how helpful is your DH?

mrs_ross07

I love taking care of DS and I love bfing. I just wish that sometimes DH would help more. I just gave DS a bath and DH sat in the family room watching tv. He didn't even offer to help. He holds the baby until he starts crying then it's all me again. He says that he's tired and I understand that but I don't wake him up when DS wakes up at night. IDK. I guess I'm a little more bothered b/c I'm so tired.

ourlittlebean

my DH has just recently become helpful with DS.  i know it's b/c Ethan is more "fun" now that he laughs and interacts.  when he was a NB, he just screamed and barfed a lot !!  LOL

try to find a good time to sit down and talk to him about it.  i let myself get so frustrated that we ended up in a huge argument.  that could have been avoided if i had just shared my frustrations a little earlier.

sorry ~ it is hard, especially when you are exhausted

rachelxx05

We have pretty much each taken charge of one kiddo... of course me=her, him=Gabe.  We do switch some times, but he hasn't changed many of her diapers and she goes a lot more than Gabe does... He works midnights but sometimes gets up with me on his nights off to sit and watch t.v. while I nurse.  I do her baths, sometimes his too.  When it was just one kid, he was on the boob all the time and never would take a bottle the first 3 months.  I did so much of it then, but he did hold him a lot and helped with baths.  I've gotten irritated at John like 300 times since we've been home, I think it's perfectly normal.  (hugs)

Crazycrustacean

DH tries to help, but he knows right now, it's really all about me & her. He'll keep her & try to console her if she's crying or fussy.?

I think he's afraid to bathe her, but he does stay with me if i ask him to. And he'll let her sleep on him if that's where she's at and i'm tired.

But he doesn't take initiative with house work as much as i need. ?

sdkrlm

I'm really lucky that DH helps a LOT.  Today I left him with Avery for almost 4 hours while I went w/ his mom to go do a little early xmas shopping.  He usually takes the afternoon/evening shift with her except for feeding, so that I can get some housework done or cook dinner.  Before it gets dark in the evening, he still is on "poop" duty and does the litter boxes and dog doo. 

He's not as good with consoling/comforting her as I am but he is able to deal with her by putting her on a couch cushion and rocking it back and forth until she sleeps.  

He hired me a housekeeper to come once a month to do all the big stuff for me too.  

lilyvalley

I am a lucky girl.  From day one he has taken almost as much responsibility for her care as me.  Even when I was breastfeeding he would help (hold a boob, etc - we were have trouble) or bring me food and something to drink.  He does most of the diapering when he is at home and is in charge or washing the poop out of the cloth diapers when they happen.  He bathes her because it scares me.  He is really good at comforting her (sometimes better than me) and it was he who demanded that when we started to FF that I go to bed at 7/7:30pm while he took her until midnight downstairs so I could get some uninterrupted rest.  He does the majority of the laundry without being asked and has even cleaned the toilet a couple of times without being asked.  To be fair, he is injured and not working very much these days so I think it makes him feel like contributing but I seriously could not have asked for more.

berty12777

This is a touchy subject around these parts!  DH is trying to help around the house, but he wants to be patted on the back for everything he does.  He doesn't know how to help with the baby, so he gives her back to me every time she starts crying.  I want him to learn how to comfort her, but I can't stand listening to her screaming, so I take her back.  In the night when she gets up, I feed her and he changes her diaper if it's before 3am.  If it's after 3am, I change her diaper too so he can get at least a couple hours of uninterrupted sleep before he goes to work.  

On top of all that, he keeps getting all touchy feely and telling me he misses me.  Earlier today he suggested that there is a lot we can do even though we can't have sex.  He got mad when I agreed with him and suggested I could take a shower or a nap since we can't have sex. 

Laustique

I'm very spoiled. Mr. Laustique has always been more of a caretaker than I'll ever be, so he does SO MUCH.  For the first 2 weeks, I didn't change a single diaper.  Now I'm home alone with Willem during the day, so of course I do lots of diapers.  But Mr. L comes home at lunch for 30-60 minutes so that I can shower etc. and he gets home from work at 3:30 to help in the afternoons and evenings. 

We do all baths together.  At nighttime feedings, he gets the baby, changes him, brings him to me, then at the mid-point he swaddles him and finally puts him down in the bassinet when Willem falls asleep.  He also does all the cooking (always has), food shopping, and major cleaning (bathroom, vacuuming, floors).

I feel so lucky to have an equal partner in all this.  And Mr. L really wants to be bonded with his son, so he's happy to participate as much as he does.  Although I rarely have to ask for help from Mr. L, there are time when I need to be specific about what has to be done.