update

smithpaint

I just wanted to let everyone know what was going on with us.

Short update in case you don't know our story -  We were adopting internationally, met the little boy who had more severe needs than we were prepared for and came home. 

 We left our dossier open in country.  So we can go back anytime between now and January to pursue another child.  We came home thinking we were done with the whole thing.  We were very upset, frustrated, disappointed, etc. 

We are now thinking we may go back.  We haven't committed to a child yet.  I do believe these children deserve families and I do believe in adoption.  We did so much work to get this far - I think we might as well finish what we started out to do.  We will definitely let you know if we do commit to a child. 

 

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aligross

Smithpaint - been thinking about you lately! My thoughts are with you as you and your family wait for the right match for your family!!!

smithpaint

marshmallowevening:

Thanks for the update. If you don't mind me asking, was it that the agency didn't present the situation truthfully or that the medical information over there didn't translate accurately to what your understanding was? Good luck with your next steps. I hope you can be matched with a child that is a good match for your family!

 He was listed on Reece's Rainbow. They just list kids - they aren't an agency. A woman had met him.  She said he was blind and had strabismus. She told us he didn't walk yet but that was most likely because he wasn't worked with and left in a crib most of the time. Well, that wasn't 100% true.  He was born at 24 weeks and has many issues from being so premature.  He has CP and other neurological issues which is why he isn't walking, talking, etc. I don't think she lied to us - she told us what she knew.  However, it was obvious in seeing him that he had other conditions so I'm not sure why she didn't pick up on that.

ellekae

Thanks for the update! I'm glad that you're still considering adopting; I know it must have been gut-wrenching to leave without the child you expected. Praying that your path will become clear soon!

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CaptainSerious

I'm so sorry for all you went through.

I've given much thought to Reece's Rainbow in the past.  I realize they aren't an agency, but once you are considering adopting a child listed on the site, can you not get medical information from the adoption authorities in the child's home country?  I'm asking because the answer will drastically change the way I view the site and whether or not I recommend it in the future.

As you may know, I adopted two "older" children, each with special needs.  We had complete access to all medical information about each of them, and relied heavily on that information to make sure we were capable of being their parents.  Even with all the information we had, we have since found out many more needs our children face, and will likely continue discovering ways in which their early life will present challenges (I said just the other day, I'm going to stop taking them to doctors appointments; at least that way, I won't get any more diagnoses!).  I can't imagine to committing to parent a child with known special needs without first being able to review all medical information, and I just can't wrap my head around it if the site sets up situations in which prospective adoptive parents are asked to do just that.

smithpaint

With some countries you can.  With U-(rhymes with train) you can't get any info.  They won't even open the child's file until you get there.  Then the information at the capital may or may not match the information about the child you receive from the orphanage.  It's somewhat of a mess in this country.  Other countries are much better from what I've heard. 

We talked to a woman who met him and was rather knowledgeable - a social worker who had adopted 4 kids from the same area.  So we thought we were okay, but we weren't.  I love Reece's Rainbow.  I think the issue is adopting from this country honestly.  It's a big gamble. 

CaptainSerious

Thanks for clearing that up for me.  I'm so sorry, smithpaint.  What you went through shouldn't happen to anyone.

SoSweet06

U is so unpredictable....But I wish RR could be more upfront about the fact that their information on kids from some countries (U, especially) is very unofficial. I know that my child (not from U) did not have all of the information posted when he was listed with RR. We weren't involved with them during our adoption, but I do know that some of the information was available and was not shared. 

 Since you are able to travel for a "blind" referral, hopefully you will be able to be matched with a child that you are prepared to parent.