Daycare - WWYD?

JJesch

I'm sorry this is so dang long.  

My DD is 7 mos old. At 8 weeks we started her in a daycare center and liked it a lot. At the time my husband was a student (not making much $)and in September they raised their rates $10/week. The in-home daycare my boss takes her kids to had an opening and was $30 less a week. We interviewed her and liked her so we switched.

Lately there has been some things that we are not happy about. DD has had 2 stints of bright red diaper rash on her vagina since the new daycare. She had one when we went to a checkup and the doctor recommended changing her more often. Which we already did often. Yesterday I get DD home and she had soaked out of her diaper, through her onsie and pants. So that made us mad because we wondered when she got changed last. Also, when we get there to pick her up shortly after 5:00 she is already snapped into her carseat. Yesterday I put her in her full body coat and when I went to get her she was in the coat in the carseat in the house where it was warm.

Today at a quarter to 5:00 the daycare provider called me at work. She said that DH had just picked up DD. She wanted to tell me that the reason DD was in a different outfit was because when DCP was in the bathroom DD got into the dog's water dish, not because she peed out her diaper again. She then said that she is scared that we aren't happy and she loves DD. When I got home DH was really mad because when he got there at 4:40 DD was in her coat in the carseat already (I have not discussed that we don't like this with DCP yet though and he didn't say anything either). Also, she came home with a pacifier that is not hers.

 So now DH wants to go back to the daycare center she first went to. I'm not ready to jump ship yet. DCP wants open communication but is very sensitive also. I guess I'm just wondering what you would do or what suggestions you have.

mrshutch

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt but I'm concerned about DCP putting DD in her coat and car seat before it's time to go b/c babies can overheat and be uncomfortable. I'm more concerned that she's calling w/ excuses, and it's odd that she said she's scared that you don't like her. I would strongly recommend that you lay your concerns out to her- who cares if she's sensitive, this is her business and it's your DD's welfare. Is she licensed? I would make sure she's following the proper protocol. We used an in-home daycare and there was an infant sheet outlining how many times DD had been changed and what she ate. After 12 mos there was just a general report about the day's activities. I don't want to sound negative, but I also think you need to look out for yourself. You sound like a reasonable person so I'm sure you're not being too hard on the DCP.

14years

Honestly, it sounds kind of bad there, and I'd switch in a heartbeat. ?Who straps babies into car seats before their parents arrive? ?And it sounds like she is sitting there for a while like that before you get there.

And the pacifier thing -- I am not a germ freak, but your DCP should be able to keep the pacis separate.

I'd switch. I suppose you could just talk to her, but what do you really think that is going to accomplish??

How many kids does she have there??

?

MrsSledge

The car seat thing would piss me off and I would not leave the carseat with her anymore.  We had a small carseat issue with our daycare, and I switched DD from the infant seat to a convertible to correct the problem - can't leave a baby in a carseat that isn't there.

Our daycare provides a daily sheet detailing every bottle and diaper change.  Do you get anything like that?  

The other thing that would tick me off is DD getting into the dog's water bowl.  I know it is probably not going to happen, but babies can drown in what...like an inch of water, I think.  If she isn't going to be in the room watching DD she can at least put her in a ...oh..I can't think of the word...one of those stationary play things.  

Is is just her, or are there other teachers there as well?  If there are other teachers there I would be tempted to talk to her and see how it goes.  If there aren't I would probably move her back.  If the DCP has other people there she would make an hoest effort to correct the problems, if not I would be worried that she wouldn't, and would cover up screw ups better.

marrymemylove

No one has mentioned the TOTAL LACK OF HYGEINE. No I don't mean the paci, I mean the dog's water bowl! YUCK. You don't want to know what I would do to a daycare provider who even HAD a dog in the same room as babies, let alone let the kids come into physical contact with them let alone let them get into the water bowls. That is soooo filthy.

sara1104

having her in her carseat & coat BEFORE you get there is a HUGE red flag IMO.  if you don't want to change just yet, talk to her about these things & ask her to write down when DD was last changed & if you have to, count the # of diapers you leave there.  but her already being in her car seat bothers me A LOT.  good luck

E C

MrsSledge:

The other thing that would tick me off is DD getting into the dog's water bowl.  I know it is probably not going to happen, but babies can drown in what...like an inch of water, I think.  If she isn't going to be in the room watching DD she can at least put her in a ...oh..I can't think of the word...one of those stationary play things.  .

This is an excellent point.  It's a safety thing.  (MrsSledge, it's an exersaucer  ;-) )

I see red flags here.  If you like her well enough, you need to talk to her.  You can be nice and tactful, but you still need to talk to her.  "Ms. DCP, I've noticed a few things that concern me.  First, car seat.  Second, apparent lack of diaper changes.  DD really likes you, as do I, so I'd hate to have to switch providers.  However, these things concern me enough that I might have to.  Do you think we can work together to get this under control?"

GL!

shannm

I think of myself as easy going but I would jump ship and go back to the original center.  We are at a very well run center and our DS gets changed at least every two hours and they would never put him in his car seat.  Even when we are late, he is being held and they patiently wait for us to buckle him in.   My fear in your situation would be is if these are the things that you know about, what is happening that you don't know?

JJesch

Thank you all for your replies. They are good to read. The hygiene issue does really bother me. We do not have pets and will probably never have an indoor pet. I was a little put off that this provider did have a dog but decided not to hold it against her. Now that my baby is playing in the dog's water dish I am really grossed out.

To answer a few questions, it is just the DCP by herself, there are no other teachers. She has 8 children there. I guess I am really surprised that we are having these issues because my boss takes her 2 children there and her family loves it.

The center she used to go to gave us a sheet detailing DD's day. This DCP does not do that. She offered once (because I always ask when she ate last, etc) but I said she didn't have to because she doesn't for any of the other kids.

TheMalleys

There are many red flags there, including the bright red diaper rash her soaking through her diaper. The fact that she can't provide you with detailed information on when she was changed last and/or provide you with a daily report probably means that she can't remember to change the diapers or take the time to right it down. Then when she called you up and apologized means that she knows something is up. The car seat thing doesn't bother me. At DD's daycare they would put her in her carseat ready to go and I liked it. It helped me get out the door quicker and sometimes she would fall asleep and I didn't have to wake her up to take her home. But because of the other issues, I would pull her out of there and go back to the previous place. This DCP seems unsanitary.

shannm

Oh, I think eight children is way too many for one person to handle.

mrsnewlywed2005

i would not be comfortable with an unsupervised dcp who has an 8:1 ratio.  not to mention the other red flags you complained of.

Angela814

How old are the other children?  If there are more than a couple infants, I'd say that ratio is way too high.  It doesn't sound like she's able to keep up with all the kids schedules.

The kids should not be able to get into the dog's bowl at all.  I'd actually want the dog to be completely separated from the kids at all times.

I would ask to have her daily activities written down again.  That should actually be helpful to DCP so she can look at the sheet when she needs to remember when your DD needs to be changed or fed again.  Tell her your concern about the water bowl and possible drowning.  If you don't want her put into her carseat before you come, then tell her that.  If things don't change after that, then you need to start thinking about moving her back to the center.  It doesn't matter a whole lot that DCP loves your DD if she's not getting the care she needs.

alisonada

Whoa, 8 kids! That's way too many IMO, unless the majority of them are school age and just there for a couple hours after school or something. If you're concerned about the cost at the center why not look into other home daycares, but I wouldn't continue sending my DD there.

E C

8 kids is way too many, IMO.  I'd switch back.

Pesky

What I hear is a nice lady with a lot of excuses for things that cause me to question the level of care she is receiving.  If I am having any doubts along those lines, I'd pull her.  You shouldn't HAVE to tell her not to sit your kid in her carseat in a warm coat in a warm house.  That should be blatantly obvious.  You shouldn't HAVE to tell her to change her more frequently -- sounds like she wasn't doing that already.  My question would be what are you going to have to tell her next that should also be patently obvious to a DCP?  I'd move her back to the center the minute there was an opening.

