How do you deal with someone picking on your child?

Re: How do you deal with someone picking on your child?

• gisellems

  January 2009

  talk to the parents or teachers, but i'm that kinda a mom, or have my dc tell the teacher when the other kids are calling her names, i think i would make the point to the teacher that  it might be a good idea to explain to the kids why you shouldnt call people names, and make it something fun and educational because this is where it all starts in my opinion, this is where kids should be corrected so they dont become worse with age...
  

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• momofolivia

  January 2009

  is this in a classroom setting and you are the teacher? Why are they picking on her? 

   

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• Freddie'sMommy

  January 2009

  IF they did it in front of me I would say to the kids now that is not polite.  And then go right to the parents and let them know how their kids are acting along with the teacher.  It is surprising 4 yr olds know that behavior they must have learned from home.
  

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• mrshutch

  January 2009

  I've taught K-7th grade, so  here are my general strategies:
  

  If I'm the teacher, I would have a group meeting away from the class to talk to the girls first, and ask why they're saying mean things, etc. I would then bring in the girl who's being picked on and ask her to tell the girls how this is making her feel. If this is something that's happened more than once, I would speak with the parents of each girl and give them a heads-up that this is happening and see if they offer any insight. After that I'd keep an eye on them all. I wouldn't totally separate them, but try to find activities, games that they can all do together with other kids who aren't involved in the situation. If it's really severe then I would help the girl who's being picked on play with other friends and avoid the girls who are being mean (and continue to keep the parents updated and impose disciplinary action if necessary).

  If I'm the parent, I would be notifying the teacher and discussing options. If it continued, I would speak with the teacher again, and perhaps the teacher's supervisor to ensure something's being done.
   

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• Emmasmom30

  January 2009

  I would speak to the parents first and then speak to the teacher.

   
  

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• Phillywife

  January 2009

  I would go to the teacher. It is taking place in the teachers classroom and she/he should be stopping bullying. If that doesn't work go to the parent.

   

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• Pesky member

  January 2009

  First, I'd talk with my 4YO.  How does she feel about it, how, yes, that's not nice behavior, how is she dealing with it so far and brainstorm suggestions of how to deal with it, including role playing.  If it seems persistent and my DD was upset enough (if it's rolling off her back, the kids don't seem physically threatening in their taunting and she doesn't care, no need to take action), I might ask what she thinks about me going to talk with the teacher.  Then I likely would talk with the teacher.

  
  
  DD -- 5YO
  DS -- 3YO
  

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• MamaNikki

  January 2009

  Pesky:

  First, I'd talk with my 4YO.  How does she feel about it, how, yes, that's not nice behavior, how is she dealing with it so far and brainstorm suggestions of how to deal with it, including role playing.  If it seems persistent and my DD was upset enough (if it's rolling off her back, the kids don't seem physically threatening in their taunting and she doesn't care, no need to take action), I might ask what she thinks about me going to talk with the teacher.  Then I likely would talk with the teacher.

  This pretty much sums up what I was going to say too!  I know that I have no control over other parents or their kids or how they parent.  I only have control (sometimes, lol) over mine, and giving them the self-esteem they need to manage it and guidance on right/wrong behavior.

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