Does anyone think this is weird

lissjao

I plan on nursing, which is no big deal; right? My MIL asked me not to long ago "you are going to pump right; becuase we want to feed the baby too you know" I nursed my first son (met my husband when he was 2) till he was a year and really never thought anything about it, my mom never really said anything like that and he wouldn't really take a bottle so we just did a tippy cup pretty early on. I really didn't know how to respond.  She didn't nurse and I dont think she thinks to highly about it, but why would you say that? She got really upset that we werent going to be able to go to their cousins wedding 14 hrs away b/c Dh who is a fireman had to work the day of the wedding. The wedding is Dec 20th, nice timming huh, anyways he finally got someone to trade with him but i feel really nervous about driving 14 hours being almost 7mth, and spending the $500 on the trip, then she wants to come home and have "family Christmas"...we havent bought the crib yet, were still trying to figure how to do our own christmas and pay for the trip. I hate to tell her the world does not revolve around her, just really frustrating   

smismar

Yes, that is very weird.  She seems very selfish.  As far as the feeding, I'd tell her about the medical evidence in favor of nursing and explain that there are plenty of other things she can do to help you with the baby that don't involve feeding.

As far as Christmas, I feel your pain.  I was proud of myself a few weeks ago after I put my foot down and told my mother that NO we were not flying out to AZ to visit them this year.  It was very liberating.  (We'll see how it goes over this weekend when we tell the IL's we're staying home instead of driving up again to see them.) 

Mistyl

She seems to be a bit controlling. I do find her behavior strange. Especially the whole breast feeding comment. She needs to not make ignorant comments like that. It's your choice!

lissjao

It really kinda makes me mad that they are expecting us to go there spend all the money at christmas, come home do christmas when we still have alot of things we need to buy and it not being 300 in gas. We havent even taken a honey moon (I know sad.)I really want to put my foot down but we see them Alot, too much! DH has tried to talk to them but they refuse to even try to understand were we are coming from. I need to put my foot down on alot of things but MIL holds grudges and I dont want to deal with that. I really love his family but they act like they are the only family we have.   

Mitzie

yeah... that's weird.

I found the best way to deal with this crap is to give answers as if she is from another planet and then change the subject.

example:

MIL: On my home planet we mispronounce basic english words and I am queen of the umquats.

Me: Oh, hmmm.     Look! Valerie Bertinelli is on TV!

lpoi

Maybe if she's so insistent on you attending the wedding, you could tell her that you will go if she buys a crib since you don't have the money to do both! Don't alter your plans or your money situation to please her...she sounds like the type of person that is never pleased with anything anyway! 

hula_lula

There was only 1 time that I ever pumped so that someone else could feed the baby, and it was my DH! Other than that I pumped out of necessity so I don't think it's weird that you don't want to pump just so MIL can feed the baby when ever she pleases.

As for the wedding, I wouldn't be going either. That's a LONG trip at 7m PG. Just tell her that. You're not comfortable making that long of a trip while that PG, plus you need to save money so that, oh, your kid can eat and stuff

She sounds like a peach

lailak42

My MIL was weirded out by me nursing, too.  She was very jealous and upset that she wasn't able to bottle feed DS.  She didn't nurse her kids, so she always acted extremely awkward when I fed him (I was literally banished to a back room at her house).  She talked a good line about how it's best for the baby, but I could tell she didn't really believe it and would rather I bottle feed.  Ugh.

keishafisher

Fortunately for me, my MIL is very passive and my hubby always remembers who he has to crawl into bed with, so we don't have such problems. But in your case, I would suggesst that you just tell her that the baby can not have a bottle and breast feed in the begginning anyway (nipple confusion) and that your milk is the best source of nourishment for your baby.  OR you could be a true Queen Bee like my sister and say 'Look, you weren't there when we made her and you won't be there at 2 AM trying to feed her, if you want to participate be happy w/ changing diapers!'  Oh, I'm so proud of you baby sis!

amme

Mother in law issues suck, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that passive aggression. There are a few family members that have issues with nursing, too. Different generation I suppose. You're doing the right thing not giving in, but I understand how frustrating it is.