What to say ...

Starfish6112

Hi all! I just recently found out I could be having twins, I had an ultrasound last Wednesday showing two definite gestational sacs one bigger than the other. The bigger sac definitely had a yolk sac and a baby and the second one may have had one but they weren't completely sure. I go back tomorrow for a repeat ultrasound and I am really hoping for two heartbeats! 

 Anyways, I'm a nurse who delivers babies and everytime I take care of patients with twins they always say how rude people are and that people always ask them if they had help conceiving. 

My husband and I did get a little help, we were on Clomid and had an IUI... is there anything you recommend I say to these idiots who may ask me? I hope it doesn't happen but i think its inevitable. A friend of mine at work told me to come back with this snarky comment asking them what position they got pregnant in so they realize its honestly none of their business haha but i'm not quite sure I have the guts to do that..

So i'm asking .. any advice from you experienced mamas of multiples out there? 

SWA80

Yes, people will ask. I have no idea why they think this is okay. The only comeback I have used is when asked if we were "doing anything to have twins" to say that yes we were obviously doing something. Usually makes people uncomfortable enough that they back off.

shaunah816

I only had one person flat out ask me if we used fertility treatments (I still can't believe people ask that. Unreal), but I had TONS of "do twins run in your family?" "were you expecting to have twins?" etc. I was using Clomid, and that's likely why I conceived twins, but luckily multiples actually DO run in my family, so I had an easy out. When they'd ask, I'd just say "yes, my grandmother had triplets," and that was good enough for most people.

I've heard ladies on here respond with "No, but they do now!" do the "do they run in the family" question, and I think that's a good one  

BabyCarryingVessel

Our MoM friend BandEddie had the best comeback for this. She has triplets, by the way!

"We did it a lot. Like, A LOT a lot."

It's my favorite new response! Haa!

JoDoc

My hubby and I had IVF and had 2 embryo's implanted.  Both "took" and we mutually decided we'd tell very few people how they came to be.  We each have very judgmental family members.  Anyway, when we told his parents (they will never know the "truth") his mother said "Well, how did this happen?"  My hubby said "Do I need to explain the birds and bees to you?"  She said "Well, twins aren't natural, did you get help?"  My hubby looked at me and I turned to her and said "My sister had twins, my mom was pregnant with twins and miscarried, my mom had twin cousins, YOUR husband has twin brothers...so yes, it does happen naturally" 

 The next time someone asks you how it happened, just say "God figured we could handle 2, so that's what He gave us."  (As long as you are religious people that is)  Because truthfully, that's what happened.  You don't have to mention that there were doctors or medicine involved.  It doesn't matter if there were doctors or medicine, God decided to allow both babies to come to be. 

 

That's just my opinion, and what we're saying to others. 

kgs0505

For the "do twins run in your family" question, I just say no and leave it at that.  Mine are identical, so I'm not sure how people think they come to be, but they are a crap shoot no matter what.  Although we did do IVF to have them.  My family knows, I've been open to them and close friends about it, but strangers don't get the details.  Plus we have an adopted son, so we went through a lot for our kids.  Not everyone gets to know the story though.

I handle strangers by just answering as succinctly as possible and no volunteering extra info.  No one's been rude enough to directly ask about fertility treatments yet though.  I don't usually get offended, but it's almost like being a celebrity when you go out with the babies.  Plus I have a 2yo I am handling too, so we get a lot of attention.

BANBIE18

Omg this is so true ppl are so rude... I had a miscarriage 2 years ago it was so hard on my DH he is being extra protective this time. Last time it was mono/ di twins.... Twins run in my family, we didnt think that after a misscarriage of twins we would get pregnant again with twins but we did. It has all happened naturally i feel truly blessed to have been given another chance that when a cousin told me: "well at least one will survive" i wanted to slap him. This time is di/di twins so far two healthy babies.... But like 5 ppl have told me o wow i didnt know u were using fertility treatments i replied to one of them no actually it happen naturally i am just as surprised as you but i didnt know i had to send a memo inthe office to inform everyone about the happenings of my vagina... Needless to say that person avoids me in the office... Who cares if is IVF or if naturally its a life its a blessing! Its the miracle of life.... Another time a person asked my if i was pregnant with a baby i just reply no, im having a cat lol...

CaliCarly77

We let the cat out of the bag about being pregnant a week ago and already have been asked by pretty much everyone if they are "natural" - and some people even asked us if we were trying lol!

We admit we were trying and that twins was a surprise and leave it at that, its no one's business. My cousin is currently pregnant with twins, my mom had twin siblings and her mom had twin siblings. MH usually cracks a joke about not having been warned about this prior to trying and then people laugh and move on. 

karah4816

Twins actually do run in my family although I was on fertility meds but I am a very private person and I don't feel like everyone needs to know my whole story, although I don't mind sharing it on here. So I usually just deflect the question in some way

katiebenes

shaunah816 said:

I only had one person flat out ask me if we used fertility treatments (I still can't believe people ask that. Unreal), but I had TONS of "do twins run in your family?" "were you expecting to have twins?" etc. I was using Clomid, and that's likely why I conceived twins, but luckily multiples actually DO run in my family, so I had an easy out. When they'd ask, I'd just say "yes, my grandmother had triplets," and that was good enough for most people.

I've heard ladies on here respond with "No, but they do now!" do the "do they run in the family" question, and I think that's a good one  

Yeah... I get "oh, did you do IVF" *very* frequently. My Mom doesn't get why it annoys me so much!

I usually respond with "no, but that's a very personal question." people usually say sorry after