Mini_Mariah

We'd be gone!  8:1 is ridiculous - is that even legal???  I agree with PP - there are too many thing gone wrong - even if she fixed the things you've noticed, what else is she doing wrong that you haven't noticed yet?  She's shown a lack of responsibility and a lack of common sense.  $30 a week is nothing to pay for your DC's safety and comfort and your piece of mind.

Luckystar2

Switch now!!!  Yikes! I wouldn't even hesitate!  Why did you switch from the center, just because this place was a little cheaper??  I wouldn't have switched from someplace you really liked just because an in home place was cheaper.  I'm assuming that the center did not have a 8:1 ratio because I have never seen a state with such a high maximum.  So the cheaper rate at the in home center would be because she has a ton of kids, and I'm going to assume she is not licensed.

I would never ever be comfortable with a 8:1 ratio.

There are so many red flags. But it seriously concerns me that this woman is by herself with 8 kids.  She went to the bathroom and  left them alone and your daughter got in to the dog's water. As someone said, a baby can DROWN in an inch of water.  She should never be left alone with accessable water.  Not to mention, how old are the other kids...what were they doing while she went the bathroom?  I'd be concerned about her being alone with older kids.

The big reason I like centers is because there is never a single second of the day when the infants are unsupervised.  Its 4:1 ratio, so there are 2 teachers and 8 babies.  Even when a teacher goes on break there has to be another teacher to fill in so that the ratio is maintaned. 

 

MrsNnr

I am not yet a mom, but I HAVE to interject!! My MIL and my SIL both have their own seperate LICENSED day-cares out of their homes. The law in Florida is 1 provider to 5 children. Only 2 of those children can be infants and the rest must be 2 years or older! If the provider has their own children, say she has 2 of her own, then she would only be aloud to watch 3 more. They must also keep sign in and out sheets and let parents know about feedings, diaper changes, etc. I have never gone to one of their homes and seen any of the children they watch in their car seats waiting for the parents!! I would pull my child ASAP. I know laws differ state to state but I can't see any state allowing 1 provider to care for 8 children. Also, by law (In FL anways) the provider must have a back-up to call (who is also certified and has the appropriate classes), in case of an emergency etc.

Angela814

This is going to show up funny with the font, but here's what I found for Wisconsin.  Apparently 8:1 is the maximum for an in home childcare, provided no more than 3 or 4 are under 2 years old.

https://www.daycare.com/wisconsin/

Age Range	Ratio For Center-based Care
Infants	(1:4)
Toddlers	(1:4)
2 - 2 ? years	(1:6)
2 ? - 3 years	(1:8)
3 - 4 years	(1:10)
4 - 5 years	(1:17)
6 years and older	(1:18)
Age Range	Ratio For Family Child Care
0 - 7 years	(1:8) if 3 or 4 children under the age of 2 are in care, the number of other children in care is reduced

 

MrsNnr

Ahh!! That is SCARY!

JJesch

Yeah, unfortunately, in Nebraska the ratio is 8:1 as long as no more than 2 are under 18 months. I guess that was how it was at all the places I looked into so it doesn't seem crazy to me. And this DCP is licensed. Thanks for the responses. I guess I know what I should do, I just hate having to do it!

lami22005

We kind of encountered the same exact thing with my dd and the rash, and in our case, we felt they were in their bouncy seats all day long.  I'd switch asap!!  I don't think your dcp has bad intentions, but she's not really able to take care of infants the way they sometimes need to be taken care of- held when fussy, etc.

Sassystace

Follow your gut.  I'd be really concerned about her being strapped in her carseat and in her coat at 4:40pm--that is ridiculous.  If you give her another chance, I would be very clear with her how many times per day she need to change your dd (i.e.give her specifics like every 2 hours per you pedi's instructions) and clearly state that she is not to be ready to go before you or dh get there (tell her you don't mind waiting a few minutes for her to get ready, etc).  I might give her one more chance but the next weird thing she does, I'd be gone (I'd also call the daycare and see if they have an opening in the meantime).

tina623

I don't think I'd bring her back until you've had a serious discussion with her.  I don't like the sound of what's happening.  I'm not saying switch but for the sake of your baby, talk to her.