Bed sharing to crib--minimizing crying
st.augbride
member
Hi ladies, I need help here. I have pretty much been using an AP style from the beginning with dd. She is now almost 7 months old and 16lbs, but I still wear her for all her naps when she is with me. She does go to daycare and naps in the crib there, but to be honest I haven't really tried here for naps since I love wearing her and she sleeps well (though she is getting heavy, so I will likely need to change soon). I also have been bed sharing with her and she nurses all night. Our bed isn't ideal for this set up and I need to get her used to sleeping in the crib, which right now is in our room. She is a VERY strong-willed child and is not go with the flow for anything. She knows what she wants and fights for it. She rarely lets anyone else but me hold her, and she is by far the most difficult baby in her group at daycare.
Anyhow, we decided to try putting her in the crib and using Ferber since even in our bed lately, she wakes every 30-60 minutes until I join her and gets upset when I leave. But I'm not ready to sleep when she does (I put her down 7-8pm and I go in 11pm-12am). It's clear that this isn't good for anyone since she needs to be able to sleep well without the boob! I have no problem feeding her in the middle of the night, even multiple times. I just need her to sleep in the crib before and after. It's safer for her and she needs better sleep.
The first night of Ferber wasn't too bad. She was down after 30 minutes of fussing/crying (with a few peaks that killed me), and then woke up at 1am to eat, and then fell asleep after that next to me. The second night, last night, was horrendous. She took 2 HOURS of crying/fussing to fall asleep, and then woke up at 11:30pm, so I fed her and put her back in the crib. It took 15 minutes and she fell asleep. She then got up again at 2am, so I fed her and kept her next to me. I'm so nervous about tonight! But at the same time, I'd hate all this crying to be for nothing.
Anyone have any thoughts on the best way to deal with this? Or experiences to share? She's closer to being mobile and our bed is crazy high up with no abilities to lower it. It's also soft, so not good for belly sleeping. In other words, she HAS to go to the crib. Help!!??
Re: Bed sharing to crib--minimizing crying
Could you sidecar the crib up against your bed, nurse her to sleep and then gently move her there?
ETA: We put a bedrail on our bed, because it's also very high. That works very well with our mobile 20 month old.
Also, check out these books:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005M4Z3KG
https://www.amazon.com/The-No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Foreword/dp/0071381392
Both of these can help you find the information you need to transition your LO to her crib without crying. Have you considered nursing/rocking her to sleep and then putting her in her crib once she's asleep?
Thanks, I'll look into those books. We do have a rail on my side of the bed and when she bed shares she sleeps between me and the rail (dh is a large guy and deep sleeper, so can't be near him). I just still worry a lot and would feel horribly guilty since the crib is a safe place. I honestly love sleeping next to her and prefer that, but feel she would sleep better if she adjusts to the crib.
Also, whenever I leave (meaning boob leaves mouth), she wakes up, even if she stays alone in my bed and I just slip out. And when she doesn't, she does 30-60 minutes later until I am permanently there.
I am not going to be of any help since I'm in the exact same situation. My 7 mo old dd stays home with her dad all day while I am at work and has no problem sleeping without me then but at night time she has to have me there and the last 3 weeks or so she's been waking up every 1 1/2 hours to nurse for 5 seconds to 30 min before she goes back to sleep. I've been trying to transition her into the crib, I moved a twin size mattress in her room, she tried to roll over to me and hit the rail of the crib, realized she was blocked and lost her mind. She won't take a pacifier and doesn't suck her thumb etc. I just was wondering as a tag along if you have any additional self soothing things you use or if you just sit there next to her while she cries for 2 hours (which it looks like I'm going to have to be doing soon)?
She also wakes up immediately if she's put down and that whole putting down when drowsy thing is a joke (in our case), she jolts awake and goes from sad to panicked full on unhappiness. At least we're not alone?
I could have written this post myself 9 months ago when my DD was 7 months old. (She's 16 months now and is still in our bed.) My DD was a lot like yours at that age. She had to be latched on in order to sleep at night. Naps were never a problem but for some reason at night she wanted my boob in her mouth the entire time. Honestly though I love having her next to me. We stuck it out and now she's at the point where I still bring her in bed with me but she will nurse and then roll over and go to sleep. It's amazing! Now is when I think she is ready for the crib transition and DH and I are going to try soon.
Also, our bed is also pretty high and we have no bedrails and we have never had a problem. She is between DH and I though since we are both light sleepers. I know that's not an option for you.