certainly welcome her help since this is my first child. I feel that I will need her advice more than having someone to assist with chores.

Pesky · February 2009

First time around, my mom was supposed to be here with my dad but my dad ended up in the hospital for an infection and so it was just DH, the baby and I. I wish I'd had a post-partum doula or something to help out because that first week was a real killer. This time, MIL will be here to help out. She will stay for at least 2 wks after the birth and then my mom is coming in for a week. It'll be easier because we have DD who will relish the attention.

RandZB · February 2009

My mom will be staying with us for however long I would like her to stay. She lives nearly three hours away, doesn't work outside the home and has the time to spare. My husband will be taking his paternity leave at the end of my maternity leave to give the baby a few extra weeks at home, so my mom would really just be a reliever for me during the day for the first two weeks or so. She pretty much does her own thing anyway, and I miss living in the same city as my parents so I will be glad to have her company.

somethingchangd · February 2009

Not me. I'd rather eat Taco Bell 3 meals a day and never shower again than have either of our mothers around to "help". My mom and I are really close, but we're strong, stubborn women and butt heads. MIL makes me so incredibly uncomfortable - no matter how much she tried to help it wouldn't be good.

It might not be easy but I'm confident that DH and I will figure it out.

Mamashev2b · February 2009

MY MIL said she was taking the whole month of August off. And I was very quick to let DH know that as much as I appreciate this, she will HAVE to stay at B and SIL's home, NOT OURS. This is a very intimate time that you will only share a few times (depending on how many children you plan on having) and I only want to share this with DH and daughter. Not that she can't visit, of course she can visit. Just not shack up at our place Wink

erino&chrish · February 2009

HELL NO to the MIL. But I do plan, depending on how I feel, to have my mother around. She is extremely helpful and I would rather her help me with the gross aftermath of the birth than have DH see it (that is, if I need help). She also BF and did Milk Bank so I think she'll be a big help with that.

Ricca'sBaby · February 2009

Absolutely not....I think it would drive me insane to have my MIL there. I love her, but I'd much rather have a close friend there. At this point, we're pretty sure that we're not having anyone stay with us...DH has 10 weeks paid leave, so he'll be there to help and if we feel like we need help with cooking and cleaning we'll call! I think having just the two of us will be better.

IU_baby · February 2009

Our parents both live within 45 minutes of us. They are welcome to come over, but I don't want either of them staying with us.

NinaGK · February 2009

My mom is. My parents live close by but my mom is still going to physically stay so that she can help in the middle of the night as well as during the day. Not sure how long she'll stay but probably til I feel comfortable without her.

MattysGirl81 · February 2009

My mom will be coming out shortly after the baby arrives and wants to stay about a week. She'll be staying in a hotel. Mainly she wants to help cooking, grocery shopping, watch the baby while I nap, etc. My mom and I get along great so I don't forsee any issues.

My MIL offered to LIVE with us for a month, she thought that sending a baby to daycare at 7 weeks was awful. I almost choked on my dinner when DH told me. There is NO WAY we would ever take her up on it. I'd rather take the time off unpaid. She drives us both crazy and we'd be miserable.

itsmyturn2 · February 2009

My MIL stayed with us for a few days after DS was born and it was a PITA. I wished she wasn't there. DS slept a lot and I just wanted some time to be alone. I didn't really need help taking care of him. I wanted someone to wash my floors and clean my bathroom and I felt weird asking her. My mom lives in town and stopping by in the afternoon would have been more than enough help.

With DC #2 no one is coming to stay with us for a while. I'm still trying to figure out if I will send DS to his grandparents or not.

rebus82 · February 2009

If my parents come into town for the birth (they live 8 hours away) then I'm sure they'll stay with us for a few days afterward. Or they may stay nearby and just come over during the day, I'm not sure.?

?

There is no way in hell I am going to let MIL in my house for at least a couple weeks after the birth. She can briefly visit in the hospital, but that is it. After SIL gave birth last month, MIL started acting like it was her kid. Telling SIL how to hold her, feed her, etc, despite the baby obviously not liking MIL's methods. MIL thinks it's really cute to hear the baby cry, to keep the baby awake, etc. I don't need that kind of "help."?

sharee · February 2009

my mom will be helping me out!!!

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