SIL vent - about my shower

Littlejen22

My Mom and best friend gave me a very small shower yesterday - baby #2 will be a DD.  It was my Mom's idea, when she first mentioned it to me I told her no one in our family every has one for the second but she threw it as a surprise - and asked my friend to have it at her house in my town since Mom just moved into her house and the renovations are not complete.  It was literally 11 adults...only 13 invited total.

Well, my SIL (brother's wife) came and right when she walked in the door she asked my friend who's idea it was so my friend was honest and said my Mom's...SIL told her my Mom asked her to host and she said no!  Not sure if Mom really asked or not but still.  And when my friend asked my Mom if she wanted to do favors and my Mom said yes, friend suggested asking my SIL to help since she is good at making those types of things (friend was just thinking chocolate lolipops.)  About a week ago my Mom told my friend that SIL said no.

 I have no doubt, and my friend assumed on her own, that SIL is jealous that Mom did this for me when SIL only had a shower for her first.  But my friend summed up what she thought my Mom was thinking - this baby is a girl and I have no girl things and my Dad was very sick when I was preparing for DS and for the first 8 months of DS's life before Dad passed away and my Mom could not enjoy it because she spend every minute she was not working taking care of my Dad, my friend just thought my Mom wanted to do this because she could enjoy it. 

SIL has a Mom that gives them tons of things including swingsets that cost thousands, used SUVs and cars that are still in great shape, etc.  My Mom can throw me a tiny shower if she wants.  And to be perfectly honest, my Mom has spent more money on my brother's family than she has on mine, just because she is closer to retirement and every year tries to cut back...and I encourage that but you never hear me complain.

And I am sure that SIL is mad that my friend is watching DS when I go into the hospital but I feel more comfortable with it - my friend does not smoke or have unlocked guns in her house!  I am so not worrying about what other people feel about my choices.  I do not go out of my way to hurt people's feelings but I am not making decisions based on other people's feelings either.

Ok, vent over...I could not tell DH or he would lose it b/c my brother and SIL's selfishness over other things get him so mad I think he would lose it over the shower comments.  Oh, and if you do not agree with a 2nd shower, I pretty much agree with you although I am totally grateful for the clothes and blankets that everone bought DD!

hopefulmom

Did your SIL actually ask your friend these things and say these things in your presence?  If so...she is truly tacky.  I don't have a problem with your mom asking your friend to host a shower for you.  I would ignore what your SIL said...perhaps she is jealous of you and your mom's relationship (maybe she is not as close to her mom).

Littlejen22

She said it to my friend in front of friend's Mom but not in front of me.  My friend and I have been best friends since we were 14 (20 years) so this is the type of thing we tell each other...we complain about family to each other!  It might sound tacky of my friend to tell me but she did it b/c she thought it was funny...honestly I find it funny too b/c it is too stupid to get mad over.  I am not sure what SILs deal is, my Mom and I are close but she is fairly close to my Mom but would be closer if she did not pull this type of stuff...and her Mom does a TON for her but her Mom can be bitchy to/about her too.