WHY does nobody understand how tired I am?? — The Bump
February 2014 Moms

WHY does nobody understand how tired I am??

This is a vent. I know all of you ladies are experiencing the same thing, so I'm not alone, but it seems as though nobody else in my life understands what I am going through. I. Am. Exhausted. I sit at a desk all day and stare at a computer but by the time the day is over I am so tired I can barely function. I just want to sleep and have no energy for anything. I'm sure walking and exercise would help but I'm too tired to do that too! My husband said he didn't understand how I could be so tired and have no energy to do housework but somehow I had the energy to go eat Chinese. Um, who needs energy to sit down and stuff their face? My mom even said "I was talking to your dad about how tired you are and we just don't know if its normal. I don't remember being that tired at all." I reminded her that was 27 years ago and she probably doesn't quite remember her FIRST TRIMESTER. I had to go as far as to google first trimester fatigue and read it aloud. She then said "I know you just read that to me, but it seems like you are just more tired than that." ...The page I read is exactly how I feel. She is also a work out nazi and has told me 372 times that I need to exercise and I will feel better. I have to keep repeating that I understand I probably would, but I don't have the energy to do it in the first place! Why does nobody seem to understand that creating a person is exhausting??!! I can't wait to have energy back. I am hoping that the day my second trimester starts I will just magically be bouncing off the walls.

Re: WHY does nobody understand how tired I am??

  • I am right there with you in the same boat. Nope, DH doesn't get it. He's trying to be nice, but he does NOT get it.
    I'm convinced that TheBump is having a posthumous feud with Steve Jobs and you can't post siggys from Macs. 

    Cue Hormonal Rage.

  • I felt the way you are describing when I was PG with DS... I seriously slept my summer break away!

    Make sure you are taking your prenatals. I'd also let your doctor know, you could have a vitamin deficiency that makes the fatigue worse.

    GL!

  • Loading the player...
  • My Mom also keeps mentioning when she was pregnant - ummm, that was 34 years ago - LOL. 

    I also have the extreme exhaustion - although I am getting slightly better now at 12 weeks.  I would come home from work and immediately nap for about a hour or more.  Some days on the weekend I was taking 2 naps.   In the last week or so I've been ok without the afterwork nap - but somedays I'm alseep by 9pm or earlier.  You are not alone - and it is completely normal.   Rest as much as you can.

     TTC #1 since 6/09
    Dx: PCOS and MFI
    3 IUIs, 4 IVFs = BFFN
      3rd RE: IVF #5/FET = BFP
    14dp5dt=1170 16dp5dt=2573

    1st u/s=
    TWINS!
    It's a Boy and a Girl!

    Born at 34w3d! 
     

  • I understand completely!!! I am so tired! I was tired with my first but this one is worse!!! Chasing after a 2 year old is a lot of work in general. Then add the fatigue, nausea, insomnia, and any other pregnancy symptoms! The thought of having to keep up with everything I have always done makes me tired. It's 10:30 AM here and I have already been to five stores preparing for my little guys birthday party this Saturday! Now I'm ready for nap! Lets hope the 2nd trimester gives us all some relief! Have a good day!
  • Thankfully, my mom DOES remember how tired she was not much else though!. So at least she is sympathetic. DH is a saint for putting up with me this time. I've been a terrible patient!

    image

    image

    image

    image

     


  • Oh I hear you. Husband does not understand and is a little resentful because he has to pick up the housework slack. But, seriously it is all I can do to get through the 12 hour work day. Showering takes too much energy some nights. By 2pm I want to cry because my eyes are burning. I want to work out so bad and some days I actually get changed but by the time I eat (which takes energy to cook and eat) I can't get up. The nausea does not help either. It has got to get better soon. But, you are not alone. 
    IAmPregnant Ticker
  • This makes me feel so much better, and it makes me want to print this out and show to everybody that I am not making this up, there is nothing wrong with me, and I am not crazy.

