In response to "age limit for having babies" post on 0-6 months

glaw

hi, I just came across your board. I am neither married nor pregnant, but I am 30 yrs old and will likely be an older mother, which I happen to think is wonderful. I came across that post about how old is too old to have a baby and I was shocked. And I thought you guys were too nice in your responses.

Those people are soo uninformed and judgmental. I think you guys should post on there "how fat is too fat to have a baby??" Maternal weight is a big factor in health risks for both mother and baby, so maybe if some of them are overweight they should reconsider having children. Or drop the pounds before they start. In fact, that is something they can control (how many hohos their fat a$$es eat) whereas the timing of meeting the right person and conceiving a child is mostly out of one's control -- unless you wanna just get knocked up by some skeezy random guy. Getting married and having a baby are not markers of greatness, it's getting married to the right person and making sure you are having a baby with the right person that matter. You were all too nice to not respond to them. I actually can't believe that someone said 29 as the cut off. Idiots.

Anyways, kudos to all of you for doing what you think is right for your lives. I think it's great that we women can now have children later in life, with less health risks than before, and not have too put an external time pressure on ourselves which can lead to making poor choices.

fiazo

Alot of young people think that "our ages" might be too old, however they need to consider these facts. (I don't know about that post "age limit" but if you know where to find it you are welcome to copy & paste this into it.

Divorce rates in America for women (as taken from https://www.divorcerate.org/ )

Under 20 years old = 26.7%
20 to 24 years old = 36.6%
25 to 29 years old = 16.4%
30 to 34 years old = 8.5%
35 to 39 years old = 5/1%

So I personally am very happy to be getting pregnant now at 39! Yeah I would  have liked it to happen a couple of years ago, but I know I am in a strong stable marraige.

bethCT

BRAVO!
I love both of your comments and will add that I would SO much rather have had to deal with infertility issues (we are unexplained so we don't know it if it age or bad luck) with DH than fertile with any of the losers I was with before him!

Temp159135562506975

bethCT:

BRAVO!
I love both of your comments and will add that I would SO much rather have had to deal with infertility issues (we are unexplained so we don't know it if it age or bad luck) with DH than fertile with any of the losers I was with before him!

 

haha- I 2nd that!!!  and yes- those divorce stats are true, too... those young girls will learn someday... they'll be older- and they'll know... b/c they will either wish they got their 20's back to have more fun  - or they'll be divorced and wish that they didn't marry the jerk....

I went to college in FL and most of my friends from college married in their 20's right after college - almost all of them have divorced already- some more than once!  

I waited until i was 32 to get married (which is more common here in the NJ/NYC area)... none of my NJ friends have divorced (yet at least)... all had babies a little later in life and are very happy and healthy.

stever

I couldn't find the original post(and I looked, because I'm a masochist) but am super grateful that we were well-represented. And, mean as it sounds, I love those stats. I much prefer having lived my 20s to the hilt AND having the odds with me for a long and happy marriage by waiting till we're a bit older.

MRSGOLABONTE

Here was the post about it on our board:

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/5343930.aspx

and here was their poll:

https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/5343527.aspx

 

and in case it isn't in either of those posts, the poll on the BOTB not too long ago was aimed at me. ;-) Some girl got pissed at me on a local board because I didn't see what the big deal was about something she posted, so she ran to BOTB and complained about "old people". haha

McCutie

From the movie Fried Green Tomatoes:

Face it girls, I'm older and I have more insurance!

: )  : ) : )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I would have liked to have been a little bit younger but it wasn't in the cards...I am just thankfully we are parents~

Jens38

stever:

I couldn't find the original post(and I looked, because I'm a masochist) but am super grateful that we were well-represented. And, mean as it sounds, I love those stats. I much prefer having lived my 20s to the hilt AND having the odds with me for a long and happy marriage by waiting till we're a bit older.

Right on.  I got married at 37 and it was the best decision for me.  I married a wonderful, responsible, kind man.  I am a much better human being than I was in my 20s. 

Doug'sFiance

Thanks for the support but maybe we can just not judge period.  I am an overweight, over 35, first time mom and had a completely healthy, unremarkable pregnancy.

ChristineNYC

Man, I'm a fat a$$ who is nearly 40 and having a great pregnancy, just like the last one... 

 Goldilocks- where are you in Northern NJ?    We're 10 mins from the GWB.  Just curious from what you wrote, and it IS more common to get married later in an urban area... i agree.   DH and I didn't meet in NYC until I was 33 and he was 35 and we didn't get married until I was 35 and he was 37.   First marriage (and only hopefully LOL!) for both of us.

Christine

stever

Glad you agree Jens, and thanks for the links Mrs.G! And I definitely think there's a difference between rural and urban areas regarding mores about the age when you get married and have kids. My parents would have disowned me if I married and had kids as young as some of those girls, which is fair enough as I would have rather stuck needles in my eyes than settle down at 22 or 23.

4aherrin

Bravo to all of you.  We all have different path and reasons we are having children at this point in our lives.  The original post hits close to home for me.  Who is to say what is best for each of us?  It is very easy to judge when you haven't walked in someone else's shoes.  Having a child at 22 wasn't for me.  I didn't plan on waiting this late in life.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to have children.  I changed my mind on that point when I met my DH, and this is where life took me.  I don't know what it's like to battle infertility.  I don't know what it's like to fight my weight.  Who am I to say anything about those issues when I haven't experienced them? I am just thankful to have finally met my husband and to be where I am now.

charmgal

I can't imagine having had a kid in my 20s. I was too busy having fun and getting my education.  Instead, I waited until 31 to get married and 34 to get KU. I am confident in the strength of my relationship, we make plenty of $$ and I feel emotionally ready for children.  I would be divorced if I had married and procreated with any of my boyfriends from my 20s.  Funny thing though, when I was in my 20s I thought 35 was pretty old.  There's just no way to see it any other way when you're that age.