Don't read if you are going to judge

JenB225 · February 2009

Has anyone had thier big ultrasound and been dissapointed when you found out what the sex was? We had ours today and I was so dissapointed I cried. I feel like crap that I feel this way but I can't help it. It really is a crappy feeling but it is honestly the way I feel. Has anyone else struggled with this? How do I get over it?

brittneycc1982 · February 2009

DH cried. He REALLY wanted a boy. But we got over and thought how awesome it would be for DD to have a little sister.

So what are you having?!

knelli · February 2009

you suck it up and be happy that you have a healthy baby.

I know you said not to judge, but sometimes you don't get the answers you want.

sxu0007 · February 2009

When I had my daughter I wanted her to be a boy so bad. I was devastated at first. But, you will get over it. I promise. My friend Gena wanted a boy so bad too but she had a girl and I told her the same thing. Now, neither one of us would trade our little girls for anything. I am so glad I got a girl now instead of a boy. I want a girl this time, but will be fine either way. You will feel better soon. Especially when you start buying stuff and get to see that little face!

NewLerma · February 2009

I think more women feel this way than will admit. As for how to get over it, you just will, I mean there is nothing you can do to change it right?

You will feel guilty for being disappointed for a bit, but eventually you'll realize that you're happy and you will be fine.

Mrs.Foreste · February 2009

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

The New Mrs. · February 2009

A friend of mine did the same thing - she wanted a girl and found out she was going to have a boy. She was pretty much pissed for the next 2 months. She wasn't happy and super b*tchy. That said, her son is now 11 months and she constantly says how she wouldn't change it for the world. He's the light of her life and she said she wants another boy next time cuz he's so great. So don't loose hope if you feel crappy and upset now. When you see your little one, it'll be love at first sight and you'll never look back!

marieski · February 2009

I wouldn't be too hard on yourself! Your going to love your baby no matter what! When you are hoping for one gender over the other you can't help but feel a little disappointed. Once you get used to the idea you will feel much better about it.

I am worried I'll feel the same way at mine in a few weeks. My DH has his heart set on having a little boy first. I'll be happy with either but I am hoping for a boy for him. He has waited a LONG time for this, and I want to be able to give him a little boy!

So what are you having?

GL!

Marie

ashleyvc1 · February 2009

Yup both times I really wanted a boy. It doesn't mean I will love either DD less, we just don't have many boys in my family (only 1) and I really wanted another one.

That being said, I am also very excited that they are girls, kwim? Like I had a 3rd choice. lol

Give it some time and I promise you won't remember wanting the opposite of what you got!

~Soleil~ · February 2009

No. We both thought it was a boy.

Bernadette5 · February 2009

I won't lie, in the beginning I was hoping for a boy and then my Dr. sauid she thought it was a girl at 16.5 weeks. At the 20 week the tech said the same thing but wasn't 100% sure. So I kinda started looking at girls stuff online and just telling myself it was a girl. Now that it is confirmed I couldn't be happier. Don't worry, once the baby is born you are going to love it more than anything and it won't matter any more.

Mrs.Kent · February 2009

I can understand to an extent. I was truly hoping for a girl this time around and I was lucky enough to be blessed with one. While I would have been a little let down if it was a boy, I don't think I would have been even close to tears. Do you plan on having any more babies? Maybe you'll get what you want next time. Try going shopping and see if all the cute baby clothes cheer you up! Just don't look at the clothes of the opposite gender

jenniferb96 · February 2009

I think it is normal for some woman to feel like that!!! You will get over it though and you will start to feel really excited!!!

jenerally · February 2009

It's normal and OK to be disappointed in learning the sex of your baby, especially if it is your last baby. It's even OK to cry. You are mourning the loss of a dream -- the fantasy you had of how your family would have looked.

In a week or two you'll start to feel better and by the end you'll be excited to meet your LO. And after s/he is born, you'll wonder why you were so upset in the first place.

AndiG · February 2009

I always thought #2 was going to be a girl and it is (and I'm excited), but I did feel a little sad once it was confirmed. I think its just that I've had so much fun with DS and really liked the idea of him having a brother so close in age. I'm also not a "girly girl" and honestly having a daughter scares the crap out of me!! I'm sure it will great though! I'm sure you will get over any disappointment as you go forward with the preg. and get used to the idea of having the opposite of what you expected.

