Insensitive Midwife

kitkat17170

So at 22 weeks I finally get in to see the high risk Ob and I just see a midwife. She tells me because of my bleeding disorder I shouldnt have gotten pregnant but it is too late now. Dh and I did not make this decision lightly. We spent four years talking, consulting, and researching with multiple specialists. It is a miracle I got pregnant in the first place and this witch who met me for the first time says this to me. Thanks for letting a pregnant woman feel like a terrible person.

Chargersgrl33

I guess her delivery of how she said this to you would have a lot to do if she was being insensitive.  There are many people that are told they shouldn't get pregnant and they go ahead and do so and risk their life or their unborn childs life. 

Selfish, yes.  Insensitive of a doc for informing them, no. 

Every situation is very different though and I would personaly rather a doctor be honest with me than beat around the bush. 

rbtrumpet

Sorry that happened.

Is she a high-risk midwife?  She may just be uncomfortable dealing with conditions that sound like they could affect late pregnancy, labor and delivery.

dobrydney

From what your post says you sound like you did research including talking with multiple specialists, so I would try not to let one insensitive comment bring you down!  Sometimes I find that medical professionals get so caught up in the nuts and bolts of it all they forget about their bedside manner.  Keep your chin up!

LuClo

I agree with pp- it's not so much a judgemental comment as a factual observation.  You know that there are a lot of risks involved, and ultimately made the decision that was right for you.  But all the emotional and personal factors that weighed into your decision are irrelevant to her.  The doctor's job is to help you and baby make it through this safely, anything that complicates that is going to be a concern for her.  

I'm sorry to hear that it has to be so stressful.  But then again, you're paying for her skills not her bedside manner.  Good luck! 

fj1013

I know exactly how you feel, I don't have the same condition as you but I have gotten my share of unwanted comments. I was born with a heart condition, I had open heart surgery at the age of 5 and several Cardiac Catheterizations. I had a complete stranger tell me that my baby will have a dead mom, my dr tried to persuade me to get an abortion and after I had said no, he was still bugging me with that..it really made me feel like a terrible person/mother. Here I am, round two...my son will be 3 years old next month. I had pree and delivered by emergency c section, after the dr was done she got in my face and told me not to let it happen again, it was not the right moment to tell me that. I started to cry quietly. I had test done and proved all is well.
My hope for you is that all goes well, I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Don't let some witch get you down..I know its easier said than done. Once you have your beautiful baby in your arms, you'll know that tough decision you made along with your DH to have a baby, was simply the best decision you as a couple could have made. Best of wishes to you.