Maine Babies

? for those with smokers in family

Do you let your LO that reeks of cigg. smoke hold your baby?  My moms boyfriend is a heavy smoker, their house smells their clothes smell and after they have been at my house my chairs smell. The kicker is my mom doesnt smoke never has but she wont ask her bf to smoke outside.  I have told my mom many times when she holds Indy his skin and clothes smell like cigg smoke. Well today she tried to grab him from me and I told her no.  I felt terrible but that cant possibly be good for him, right?

Re: ? for those with smokers in family

  • i told my mom and one of my bff's that when they come to see the baby, if they smoke, they won't be holding her.?
    ?
    There was a study done that shows the effects of the smoke residue that sticks to clothes, hair, etc is just as bad as the 2nd hand smoke. you can google it & print it out to hand over when people are offended,
    ?
    i emailed it to my friend & mother?
  • i do not mean to offend anyone that smokes (i actually used to smoke years ago) but it would gross me out if someone that smelled a whole lot like smoke held my baby. ?i do think the smell would "rub off" on the baby's clothes if that person was holding the baby for a long time. ?
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  • and ps... like crazy, i also read something that said it isn't good for the baby.
  • my mil smokes - it has been really hard especially since babies tend to bury their face/eat clothes, I try to have everyone have a burp cloth anyway for spitup. ?We haven't been to their house yet - they live 4 hrs away - but we are going up for Christmas. ?We are going to stay with mh's friend instead and I am sure that will be a problem but I am too nervous about SIDS and she is still so little. ?I am still not happy about her ever in their house but I don't know what to do about that.
    Janine image image image
  • I have never brought DS and will never bring him to their house..I went once while I was pregnant but stayed outside the whole time.
  • both my mom and mil smoke.  my mom is very considerate - does not smoke in the house at all any more i think, wears a "smoking coat" that is prety much only for that, etc.  mil on the other hand, i remember her coming home from meeting her first grandson (this was long before dh and i were married) and telling us about how smell makes such an impression on babies and just holding him close, saying "nana, nana" so he would remember her by her smokey smell!  i think, as hard as it is, you did the right thing!  it totally makes me uncomfrtable to think of her doing this w. ben and i m kinda dreading the next time we see her!  (she didnt do it to ben, thankfully, when she first met him.  actually, its the onyl time shes seen him.  interesting.)
  • My mother smokes, but never around the baby or in my house.  And when she smokes outside, she wears a jacket which she removes before handling Willem.  Also washes her hands of course.  And we won't be bringing the baby down to her house until he's at least a year old. 

    But I think it's a difficult question.  I would never tell my mother that she could never touch my child.  That's absurd.  Children are exposed to many toxins no matter how careful a parent is.  And alienating my mom isn't worth it to me.  The study that other posters have mentioned brings up some distressing findings, though one study is just one study.  I just think it's important to seek a middle ground with people you care about.

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