MeghanF13 · February 2009

That's exactly why we chose not to find out. Once the baby is born I will be emotional and won't have an opportunity to be disappointed - all I will care about is whether or not it is healthy. DH & I honestly don't have a preference one way or the other.

You will get over it - just focus on the miracle of life growing inside....and you can always try again for the other sex (unless you're planning to stop after this one?)....

kmv6107 · February 2009

Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

staycee · February 2009

how do you get over it? You step back and realize how blessed and lucky you are to be pregnant at all. So many women aren't as lucky as you and would kill to be in your shoes just once.

Nicole Williams · February 2009

I really don't understand how that can make you so upset that you cry. ?Like others said, you should really just be thankful and happy that you are going to have a healthy baby. ?I find out in 2 days and I'm just hoping that when they tell me what it is that everything looks normal and that nothing is wrong.

JenniferMae · February 2009

A friend of mine really wanted a girl but found out she was having a boy...she "hated" the rest of her pregnancy. Then she got pregnant again and wanted a girl but is having another boy. I think it is sad to let that ruin your pregnancy and the true miracle of it.

With that being said, I can understand if you are slightly disappointed but I will be happy with either.

HDxNxJ · February 2009

I think most people who feel this way don't admit it, but going into pregnancy there's always going to be the thought of the "ideal" way you wish to start/continue you family.

I knew someone who was dissapointed when they found out they were having another girl, only because she didnt want to have a 4th child and she already had 2 girls.

I think once the baby is here, you will change your feelings. It's ok to be dissapointed.

zoieglow · February 2009

No, we're not finding out but the last thing I will be feeling when we know is disappointment - I really couldn't care less if it was a boy or girl. I'm not judging you, I just don't feel the same. I hope you feel better about it soon.

nolebride · February 2009

I think it's normal. Don't beat yourself up and don't let other people judge your true feelings. It's not like you said you would place the baby for adoption!

Neither of us stated a preference before the big U/S but I am such a girly girl that I think I wanted a girl deep down. We're having a boy and I'm super excited but I still get sad when I see cute little dresses and other girly things. We want at least 2 kids so hopefully next one will be a girl. If not we are seriously considering adopting a little girl.

C.Mo · February 2009

kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

She didn't say anything douche-worthy. It's the internet, people are going to have opposing opinions.

tyarbrough · February 2009

Thankfully, no... but if we had been told we were having a boy, I would have felt the same way. I just knew it was a girl and had built up the idea so much in my head (even bought girl clothes). I know if they had said it was a boy it would have been such a blow to me. I understand how you feel, and I know you'll get over it when you have a precious little one (no matter what the sex), but for now you're just dissappointed! I'm sorry!

RichInLove · February 2009

Your feelings are your feelings and you are entitled to them.They're real and you're being honest.

Some people are pissed at you for feeling that, but their feelings are valid too.

I think that when the dust settles, you'll get over it.

lennonlover · February 2009

I agree. I am actually a bit scared of the u/s because they might find something wrong. I will be so thrilled with a boy or girl, and I can't wait to find out.

JenniferMae · February 2009

C.Mo:
kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

She didn't say anything douche-worthy. It's the internet, people are going to have opposing opinions.

Agreed. Not a douche comment at all!

Mrs.Foreste · February 2009

kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

Wow... miss douchey made me LOL. I guess it is pretty douch of me for thinking it's selfish to care more about the sex of the baby than to be thrilled it's a healthy baby even though it's not the sex I hoped for.

DSteed-to-be · February 2009

It is normal to grieve the loss of what you had hopes for. My DH and I are both hoping for a girl (we find out next Monday), but at the same time, we have great dreams if it is a boy too (like how protective he might be over his little sister if we have a girl next time, etc) and will just try for a girl the next time. That's all you can do besides being grateful that it is healthy and start preparing yourself to be the best mom to that baby (whatever sex it is) from that moment on.

lovelyophelia · February 2009

I don't know the sex yet, but DH and I hope for one of each. So really it doesn't matter.

I look at this way. I have a friend who can never have children. I'm grateful I can. You may be upset at first, but you'll come to terms with it.

Mike&Care · February 2009

I think this is normal if you already have one or more children. I honestly cant understand someone being upset when it is their 1st child.

