How do I tell my MIL to stop kissing and slobbering all over my baby??

smisch51

This evening I almost said something to my MIL. I love her and  I know she's excited that her grandson is doing so well, but geeze....does she have to kiss and slobber all over him every second. I'm freaking out thinking GERMS!!!  He's still in the NICU. I cringe every time i see her all in his face kissing his cheeks and neck all the time. It's bad enough she smells like cheap perfume and cigarettes, my poor son probably wants to vomit. How do I say something with out offending her? Help please

SBMBride406

I sent out a "how to keep Marino safe from germs" email to family and friends and no kissing (except on the top of the head) was included in the rules. The email was well received...if you want, I can email you a copy. Email me at queenbb@hotmail.com

Our pedi specifically told us to tell people not to kiss him, so I hear you on that!!

tierelieber

Wow.... that's kinda gross and inconsiderate. I like the email idea. You could also talk to your nurse in NICU and ask her to tell your MIL all about germies the next time she goes on a slobbering binge.

smisch51

Yes, I had a friend thaat said the same thing. I was thinking of having the nurse say something to her so I don't seem like a over protected mother. You would think she would know since he's in the NICU.....but sometimes it's hard talking to her with out offending her.

smisch51

oh, that would be great if you could send that to me. I just sent you an e-mail. Thanks

RubyRed7

The nurses will gladly be the ones to lay down the law for you, don't be afraid to ask. You can even have them make her wear a mask if you're feeling like it ... "Only mommy kisses allowed until he's 2" sounds good to me!

Zeidy01

"It's bad enough she smells like cheap perfume and cigarettes"

?

I would talk to her ASAP, especially the cigarettes even on clothing it can still affect a preemie.?

NotJustAnAuntie

You have an advantage, still being in the NICU! Ask a nurse to do it for you... then you don't have to be the bad guy.

I asked the nurses to mention things to visitors a few times, if I was afraid of it coming out wrong. It's totally a legitimate concern, but a nurse can say it without any potential MIL/DIL drama.

mhop

I would be as concerned about the cigarette smoke on her skin, clothes, etc as the germs.  We still do not let anyone (including my MIL, sister, and aunt) hold Campbell if they smoke and have not showered and changed clothes since they last smoked.  A preemie's lungs are just too vulnerable to any contaminant.

Also, ditto pp, if you don't want to say anything, you can always get the nurses.  Ours were very good at spelling out the rules....

georgy77

In addition to the nurses maybe you can have your DH talk to her.  I like the e-mail idea.  I put "instructions" on my blog as to all the precautions to be taken when dealing with my DS.  Anyone who truly cares for your DS will understand. 

MrsKatieH

You could tell her the NICU nurses suggested noone but you and dh hold the baby until he is home.? ?This was the rule we had in place because we knew we don't wear perfume/cologne, wash hands a lot, etc but couldn't control what others did.? ?And when he was released we had a blog where we posted a How to keep Brendan healthy post.

SuwaneeGirl

I'm sort of surprised the NICU staff hasn't said anything to her about this! Have they seen it for themselves?

I would have a nurse speak to her ASAP.