Does anyone actually like being a SAHM?

AlisaS

OK, I am kidding but seriously - why is it that women with careers and children are questioned like this?

As if the only reason a woman with kids would work is because they had to for the $$$. PSA: some women work because they enjoy it - with or without kids.

mrshutch

It's funny- I just realized none of my SAHM friends have ever asked this (or strangers for that matter). Hopefully that means they can tell I actually enjoy my job? I do appreciate that my SAHM friends are supportive of my choices, and vice versa. But I do agree that this seems to be a bigger societal thing- that assumption that many women just need the money. DH is sweet and when I seem a little down about my girlfriends all getting to see each other during the day, reminds me that he'd support my decision if I wanted to stay home. I say thanks, but no thanks

RubyRed7

I think being a mom is challenging whether or not you go back to work! The challenges are just different, and either way it should be rewarding.

Maybride2

I hear you...........the question in borderline offensive.

Like, the only reason women work is to bide their time until they reproduce.  That's our sole purpose in life, don'cha know.

AlisaS

Yes - I guess borderline offensive is right. Poor unhappy working moms - life must suck for us all.

tosababy

AlisaS:

Yes - I guess borderline offensive is right. Poor unhappy working moms - life must suck for us all.

I'm not even sure it's borderline.  It is offensive.

I was told at a party recently that it must be so hard for me to leave my baby every day.  Then the same person told me how his wife had a hard time adjusting to being a working mom (35 years ago) because the baby bonded with the babysitter more than her ... ugh!

I try to let people's comments roll off my back, but it's hard.  I really enjoy my job.  Being a working parent isn't easy (and it might be nice to have 1 day off a week), but it's so much better for our family.  I admit it, though, sometimes I get caught up in the guilt and pressure (as though I'm supposed to feel guilty for enjoying work while dads don't get the same pressures).
 

mrsmikey

I do work because I have to for the money.  But, I don't think I'd like being a full time SAHM either.  If I could afford to stay at home, I would still work part time or something.  Regardless, the comments are offensive, because they're judgemental.

And I'm willing to bet there are alot of SAHMs out there who would love to be able to go back to work, but can't because of the price of daycare or some other reason.  But I'm also willing to bet that most of them wouldn't admit it.

Who decided that being a SAHM was best?

AlisaS

tosababy:

AlisaS:

Yes - I guess borderline offensive is right. Poor unhappy working moms - life must suck for us all.

I'm not even sure it's borderline.  It is offensive.

I was told at a party recently that it must be so hard for me to leave my baby every day.  Then the same person told me how his wife had a hard time adjusting to being a working mom (35 years ago) because the baby bonded with the babysitter more than her ... ugh!

I try to let people's comments roll off my back, but it's hard.  I really enjoy my job.  Being a working parent isn't easy (and it might be nice to have 1 day off a week), but it's so much better for our family.  I admit it, though, sometimes I get caught up in the guilt and pressure (as though I'm supposed to feel guilty for enjoying work while dads don't get the same pressures).
 

 

Exactly- no one says to a man -

"Are you totally unhappy and unfullfilled working outside the home after you have kids?????????"

Maybride2

And no one would dare accuse a man of not raising his own kids since he's working.  That's the one that galls me the most. 

Craylo

mrsmikey:

Who decided that being a SAHM was best?

?

How about the kids who need their mom? Something that no one has mentioned here is what the kids need. Its all about what the moms want.?

I think its too easy to shlep our kids out to other people without a second thought. They should come first, over our needs as individuals.

??

flyer23

Craylo:

mrsmikey:

Who decided that being a SAHM was best?

How about the kids who need their mom? Something that no one has mentioned here is what the kids need. Its all about what the moms want. 

I think its too easy to shlep our kids out to other people without a second thought. They should come first, over our needs as individuals.

Wow. Where to start with this?

1. I guess you and your husband both stay home, then? Or are you saying that your kids need their mom, but not their dad? How does that work, exactly?

2. I firmly believe that kids do fine in any quality child care situation, be it at home with mom or dad or other family members or "other people," as you put it. So yes, it is about what the moms want -- because the kids do fine regardless. My daughter gets tons of love and attention from her sitter during the day, and tons of love and attention from DH and me at night. That is what she needs.

3. Sometimes, considering your needs as an individual is putting your kids first. Short-term, I know I need a little time away from DD in order to be the best mom I can be while I'm with her. Long-term, the retirement saving I'm doing right now (thanks to working) means that I won't be a burden on her when I get older.

4. I don't think any working mom "shelps their kids out to other people without a second thought." Most of us agonize over child care arrangements, because we realize how important it is to find quality child care. (See point #2.)

momofolivia

i really dont get comments anymore (i think i have gotten 2 total), but i can't imagine anyone making those comments in today's economy when every paycheck is a blessing.