as the holidays are approaching it just reminds me that i am not close with my family.. i talk to my mom about every other day or so, but if we get together in person i want to strangle her in about 30 mins. i've been married for 3 years now, and we've since moved 8+ and12+ hours away from where our families are. this is about the time - and it has already started happening - that i get the guilt trip about not wanting to travel back for family holiday dinners. i hate to say it, but i have zero desire to do so. nobody from my extended family has contacted me in YEARS.. (yes, i understand the phone works both ways) and i just do not really have a desire to drive a long way to spend time with people i feel i dont even know anymore...i know im not the only person who's lost touch with family members.. do you feel pressure from family to rekindle relationships?? did things change for you when you had your own children, did you feel differently about "family" events??
Re: nbr: are you close with your family?
i am super close with my whole family, we have had sunday dinner with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone as long as i can remember
MH on the other hand, has no contact with his family. he has spoke to them once since ive known him
Our parents, yes. More so now that we are adults and have lives. And our grandparents. We all live within 45 minutes of each other, so it works out. But not really close with extended family. I really don't have anything in common with my cousins.
"You're gonna miss this You're gonna want this back You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast..."
I am close with my only surviving grandma. We talk almost daily.
My parents are awful, self absorbed people, but my mom's siblings are awesome and I love my cousins to death. My dad's side is full of a bunch of holier-than-thou religious whackjobs who refused to attend our wedding because it was officiated by an Episcopal priest and "Episcopals let in 'the gays' ". We avoid my dad's family at all costs.
DH's family is incredibly tight knit and we both adore his parents/siblings.
We're very close with both sides of our families... We share a mother daughter with my in-laws, and my parent's live about 10 minutes away. Even our parents are very close and enjoy each others company.
We know eventually, when we move we will either live near his or my parents. We both grew up very close with our aunt, uncels, and grandparents, and we would like our children (that don't even exist) to be close to their family as well...
I talk to my parents maybe once a month, slightly more often if something is going on like planning a visit (they live 8 hours away). DH's mother and sister live within 5 min of us, he talks them, on average, maybe once every two weeks.?
So, we care about our families, but I'd never consider either of us "close" to them. As for extended families (aside from one aunt/uncle who I see a few times a year) ... I never talk to them unless we're around them or something has happened, like a death. ?
Mes Petit Choux
I can't go back to yesterday - because I was a different person then. ~ Alice