    It's funny how we all sound the same. I usually have no issue with doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. But these days putting the dishes in the dishwasher exhausts me and taking a shower is soooo tiring! So good to know you all feel the same way.
  • Aw I am sorry you are so exhausted. I was like that with my first son. What makes a difference for me is a B complex vitamin, lots of Vitamin D3, around 6000ius a day, and an iron supplement. And light exercise.
    I only manage my household duties in shifts now, like I have abandoned daily laundry but I do dishes while making lunch for kids. I sweep as soon as I get a small little feeling of energy, and so on. It gets better, then it gets worse lol So try to develop a way to get things done without making yourself drop to the floor.
  • I'm right there with you all!  My husband tries, he does, but I don't think he really believes me. I was a low-energy person before I got pregnant (as in, I am NOT one of those people who must be up, up,up and doing things and constantly cleaning) so I kind of think he thinks I'm just milking it to be lazy.

    He asked me what was for dinner on Sunday over the phone from his work, and given that I had just finished some laundry, finally cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming a little and was exhausted but was regardless on my way to the mall to buy a new bra because NONE of mine fit currently, I completely lost it on him.  We normally split cooking and chores fairly evenly, but I keep trying to tell him is that I need it to be uneven for a while and for him to do more!  I almost can't wait til I'm bigger so that all the changes I'm feeling on the inside are more evident to him on the outside.  I really think he thinks I'm exaggerating.  I tried to explain all the bad round ligament pain I have been having to him last night and got so annoyed that I just said "sh*t's messed up down there right now, ok???"

     And don't worry, I'm sure your fatigue is very normal, judging by what I'm feeling, what others here are feeling, and what I've read everywhere.  And don't worry about working out--you can do that later, when you're out of the first tri!  And even then I'm sure things like short walks will suffice.  I've been working out here and there and honestly, it just makes me more tired.  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageDawizzle:
    I'm right there with you all! nbsp;My husband tries, he does, but I don't think he really believes me. I was a lowenergy person before I got pregnant as in, I am NOT one of those people who must be up, up,up and doing things and constantly cleaning so I kind of think he thinks I'm just milking it to be lazy.

    This!!!! This is exactly how I feel. I am a low energy person and enjoy vegging anyway, so I swear he thinks I am milking it!
  • I feel the same way!! My bf constantly,tells me 'stop exaggerating.' And It makes me want to muster up,the strength to throw a set of encyclopedia's at his face! Lol. Sad but true. Luckily my SIL is preggo as well and she feels the same way. So she backs me up. <3

    i hope it gets easier for you!! 


    image

  • I feel you, I just spent the weekend visiting my parents for the first time since I've been pregnant. If I hear my stepmother say "She can't be that tired, it's too early for that!" one more time I'm going to go bazerk on her. Or, "You can't be having cravings, you're not that pregnant yet." Oh...my...god. It's boiling my blood just thinking about last weekend.
    BabyFetus Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    February 2014 Moms Siggy Challenge... Turkeys
    image

    BabyName Ticker
  • NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND- ESPECIALLY NOT THE PEOPLE YOU EXPECT FROM (yeah i literally had to shout it out) 

    My husband thinks that all this is such a farce, tired, aching muscles, mood swings, he feels that all this is just a way to grab attention just coz im pregnant. You know the thing is, men are designed to be dependent on women (physically, psychologically & emotionally) & when they see that they are no longer getting the attention & rather have to turn around & give attention to their woman, they freak out! 

    My husband told me in very clear words last night- I cant wait for this whole pregnancy thing to get over so that our lives are back to normal.. with the baby!

    I lashed at him & asked him- what's the guarantee that life will be back to normal once the baby is here- rather our lives would've taken a 180 degree turn by then.

    I am so furious & sooo hurt for the words that came out from his mouth, I just couldn't believe that the person you love the most can ever make you feel so abandoned.

    So hon, I salute to all of us. We are fabulous, we are strong, who cares no one understands or does not, we have to stay positive & ignore all the negativity around us. The baby needs to be happy & so does the mommy.

    So if you're tired & no one cares, just do what you want to do, there's no need to convince people about your current condition!

     

    Big hug!  