Anyway, I was convinced that this was a boy. We opened the card on xmas that said girl and I'll admit, my reaction was not as elated as it would have been if it had said "its a boy". Both DH and I sat there and were like "ok, now we have to stop thinking of this as a boy and be excited for this little girl". I can honestly say that I "got over it" in a day or two. It really was just getting used to it. Now I would be so sad if they told me it was a boy. I already have everything picked out and planned for my little girl. I can only picture her as a girl and I think I'd feel like my little girl died if they suddenly told me she was a HE. Trust me, this is normal and not a big deal. Just suck it up and start looking at some baby stuff.

What's the sex anyway?

JenB225 · February 2009

Thank you sooo much to those of you who have positive comments for me. I really appreciate it. I know that I will love this baby just as much as I love my son, but the initial shock and dissapointment has been hard. I also think it is true that a lot more people have these feelings than are willing to admit it and I appreciate those of you who have opened up to help me out! Thank you!

C.Mo · February 2009

Mrs.Foreste:
kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

Wow... miss douchey made me LOL. I guess it is pretty douch of me for thinking it's selfish to care more about the sex of the baby than to be thrilled it's a healthy baby even though it's not the sex I hoped for.

Miss Douchey made me LOL as well....I guess we found you a new name Mrs. Foreste!

mollymurphy · February 2009

I was terrified that I would be upset...luckily, any preference that I had vanished the second I found out that we were actually, really pregnant.?

I hope that you'll keep an open mind and that your disappointment will lessen. I have both nieces and nephews and I love each of them dearly: the fact that some are boys and some are girls is just who they are...it doesn't make a difference in how much we love them or how great/funny/silly they are as kids.?

Nicole Williams · February 2009

Mrs.Foreste:
kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.
And the answer to your question... no.? I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is!? All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl.? It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"
WOW aren't you a douche!!?
?to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl.? I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying.? Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!
Wow... miss douchey made me LOL.? I guess it is pretty douch of me for thinking it's selfish to care more about the sex of the baby than to be?thrilled it's a healthy baby even though it's not the sex I hoped for.

?

Yes! ?Thank you.?

niracess27 · February 2009

kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

Hahaha OMG drama... but yeah, I agree, I really doubt that once baby comes you will have any of those feelings. You have your own reasons for maybe prefering one sex over the other as I am sure about 80% of the girls on here would like a girl vs. a boy or vise versa. So don't listen to girls with negative coments. In time you will come around to the idea and LOVE IT!

txbabs111 · February 2009

kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

You seem to be the only person in this post calling other people names. It's ok to have a different opinion than someone else on the internet.

kmv6107 · February 2009

C.Mo:
kmv6107:
Mrs.Foreste:

First of all if you name your post "Don't read if you are going to judge"... most people are probably going to not only read it, but will also judge you.

And the answer to your question... no. I don't find out the sex for another 2 weeks, but I am going to just be thrilled knowing what it is! All I'm hoping for is a healthy baby... boy or girl. It makes me sad that you will give birth & look at your baby & think "I really wish this had been a boy/girl"

WOW aren't you a douche!!

to the OP we were a lil disappointed when we found out we were having a boy but now, 4 weeks later I couldn't be happier, as a matter of fact I have my 20 week coming up and am terrified they will tell me it really is a girl. I know how you feel, you will not only get over it but you will be ecstatic with whichever it is your carrying. Noway will something like what miss douchey suggested happen when you give birth so don't sweat it or her for that matter!

She didn't say anything douche-worthy. It's the internet, people are going to have opposing opinions.

Not sure what your definition of a douche is but in my world suggesting that a mother would actually look down at her new born child and think to herself "I really wish you would have been a boy/girl" screams HELLO I'M A DOUCHE!!!

NewlywedNVA · February 2009

jenerally:
It's normal and OK to be disappointed in learning the sex of your baby, especially if it is your last baby. It's even OK to cry. You are mourning the loss of a dream -- the fantasy you had of how your family would have looked.

In a week or two you'll start to feel better and by the end you'll be excited to meet your LO. And after s/he is born, you'll wonder why you were so upset in the first place.

It may be slightly off topic, but I LOVE the Brit pic in your siggy! Too funny

sherron83 · February 2009

NewLerma:

I think more women feel this way than will admit. As for how to get over it, you just will, I mean there is nothing you can do to change it right?

You will feel guilty for being disappointed for a bit, but eventually you'll realize that you're happy and you will be fine.

Exactly!! I was hoping for a boy for DH... But we are extremely excited about our girl.
Its a baby and every baby is a blessing...
GL

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