Trying not to worry is a lot easier said than done!

persala

My hubbie and I tried for almost 5 years and went through fertility treatments before getting pregnant.  So far every appointment I've had has gone very well and the baby is developing normally, but I still can't keep myself from worrying about the baby all the time.  I was even worse during my first tri, but then I read that chances of m/c goes down to less than 5% after the first tri so I really tried hard to stop worrying.  I hate having to go 4 weeks between each appointment!  I wish I could check on the baby every week or so.  I think I just felt so "doomed" for so long with the infertility that now I feel like this is too good to be true and happening to me.  I know the stress and worry is not good for the baby, but I can't control it no matter how hard I try.  Anyone else out there going through this too, or am I just a paranoid freak??

Instead of counting down the days until the holiday, I'm counting down the days until 12/1 my next Dr. appointment. I'm even considering asking my Dr. if I should go on some type of anxiety medicine. I've never taken anything like that before and I'm sure it's not good to take when you're prego.

 

phishphood

I always get really paranoid about halfway in between each appointment.  Even now, when I can feel her moving around.

jeng329

First of all, congratulations! ?

I think everyone feels the same way but with your years of disappointments, I am sure it is worse for you.

Soon you will start feeling your little one move and that will be reassuring. ?

What about renting a doppler. ?Then you could hear the hb at home?? ??

britti<3

get a doppler so you can hear the heartbeat at home. that should calm you some.

Mandy Ellsworth

JenG329:

What about renting a doppler.  Then you could hear the hb at home??   

This is what I'd suggest if you are driving yourself crazy, but know that many women who are further along sometimes have trouble locating the heartbeat with the doppler.

shertom

I'm in a similar situation ... we tried for about 2 years, failed fertility treatments, the insurance company turned us down for certain treatments because they didn't think it was the right thing for us! even though the dr. did.  I am a worrier too, and have been crazy w/ worry from time to time since I found out I was pregnant, because it seemed too good to be true, although I always had hope.   I have been trying, although not always successful, in just realizing that this is really out of my hands and worrying will not do a thing for me.  Again it's not easy but I'm trying.    So you are not alone - I'm sure there are many who have been through similar feelings.

persala

britti<3:

get a doppler so you can hear the heartbeat at home. that should calm you some.

 

I bought one at BabiesRUs, but it's cheap and I haven't had any luck with it so far, it did say on the box that it's best used during third tri, maybe I'll try to find a better one, thanks for the advice!

bethCT

I think it is perfectly normal.  After 3 m/c I still cannot beleive I am actually pregnant and really won't completely realax until I hold her in my arms.  The thing my DH kept saying is that if I never relax, I won't ever be able to enjoy this pregnancy and I want to enjoy it so badly, in case it is my only one!  That did help me a lot.
Good luck!
Hugs,
Beth

alli&pat

i'm kinda jumping boards right now but i just wanted you to know you are not alone...i feel the same way.  i had 2 losses, one of them being later in the 1st tri and i'm really convinced that i will lose this baby too.  its just too good to be true and i don't ever assume that a pregnancy will actually result in a baby.  each time i go to the doc, i assume they will tell me that the baby died.  but so far so good...we've seen the baby 3 times plus heard on the doppler.  i'm hoping i can shake this anxiety soon so that i have time to appreciate being pg!!

buckeyethor

i agree with you so much though i did not have any troubles getting pregnant. i have high risk bc of blood pressure. i have had anxiety problems long before getting pregnant. worrying is one of the worst things for you and the baby. i know its hard but just remember to relax and remember to breathe. its a lot easier said than done.

davis0905

I'm a worrier too.  I haven't had fertilty probs either, but like pp, I have high blood pressure so that puts me and baby at some risk. 

Have you thought about seeking counseling?  I think that it can actually do more good long-term than any anti-anxiety medication.  I speak from experience.  Anti-anxiety meds can tend to worsen the problem and you can become dependent on them.  Antidepressants are a little safer and can also help with anxiety...but I probably wouldn't suggest taking any of them while pregnant.  Talking with a counselor is a better solution--you can learn coping skills and practice relaxation techniques.  And you'll have someone who listens and is very accepting. 

buckeyethor

anti anxiety medications DO NOT WORSEN the problem. i speak from experience. they can lessen the speed your nervous system thus slowing some panic attacks.

Also, people with actual anxiety problems are the least likely group of ppl to ever become addicted to any medication. they will take them perfectly as directed for fear of becoming addicted.

There are numerous safe medications that are SSRIs, SNRIs, benzos, etc that doctors will recommend taking during pregnancy and are completely safe.

A+ effort on trying to sound smart about the topic though.

ifoundhim

A couple of things... first, I totally understand!  We only tried for 17 months. But I can empathize with feeling like these babies are just so precious, I can't stand the thought of losing them.  In between appointments, I felt so worried.  But my second point is that soon, you'll probably start feeling them move.  And then some of the daily worries diminish because you know they're OK when they kick you

 Definitely talk to your doctor about how you feel... just try to remember you're probably pretty normal, OK?

HotDish!

I felt the same way through my whole 1st pregnancy. The bad news is, once the baby is born there's lots more to worry about.

KatGapp

First Congratulations!!  I agree with pp's that you should get something to hear the heart beat.  I think that will help put you at ease a bit, plus it will be a great way for DH to hear what's going on.  Not sure what other advice I can give.  Just hang in there....your baby will be here soon!!   I will send lots of good vibes your way 

persala

Thank you everyone for the advice!  It feels good to know others can relate, I'm going to try hard to just say my prayers, let go and let God take control, I have to remind myself that he blessed us with this baby and it's in his hands!

Waterthrush

I think it's understandable. You've been through a lot to get to this point. I am a worrier and I personally believe that if you're going to worry anyway than you should make it okay for you to worry. Afterall, you're worrying about the baby, why add the worry of not being able to stop worrying on top of that? That said, I'm not saying to give yourself free reign to worry nonstop without any break. I'm just saying to give yourself a break. That personally has helped me a lot.

davis0905

Buckeye--

just my opinion and you have a right to your opinion.  I do speak from my own personal experience as someone who has suffered with anxiety and also as a mental health professional.  I am a therapist so I know this topic very well, thank you very much!!!   

I've tried many benzos and they have always made my problem worse--the withdrawal is awful and yes, many of them do create dependency, even among the most conscientious of invididuals. 

Mindfulness meditation has proven to be much more effective.  Changing my attitude about life has been key to my success. 

Just my "educated" opinion.