  • DH seems to be handling my exhaution well. He's a big joker so he throws in "oh here come the I'm pregnant excuses", and most of the time I know he's joking but sometimesI'm not in the mood. Like yesterday when I told him that I'm not supposed to be cleaning the litter box he said that. I pulled it up on my phone to prove it to him. But overall he's been pretty great about it. And honestly I haven't really been that bad, I would love a nap on weekends but if I don't get one its all good. I did ask him to get DS out of the bath and put him to bed the other night though.
    BabyFetus Ticker


    image
  • This is the most exhausting pregnancy I have had.. even more than the twins! My DH told me it's mind over matter & it's all in my head. I was so annoyed, since then any time he says anything, "I'm hungry", "My back hurts", "I need to use the bathroom". I tell him it's ALL IN HIS HEAD. He has since apologized & has been more caring.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image   and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Ditto!

    DH is trying to fill every minute of the evening with something fun and exciting for DSDsummer vacation, but when I get home after 6p, I barely have stamina to cook dinner for all of us. I just want to lay down after the food is in the oven and go to sleep!
    formerly skoczera
    ~s.h.
    38 y.o. w/PCOS

    F14 October Siggy Challenge - Animals in Costume
    ...image...



    August Siggy Challenge-Rainbows & Unicorns


    image

    March 10, 2014 - G was born

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers    Anniversary       
        image
  • imageRbfdac1:
    This makes me feel so much better, and it makes me want to print this out and show to everybody that I am not making this up, there is nothing wrong with me, and I am not crazy. It's funny how we all sound the same. I usually have no issue with doing the dishes, cooking, cleaning, etc. But these days putting the dishes in the dishwasher exhausts me and taking a shower is soooo tiring! So good to know you all feel the same way.

    yes

    Pregnancy Ticker
  • Don't dismiss every urge to yell at them as pregnancy hormones; if they're being jerks, they deserve a wake up call, even if it's in the form of angry, psycho pregnant woman who is NOT making anything up.  You can handle ONE stressor at a time, & the baby wins.  

    If they don't listen, & repeating it is not getting you anywhere, then tell them that when THEY are carrying your baby, THEN they can give you advice/comment on your symptoms, & if they still think they know it all, walk away.  If they won't listen to YOU, you don't owe them any courtesy to listen to THEM.

    Oh, & what really gets them, if they go to your next appt with you, feel free to mention to your doctor that you're getting little to NO support from your spouse or family, how they all seem to think you're faking, & that they know more about your symptoms than you do, & let your doctor go at 'em.  At the very least, you might shame him into keeping his mouth shut.
  • I found drinking a meal replacement drink as well as trying to eat what I could made a HUGE difference after about 3 days! I drink Boost w/ high protein! Good luck! You're not alone!
  • I feel the same way! I keep telling people how tired I am and that I cannot get enough sleep, and all they say is they weren't tired at all in their pregnancy, and maybe I need to go to bed earlier. They don't understand that I can sleep for 12 hours a night, and still be tired!

    And, after falling asleep on the couch every night last week at 7pm, my sweet and wonderful husand said to me, "wow, the no caffine must be hitting you hard". I seriously wanted to freak out on him and say um.... it's a little more than that honey!!!!

    image

     

  • I was starting to worry about my need for a 3 hour nap everyday after work but it sounds like this is a common symptom.  I only work 6hour days in the summer and its absolutely exhausting!   Thankfully my husband is very understanding and is so excited about having a baby that he has been picking up the slack on the house chores even after working 12 hours a day 6 days a week. I am so luckily!  I'm looking forward to a boost in energy during the second trimester.

     

    hopefully we will all be bouncing off the walls soon!  Feel better ladies! 

  • FabriziorFabrizior member
    edited July 2013
    They don't want to understand. They just think that we are making it up. But we are creating life and it takes a while for our bodies to adjust. I sometime wish I could just smack those ppl and say opps....hormones
  • I can't tell you how much better I feel after reading this thread. I am a teacher and have summers off so my husband is use to me doing everything during the summer. Normally I don't mind but he still expects it and he just doesn't understand how I can be home all day and still don't have a plan for dinner. I get up, eat breakfast, shower and am ready for a nap. We are going to our family lake place this weekend and I feel like I'll be judged for wanting to nap the day away.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards