need some insight from my SAL mommies!

ladybug29

First of all, I miss you and can't wait to graduate to this board with you all!!!  I hope u are all well!!

I have some questions about after you had your babies.  My BFF just had a baby last week.  I KNOW it's a life changing emotional thing.  I get that.  I have been prepared for that forever between the waiting, the losses, etc.  I am ready for that.  I am just concerned about my BFF..she says she cries a lot and is just always trying to say positive stuff even though I know she is not thinking positive stuff.  I mean, we all love babies and want to be moms, but I don't think she was totally prepared for how hard it would be when her baby arrived.  I never talk to her anymore..we used to talk 24-7 or text all the time..now we text a little and that's about it.  She has become like a friend of hers that I can't stand!!!  Now I'm worried I'll never get her back.  I know this sounds selfish and I don't mean to be like that, but not only am I PG and emotional, I lost the person that was by my side for the first 30 weeks.  I feel so alone now.  Please don't flame me..just share your thoughts.  I'm trying to get over myself, but it's so hard.  I have not heard many of you talk the way she does and it also scares me to death for what I am about to embark on!!  I'm trying not to make her experience mine...after all, I wanted this baby so badly and endured 2 losses to get here- she got PG by surprise (I know that I still hold onto feelings about that too..so now I'm just bursting with frustrations!!)  Help me out ladies!!!  Thanks!!!!

rachelxx05

Hey there,

I just want to say that you guys were both talking/texting a whole lot before she had her baby last week, right?  Have you just now started not hearing from her since the baby was born?  If it's her first baby, she's probably just sleeping a lot and recovering still.  I turn my phone on silent a LOT, even though I don't get to sleep much during the day (2 y.o.!) I don't always have the time or energy to talk much...thankfully my friends and close family know that. 

Also, I'm not sure what she is saying that is scaring you but you just have to ignore that a little bit- just like every pregnancy, every baby is different.  The difficulties she is having may never effect you at all. 

(hugs)

mrs_ross07

everyone handles the baby blues differently. Personally, I've only cried like 3 times. It was the worst when we first came home. If I were you, I'd ask her how you could help. Maybe she wants some sleep or some extra help.

ladybug29

She has her mom there and her DH is home with her too.  I kind of feel like she doens't need me anymore!  Maybe it's just a pride thing I am going through.  I AM nervous about the emotions though...she is always saying how much she cries.  Now her baby has a cold so she cried about that and now no one can even go over and visit..so, I'm lonely!

sdkrlm

I cried a LOT my first week.  your body goes through so many hormone changes, it puts puberty to shame.  Add that to not sleeping and trying to recover from L&D (or C-section), it's a little overwhelming.

I'm sorry you miss her but I'm sure she'll come around.  She needs a few weeks to get her bearings straight and learn how to manage her time and her new family...it's a LOT to handle right away.  I'm sure she's not meaning to blow you off but for the first 2 weeks, as soon as Avery went to sleep, I did too, so I really had no "me" time to just talk on the phone or text message.  

Hang in there!

abj22

I also cried a lot that first week or two. I felt very lonely but I also felt like I needed to be alone a little bit to get my bearings and get to know my DD on my own. MIL was here (who is wonderful) but I couldn't wait for her to leave. I really really needed some alone time. I didn't want to talk to anyone, not even my best friend.

Everyone handles the hormones differently. For me, I snapped out of the baby blues right around two weeks and was ready to start calling people back and getting back into my life. I know it's hard and I'm sure you miss her but just try to be patient. She'll come around.

Big hugs to you.?

ladybug29

Thanks ladies!  I hope she starts to feel better bc then I know we'll both feel better!  I'll hang in there, of course b/c that what friends do!  Thanks for all your insight and I'll see you soon!!!

brisell23

Hey!  I can't wait until you are here! 

I just wanted to say that I went through the same thing - those first 2 weeks are a little overwhelming.  I cried a lot the first week and a half.  There didn't even have to be a reason!  It's the hormones + the lack of sleep.  It does get a lot better after those first 2 weeks.  I didn't call anyone back until this week.  I just didn't feel like I had any free time, I wanted to sleep whenever I had a spare moment.  She will come around - and don't let it scare you.  It is hard, but totally worth it.