DH smokes and I want him to quit... help!

lvnlife

My DH smokes, not on an everyday occasion but socially.  I hate it...and he knows this.  His dad, brother and uncle all smoke along with most our friends and when we all get together its even worse.  My MIL says I need to pick my battles and not nag him about it, but I don't nag about much and this is really important to me.  It isn't healthy for him or me and when I do get PG I REALLY won't put up with it.  Any suggestions? 

bumpuser794640

If he's going to quit for real, and for good, he's going to have to want to do it for himself.  No amount of nagging or upset feelings from you can make it stick.  Sorry.

Jessimurph

Yeah, sorry.  You can't quit for him.  He has to want it, and want it bad.

Tonto12

BAD HABIT!  get him to stop before you get pg.  Tell him you will cut him if he doesn't quit.  

::hands over knife....

lo45fd98wq32

It really has to be a personal decision. Was he smoking when you got married? That was probably something you should have addressed prior if so. My mom has smoked since she was 17 and I fear the day she dies from it, so there is no room for smokers in my life!

DesignsOnYou

Did he do this when you met / dated him?

I know several people who smoke socially in particularly while drinking and while I don't think it's a good idea, I don't necessarily think it's as bad a smoking daily.

If my DH suddenly took up this revolting habit, I would sit down with him and very sweetly and kindly try to talk to him about it and my concerns for his health and our family's health. But nagging usually gets you nowhere.

GL!

Brandi-104

Unfortunately this is a losing battle...  all of my ILs smoke.. and it drives me nuts... it's cause for many fights with DH and me.. because if we ever do get pregnant I refuse to go over there.. and I REALLY don't want my kids being over there... all I want is for them to take it outside so the house will air out... but I guess that's unreasonable too!!  Hopefully they'll wise up on their own!! Sorry...

gr8bigsmile

Sorry but ditto pps.  My DH and I had a back and forth battle for a looong time about him smoking and all my nagging did was make him try to hide it from me.  It wasn't until he made the decision on his own that he finally stopped.  From time to time if he's out drinking with his buddies he will have a cigarette but it's very infrequent.

Something that *might* work is to explain to him the reasons why you don't want him to smoke, that it isn't just about you not liking it but there are actual reasons.  I.E.--it's an expensive habit, it's unhealthy, it can potentially lower his sperm count making it more difficult for you to get pregnant, etc. 

Newspaper Articles

Ditto the others.  He has to want to quit.

lvnlife

He smoked in college but then got on this health kick and stopped.  It has all started back up recently.  He says its cause he is stressed... I can think of better ways to relieve stress!! 

pnwjess

Just let him know how you feel about it and that it will NOT be acceptable for him to smoke around you during pregnancy or around your baby, ever. He has to take the steps for himself, but hopefully, if you make your point very clear, he'll come around.

lvnlife

Thanks ladies...all good points... I was just gonna hold sex out on him thats why I love this place!!

netnuh

Divorce.

KLJDBride

Smoking, ugh!  It is the single most awful thing someone can do to their bodies.  I agree with pp in that your H has to decide to quit for himself.  That does not mean, however, that you cannot get some literature and leave it around for him to read, etc.  Maybe that kind of tactic will be less obvious than just nagging.

Also, he's quit before, which is great.  He knows (and so do you) that he is capable of quitting and can do it again.  Just try and be patient and supportive, quitting is brutally hard.  

When he's ready to try, maybe some nicotine replacement therapies (patch) and/or taking him out of the smoke-inducing situations temporarily could help.  There are also some meds that he can take (Chantix is one, I think) that really work for some people.