traditions

Honeydew1894

I was just wondering...for those of you who have done IA or are thinking about it...do/would you celebrate traditions from your child's background? For example, Chinese New Year?  I think it would be nice to do, but DH thinks it might confuse the child. Thoughts?

Temp206787500007404

We're not doing IA, but I just wanted to say we have a friend who's wife is Chinese and they invite us to their NY celebration each year and it is a BLAST.  The food is the equivalent of our Thanksgiving -- I have never been so full. 

I don't think it would be confusing to the child -- we intend to teach our children about as many holidays as we can, whether we celebrate them or not.  There isn't anything wrong with having a broad world view and a sense of what other people celebrate. 

Art Teacher

I think it's extremely important to teach your child about his/her heritage and the heritage of others.  I do this all the time as a teacher.  My students learn about different cultures, traditions, and holidays throughout the year.  That's what helps them to get a better worldview and helps them learn more about their own background.   Your child needs to know about where he/she came from, as well as your and your husband's background.

There are really great books out there related to customs, holidays, and culture.  I use a company called Crizmac.com all the time -- they have great videos, books, etc.  You might want to check them out.  I'm sure your agency could give you suggestions, too.

 Good luck!

Ranita

I know that family is more than biology and that our children will be our children regardless of where they were born.  Having said that, culture is of vital importance to a person's own sense of self identity.  My DH is from South America and for his first years here before we met and married, he had no one to celebrate the traditions of his culture with and he went through some really sad times as a result.  Now we incorporate both of our cultural traditions in our own home and it is one of the greatest gifts I can give him to support where he came from.  This is different of course, as an infant wouldn't be 'missing home' like my DH was, but still, he or she will grow to know that they were born somewhere else and having a knowledge of language, or history, or music, food, celebrations, etc, will greatly enrich who they are.  I don't think it will confuse the child if you celebrate those things as a family and invite friends etc so that it just becomes part of how your family does life.  As a young child they won't know the difference and if they do come to a point in life where they want to explore their heritage, you will have laid the supportive groundwork that they need.
That's my 2 cents, sorry it got long...haha

CaptainSerious

I have every intention of teaching my child(ren) all about their home country and its traditions and cultures.  I will also teach my child(ren) all the history, traditions, and cultures of my and my husband's backgrounds.

This will certainly keep us busy, as my mother is from Germany, my father is from Egypt, my husband's father is from Germany and lived in France, and my husband's mother is "Southern."  Just as i was exposed to all these backgrounds as a child, and I grew to cherish family traditions, so I hope to raise my child.

That being said, I think there are differences between teaching a child different traditions and cultures, and mingling religions.  All members of our family are all Christian, and although we have learned about and respect other religions, we do not practice them.  So, while I will teach my child about what the Incans, Quechua, and Aymara and other Peruvian tribes believe(d), we will only celebrate secular or Christian holidays in our home.  For example, we may celebrate Peruvian Independence Day or Puno Week, but we will not partake in any rituals to the Incans gods (such as making offerings for a good harvest/prosperous year).

Honeydew1894

Good idea with the religious holidays. I definitely agree with you there! Thanks to all who replied!

BB&J

Hi there. Yes, we absolutely celebrate our daughter's traditions (adopted from China in 2003). Chinese New Year, the Autumn Moon Festival, our Gotcha Day, etc. We plan on returnting to China to visit next summer and am glad she'll have some "experience" with the culture and traditions.

During our adoption process, we attended seminars where each time it was reinforced that the more we kept our daughter's Chinese culture a part of all of our lives, the more she would have to draw on when puberty hits and she begins to question things a little differently.

What our daugher has been able to understand about her background changes as she gets older. She can't quite separate going to a Chinese New Year celebration from us actually going to China next summer, but I hope to give China a "face" for her.

BB&J