BM cancelled S Break.. do we have to set up another?

Pamelacake

BM just called.. BM was to have SD's for 10 days starting last weekend.. She cancelled the whole thing.. one day at a time up until Thursday when she cancelled her scheduled weekend.

Now she is calling to set up a time for summer break. I am very confused... Do we need to set up another time for this.. school starts in a little over 2 weeks.

Pamelacake

There isn't anything specified in our guidelines about make up time unless it's already discussed at the time of cancellation. SD's therapist was on vacation last week so that was perfect for us and BM said it would work for her.  and it was SD's off week for her main therapist.

I'm almost positive if we set up another summer break time it won't be followed through with but It's so hard to get SD into her main therapist if we miss an appointment because she stays super busy.

I'm also pretty sure BM is just looking for reasons to call as this is an every weekend thing.. esp if BM is supposed to have SD's. UGH.. IDK what to do.

 

Wahoo

When you set up vacations does she have to give you a certain amount of notice (ie by May 1st, 30 days before vacation, etc)?  If so, point out that she has cancelled her days and per the CO you do not have enough time in the summer for her to reschedule.

Even if it does not have a notice clause, I would think with school starting in two weeks you do not need to reschedule.  Tell her you have plans for the last two weeks before school starts.  Since she voluntarily gave up her time you should not be obligated to reschedule.

given the fact that she calls to harass you, I would stick to the CO for all visitation.  If you stick to the CO, she cannot constantly call to switch.  In fact, I would only respond to requests made in writing (text or email), which limits her ability to go off on you and provides a paper trail.   

Pamelacake

Thank you so much.. that's kind of what I was thinking and yes.. If she doesn't let DH know by April 1st he gets to choose which part she gets and it is supposed to be in writing, in advance if she does choose by her date.  BM doesn't do anything in writing.. claims to have no email and when she does text, FI does it for her as she is legally blind.

I do record all phone conversations and voicemails (legal in our state) and I also let her know that I was doing this back in February. I document everything.

Sorry to get off topic. Thank you so much for your advice

Littlejen22

Definitely bring proof of that and of how accommodating your DH is trying to be also.

Pamelacake

Littlejen22:

Definitely bring proof of that and of how accommodating your DH is trying to be also.

yes definitely. nothing will be left out from either side. DH called BM to let her know that school would be starting up soon (about a month and a half in advance) They set it up and then she cancelled one day at a time. The fourth was even worse, BM kept calling and telling DH to text BM'S FI's phone to let her know when she was supposed to get them. DH texted every tiem she called as she had instructed but is saying that DH didn't text at all.

DH texted to FI's phone this past week that BM was a dead beat mom and all of a sudden FI gets the texts bc he responds right back.

DH texted yesterday about SD's, responding to a vm that BM had left and since the texts are about SD's and not BM they are pretending not to get them again. I knew they were doing this from the beginning because it shows if the text went through or not. Just so frustrating. Thank you.