Who wants to talk to me about SAH?

armandos_girl

Would you?  Do you?  Is it easier/harder than you expected?  And what were some of the bigger factors in decision?

I know no one can make this decision for us except DH and I, but I'm going back and forth.  I would appreciate other's experiences/insights.
 

BethKevin_

I do.  It's hard, honestly (but I can't compare it to a working mom, of course).  It's hard just you and your baby all day, every day...  it is wonderful to get to spend so much time with Kate, but I don't get breaks, ya know?

 

Biggest factors were money and then personal choices that I'd rather not dive into on here )  GL!!

firsttogo

I sort of SAH. I go to a house 3 days a week to care for 4 small children with my son. It is good $ and I am still with my baby. I honestly can not see raising him any other way. Financially it is difficult, but we make it work because this is our priority. I love every second of it. I do need a little break in the evening, but other than that I have NO regrets. You can never get that time back, so if you can swing it, I would! I also was let go while on bedrest for placenta previa and cholestasis. It was traumatic at the time, but it was kind of like a sign that I needed to stay home.

Aekn

I can't really speak from experience, but I can tell you that YES, I absolutely would SAH. It's my dream, actually. I'd go back after Nicholas started full time kindergarten, but until then, I'd love to SAH.

Are you considering it?

Chatham2007

I will, without a doubt or hesitation. DH and I both had SAHM's and really valued it.

BadaBing327

I will. My mom stayed home with us so me it's the "norm". Of course if our financial situation changes, I'll find a job out of the house and we'll go from there.

bumpuser794640

It's our plan for me to SAH.  I feel called to do that, and I've never felt that way about any career path I could choose.  I fully expect it to be really hard mentally and financially, but I think it will be SO worth it.  Once all my kids are in school, I'll probably work part time and/or volunteer.

armandos_girl

Beth - sorry, wasn't trying to be too personal.

Emily - I'm considering it, but haven't talked it all out with DH yet.  We discussed it before getting pregnant, but not since.  A friend of ours suggested we leave the baby with another friend who could use the money instead of daycare, and I started thinking that if I'm not going to put Squeaky into a daycare where there would be trained teachers and where s/he would get the social experience, I'd rather s/he be with me.  My job is...ok, but I don't love it, and I could be paid better.  The other problem is that DH works from home, so that could give us all cabin fever.

Phew, that was a lot! 

sandy02

I SAH and honestly it is much harder than I expected. You get zero breaks and you have to be on guard 24/7 which is exhausting. You cant "leave work at work" so when DH gets home he takes Ethan, even if just for 30 minutes so I can just sit a veg. It is totally worth it, but is not glamorous!

TUSBride22

I don't know yet since we don't have kids, but I just wanted to say that I respect both sides. What I can't stand is when people say one or the other is "wrong"... People know what's best for them, and I respect both decisions.

lo45fd98wq32

kdodge423:

Not a chance in hell. It would drive me crazy.

Biggest factors- my personality for one. Other- I grew up with a working mom (she was single parent for a while) and I have never questioned that would be what I would do.

 

I'm with Kdodge. DH jokes that I go nuts over the 3 months in the summer (I'm a teacher). However, I would love to stay home for at least the first 2 years. I think daycare is a pretty valuable social setting. When they hit school age, I'll go back full time because my schedule will be the same as theirs. But I could never do it for the 18 years my mother did. I don't like cooking enough to do it every day! Or once a week for that matter

armandos_girl

Gnome - I feel the same way about my job.  It's not a career, and it isn't something I'm passionate about.  Staying home might give me the opportunity to finish my degree as well (I'm currently 6 hours short), which would mean I could decide to teach later if I wanted to.

Aekn

armandos_girl:

Beth - sorry, wasn't trying to be too personal.

Emily - I'm considering it, but haven't talked it all out with DH yet.  We discussed it before getting pregnant, but not since.  A friend of ours suggested we leave the baby with another friend who could use the money instead of daycare, and I started thinking that if I'm not going to put Squeaky into a daycare where there would be trained teachers and where s/he would get the social experience, I'd rather s/he be with me.  My job is...ok, but I don't love it, and I could be paid better.  The other problem is that DH works from home, so that could give us all cabin fever.

Phew, that was a lot! 

I can see how that may end up causing some cabin fever!! I can totally see the logic in keeping the baby home with you as opposed with a friend. I find nothing wrong with daycare, in fact I think it holds value, for sure! Either way, its a personal choice, but neither route is wrong. Good luck with your decision! I think, for us, money would just be too tight as I bring home about half of our income. I'm fine with it, but I do wish I could stay home - even just for a while.

BethKevin_

armandos_girl:

Beth - sorry, wasn't trying to be too personal.

Emily - I'm considering it, but haven't talked it all out with DH yet.  We discussed it before getting pregnant, but not since.  A friend of ours suggested we leave the baby with another friend who could use the money instead of daycare, and I started thinking that if I'm not going to put Squeaky into a daycare where there would be trained teachers and where s/he would get the social experience, I'd rather s/he be with me.  My job is...ok, but I don't love it, and I could be paid better.  The other problem is that DH works from home, so that could give us all cabin fever.

Phew, that was a lot! 

 

 

Oh, I didn't mean you were getting too personal, sorry!  i just meant that we made the choice that was personally better for us (no daycare vs daycare) but that is sometimes taken the wrong way by people...  i didn't want to offend anyone - it was just what was better for our family, but that doesn't always work.  some days i do wish i worked ;o)  but most days i find it more than rewarding and wonderful.

N&G 5_26_07

I wish I could, but we cannot afford one income. I had hoped that my mom would be done working and would babysit for us. However, after a year of home improvements, she cannot afford to in the next year either. Maybe next year....

 

 

PinkMnM26

I'm hoping to SAH, but you never know.

I know it's not glamorous, and definitely a financial sacrifice,  but it's important to us.

I have the rest of my life to work. 

I think you can be a great mom no matter what you choose to do.