toddler plus infant = crazy

bethko79

Hey ladies. Long time looker, first time poster. I wanted to know of anyone has mastered the art of having a toddler and infant, husband and job, home and well, Everything! I have a 2.5yo and a 6 month old. I feel like i am cheating both of them from the quality time they deserve due to the age difference, differences in interests between them and plainout lack of energy. My husband works afternoons, i work mornings so we are essentially single parents throughout the week and are always playing catch up it seems. Any advice for the struggling mom of two?

AsOctoberFalls

I have no advice, as I only have one toddler.  But, my husband also works evenings, while I work a standard 9-5 (or in my case, 7-4).  It's tough being a single parent every evening.  I'm not sure how I'll manage when we have another child!

Cherryblossoms07

My kids are 2 years apart also.  It gets easier.  Now at 3.5 and 1.5 they like doing many of the same things.  DS looks up to DD and wants to do everything she does so it makes it easy to keep an eye on them because they are always together.  I have more energy now since I no longer have to deal with DS not STTN.  Plus, the kids can play together nicely for a short period of time, usually,  (they do fight over things and torment each other now) so I can get some stuff done during the day.  The first year for me was very difficult, but it gets easier I promise. 

eb1113

I have no advice, but I know how you feel.  My kids are the same ages.  I'm a teacher, so this spring when I went back to work it was awful.  I felt like you, where I didn't feel like the kids were getting their own one-on-one time they needed and one was getting cheated.

Now that it's summer, I can give my oldest some one-on-one time while my youngest takes her morning or late afternoon nap.  We go in the backyard and play or color with chalk out front or weather pending we stay inside.  My youngest usually gets one-on-one time when my oldest naps and just the nursing time is some bonding time with us.

It is tough and I'm not looking forward to going back to school in the fall and losing all that time with them.  I know I will feel like I am cheating them of any quality time because by the time I get home I'm exhausted!

BeanNut

I agree that as they get older, they will be more interested in each other.  Mine are 2.5 and 10 months and the past few months they have started to play together sometimes.  Other times, little sis follows big sis around.  I also try to interest big sis into "helping" mama take care of little one if she needs a bottle or diaper change.

kgs0505

I have a 28 month old and twin 3 month olds.  It is very difficult.  I am frequently alone with them in the evenings and the weekends as my husband works retail.  It is very hard, but I suspect it'll get easier as the twins get more independent, and everyone can do the same things at the same time (ie - naps/meals). 

I also work F/T and do 99.9% of the daycare drop-offs/pick-ups as we only have one vehicle that fits all 3.  As for my marriage, well, that still isn't being juggled in very well, but it's starting to get better.  Once the girls are sleeping thru, I think that will be a big improvement.

RHitch

My kids are 2.5 years apart and I can assure you that it gets so much easier as time passes.  The first year was crazy for me. I work full time and my husband works anywhere from 40-60 hours per week.  Getting them up and dressed in the morning was a nightmare, and getting them bathed and in bed at night was even more difficult.  My daughter is a night owl, so some nights she would lay in bed awake until 11:00 PM.  As a result, she would cry the entire morning because she didn't want to wake up.  My son is an early bird, so he went to sleep early but was up and ready to run at 6:45 AM every single day.  Fast forward a couple of years and my children are now 5 and 2.5 years old.  They are very close and they spend most of their time playing with each other.  We are now on a routine in the mornings and in the evenings. They are much more independent, so I am not all over the place like I was 2 years ago.  With all of that being said, it may be difficult at the beginning, but it gets better as time goes by.

illba2011

Same boat. I have a 2yr old and 3 month old. It's hard but you do your best every single day and that's all you could do

JustBeth

My daughter will be 4 when we have #2 (due in April) and man I'm getting nervous bc they will have a bigger age gap

ThatWasAHoot

I am a SAHM....so a lot of the time I feel like a single parent of two, as well!  And honestly, sometimes I have up to 6 kids in here at a time.  My best advice is to just get them on their own schedules and base your day around them.  I have it so that in the morning, we have time with the three of us together.  Baby goes down for a nap from 9-whenever she sleeps (usually 11:30 or so.)  While she is sleeping, toddler and I have time outside to play and to "big kid" stuff.  Then I give him his lunch at 11:30, followed by a potty break and a nap from 12-2.  Then baby and I have some one on one time together until she gets tired around 1:30 or 2.  Then I swap off with toddler again because he wakes up.  We have more "big kid" time and then baby is awake and we end the day with Mommy coming home from work so the 4 of us have time together.

It kind of stinks because a lot of the time they get cranky if we don't adhere to their schedules.  But honestly, I feel like both children get enough time with Mama and enough together time, too.  Of course, baby naps more than toddler, so she gets a bit less time.  But our time together just one on one, she definitely enjoys! 

The other piece of advice I can give is that you really need to follow the kids with what they need and just give in to them.  I tend to be a bit of a control freak, so it was harder for me at first, but really, once I gave in, things got a lot easier.
Good luck!