Do your SAHM friends understand you?

shouldbeworkin

My BFF SAH and asked to GTG for a girl's night on Thursday.  Well, I'm already going to see her tonight b/c we're going to an event together (one that I am planning and which is preventing me from seeing my kids at all this evening).  I think she's mad b/c I declined the invitation to go out again on Thursday. 

I understand that she's home with her kids all week (well, really she's not, one is in school FT and the other is in PS 3 mornings a week) and she wants to get out for some adult time.  I don't really have the same urge, since I go out of the house and spend time with adults all day.  This stuff is just upsetting to me.  I shouldn't have to feel guilty b/c I can't see a friend 2x in one week to indulge her adult time.  I feel guilty enough about how long I'm away from my kids every day.  Not to mention I just like to be at home doing my thing there and don't feel like I need to get away.

sallyc2003

It's hard.  A lot of my SAHM friends and I have competing schedules, so we don't see each other as much as we used to.  But most of them are pretty understanding.  I even have a couple friends that wish they could go to work, some days they just don't want to be at home.  So it goes both ways, but it's definitely an adjustment.

katie277s

I understand.  Most of my friends don't have kids, so its more that they don't understand that it is important for me to be home to put DS to bed at night.  I get the guilt a lot actually. 

mrshutch

My friends all have playdates and outings during the day- they're sweet about making attempts to include me, but many times they plan events on weekdays from like 10-1. But I also make the effort for things like book club and cookie exchanges. However, if I have to go to one more trunk show, I may pull my hair out

It's hard sometimes, but I much prefer the intellectual stimulation of work, being able to contribute at least a little to our finances, and seeing how much fun DD has at daycare.  

spinach

Similar situation here, my stay at home friend and I have conflicting schedule ( I only have 1) I'm "free" on the weekends and she's not because she wants to spend time with her husband. If we do go out she wants to leave the baby home vs I want to bring mine. My friend is very understanding though and I call her 1X a week to catch up.

 

LMHCnewlywed

That is really hard and I can relate sonce most of my friends w/ kids are SAHMS and now not only do I have a full schedule but my husbands he works unpredictable hours so it is difficult to plan something.

Maybe you could tt her about your concerns and that you wish you had re time. Being a working mom sometime it is hard to get to the grocery store let alone a girls night out! Plus I am just sooo much more tired now.