Hi! I have been a long time Lurker (well since the board started). My DH and I are back and forth on OAD. We have given ourselves a year to make a final decision and I think about it everyday.
One thing I am stuck on is whether parents of onlies have a hard time getting their children involved in activities. This stems from the idea that you are your child's playmate in most instances which I am perfectly fine with but when we are in public I find it difficult to get him to play with others.
He does go to daycare and is great there. When we are around family he plays well with the other children. But it seems when he is with my DH and I in public he doesn't want to play with other children he wants us to play with him or to be left alone to play by himself.
I have found this to be the case at splash parks, malls where there is a play area, library activities, play grounds.... I typically try to engage the other child show my DS what to do etc. but he doesn't show interest.
He is only 21 months so I am not sure if it is age, personality, part of being OAD, or parenting error on my part.
I worry about this because if we are OAD I want him to be able to enjoy things as a child not only what my husband and I are limited to do with him if that makes sense.
Thanks for any insight you have!
Re: Getting your Only involved/intro
Age and personality. And the personality part has NOTHING to do with being an only, and ALL to do with plain ol' personality. Some kids are more clingy, more shy, less willing to open up- kids with siblings can be just like this, too.
But I think lots is age. My DD was like that then, too. It actually wasn't until she was around 5 that she began to open up more and play with others.. and I imagine it was being in the school atmosphere that did it (she never had daycare). Now at 7 she wants nothing to do with me.. so..
Welcome!
I can't "ditto" that's it's age and personality enough.
Definitely age. It wasn't until DS was 3 + that he seemed to be more comfortable/ confident to go off w/o me. We signed him up for soccer when he was 2.5. All he wanted to do was play w/ me on the gym equipment that was in the room too. It was a total bust.
Then personality? DS likes to play one on one w/ other kids. Small groups? He has fun w/ the other kids. Big groups? He tends to kind of go off on his own and do his own thing. TOTALLY content doing it- which is all I care about.
Also- going into an activity that's total strangers? Eh- I think MANY of us would be shy in that kind of situation. NOw that we live in a neighborhood and he has a few buddies, we try to sign up for activities w/ other kids so that he'll know people going into it.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I'd chalk it up to personality, especially since he's in daycare and used to playing with other kids.
My DS is 20 months, but very outgoing. When I take him to playgrounds, I just sit back and he joins right in with the other kids. I don't do any special to encourage it, but I'd be fine if he wanted to do his own thing.
Also, he probably does prefer playing with you and DH just because its a treat for him. He plays with kids at daycare all week, and he wants to hang with mom and dad when there is the opportunity. Nothing wrong with that!
MMC 3.30.16