A little vent

danigirl7181

I'm tired of people telling me i need to just let my baby cry. He is only 3 weeks old. He will sleep for a bit in his swing it's next to my bed, but not long, so we are bed sharing again. We did with DD too. DHs aunt said crying is good for his lungs. Really? Again i don't think a3 week old is crying just to cry. He cries because he needs something. Even if it just means he wants to cuddle with mama. Another family member asked how long i was letting him cry in the bassinet, not long. The only time he cries longer then a minute or two is if I'm helping DD use the potty. Please tell me I'm doing the right thing by going to him when he cries. DD only had a grunt when she was little and upset, DS has a very intense cry.

This is basically just a vent, DH and i have a little different approach AP to parenting then most people we know.

tokenhoser

Crying is good for their lungs like bleeding is good for their veins. You know what your baby needs. Hang in there.

Emerald27

Crying is not good for your baby's lungs OR brain development. Sheesh!

Follow your instincts. You are a wonderful mother. When your baby cries, it's absolutely natural to respond to him immediately. You're helping him learn to trust you, that he can depend on you and you'll be there when he needs you. To not respond or to "let him cry" would teach him just the opposite, that mommy won't be there when he needs her.

There is so much unsolicited advice in this world. It's tough, but trust yourself and try not to worry about what others think. He's your baby, and you're doing what works best for you and your family. Good job! 

octobermama87

Thank god for sane ppl like you. This is from the July '13 board. Grrrrrrr. 

 https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/75479885.aspx 

I'm hoping its MUD!!!!!! But who knows.  

danigirl7181

Thank you ladies for the support, i do feel like responding to him is the right thing to do.

danigirl7181

may10587hotmail.com:

Thank god for sane ppl like you. This is from the July '13 board. Grrrrrrr.nbsp;nbsp;https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/75479885.aspxnbsp;I'm hoping its MUD!!!!!! But who knows. nbsp;

I can't get to the thread, I'm on my phone.

Emerald27

may10587hotmail.com:

Thank god for sane ppl like you. This is from the July '13 board. Grrrrrrr.nbsp;nbsp;https://m.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/75479885.aspxnbsp;I'm hoping its MUD!!!!!! But who knows. nbsp;

This is horrible. That sort of thing makes me livid.

ETA: that's clearly mud. If you read through the comments, it becomes more obvious. Still, the thought is heart wrenching.

TiffanyBerry

"Crying is good for the lungs" is old school pseudo-medical thinking.  (In other words, it's BS.)

IMHO, you're doing the right thing.

ObLaDi

tokenhoser:

Crying is good for their lungs like bleeding is good for their veins. [;] You know what your baby needs. Hang in there.

Love this!

Definitely respond to your baby. You are doing great!

SarahinMD

So as far as I'm aware, actual studies (not what someone's personal opinion is) indicate that CIO and not responding to babies' needs caused long term damage that can likely never be undone. I tried looking quick for a study (I feel like yet another one came out recently) but here is one summary article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out 

I generally don't discuss our parenting style with people who have vastly different styles, but with DD it came up with the ILs ("You really hold her a lot. She doesn't get to cry much, huh?"). They may have compared to their style, but moreso to SIL, who has a VERY different approach than we do. I'd just say, well, studies show it makes for a more independent child. Fortunately MIL and FIL are too polite than to argue it, so they'd just let it stand at that. 

Do what works for you. Research is behind you! 

SarahandSam2007

You're doing it right.  You wouldn't want to be left alone to cry, and neither does your baby.  Sometimes I just want to look at people who mention CIO to me and tell them to treat their babies like HUMANS! 

PS...it'll likely get a little easier around 6 weeks.  

AlexisLA

DH's aunt is also always giving unsolicited, old school advice.. everything from letting LO cry so as not to spoil her to putting rice cereal in a bottle. We just try to ignore her and other people like that.

musicalmama5

SarahinMD said:

So as far as I'm aware, actual studies (not what someone's personal opinion is) indicate that CIO and not responding to babies' needs caused long term damage that can likely never be undone. I tried looking quick for a study (I feel like yet another one came out recently) but here is one summary article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out 

I generally don't discuss our parenting style with people who have vastly different styles, but with DD it came up with the ILs ("You really hold her a lot. She doesn't get to cry much, huh?"). They may have compared to their style, but moreso to SIL, who has a VERY different approach than we do. I'd just say, well, studies show it makes for a more independent child. Fortunately MIL and FIL are too polite than to argue it, so they'd just let it stand at that. 

Do what works for you. Research is behind you! 

This is a great article! Thanks for sharing.